Hello all, sorry for lack of update.
The last 6 weeks or so have been crazy busy...good things and bad things. I've had several emotional breakdowns (behind closed doors), a panic attack, depression on and off, and some severe fatigue that I thought I had passed through already...
I've also had several great days full of stanina. The last two weeks at work we have been doing a remodel, which means for the last two weeks I've been moving furniture, laying flooring, painting, piecing together new furniture, and keeping up with a few of my regular work tasks... I've been working 8-10 hrs a day 5 days a week, much more than I normally work. I've loved bein so useful and working so hard, but my gosh it's taken a toll. The remodel has finished so life is about to (sorta) slow down again.
In my personal life I have had several events happen over the last month or two...two things of which a fairly big deal. I'm not in any trouble or anything bad, but I have some friends and family who are going through some major life clutter right now that has been dragging me down. One thing that I have gathered since becoming sick with Lyme disease is that I can't just leave someone I love hanging...I feel like I have been left in the wind way too many times in my life, it tugs at too many heart strings to see someone struggling.
I have had to check myself a few times and say today I am done...I have given all I have to give. It's worn me down so strongly on some days, I just stay up texting one of my close friends venting to him about everything. Even then I've had to watch it because he's not living a bed of roses either, but he's been there whenever I've needed him.
I can honestly say I do have a good support system as far as friends are concerned.
In a month I go back to see my doctor at the clinic. Last trip to Kansas was very rough, traveling to Kansas was a hassle because flights were booked. We ended up driving through a tornado in Oklahoma to make it to Wichita. But we made it. Then after a few days of treatment I was sicker than I have been in my entire life..I didn't know it was possible to be in so much pain without a bone broken. I don't think I have 100% recovered since then to tell the truth....before I went to the clinic last time I was having plenty of great days and I was holding steady. After the last trip though my heath has been all over the place but never up to what it should be.
I have already completed a hormone test called the DUTCH test, I'm interested to see what the results turn out to be. I will also be doing a thyroid panel plus the standard blood work in the next few weeks. If anything this next visit will give me a strong snapshot of what my body is doing and what needs to be corrected.
Because of all of my emotional scrambleness, today I started take lithium aspartate 5mg. Even without the life clutter my emotions and brain were more erratic than normal. Lithium is good for mood regulation and possibly even brain fog, supposedly...so we shall see.
Years ago I took lithium, I had a hair mineral test to check my minerals and toxicities, I no detectable lithium in my system. So I took lithium for a few months, I had fewer terror thoughts while I was taking it, every so often something bad comes to mind out of no where that's just terrifying. Like, what if this car runs through the intersection straight into my car or what if something tragic happens to someone I am close to. Lithium decreases that significantly, I'm hoping for that to happen again.
Overall I am not doing too bad I guess...but the last few months haven't been as good as previous