Climbing my Skyscraper

This last month has been hard, and I don't know why. I just feel like I'm trudging. Dragging through the day, living the same day over and over. I had been doing so great, a few times this year I was able to exercise for fun and it felt good. That hasn't happened in years. On paper that looks like progress to me.

After the first and second visits with the Hansa Center I was doing great. My energy was building up, I felt like my body was getting stronger. Life was getting a little better, I was feeling more positive.

Recently, I feel like I'm fighting to feel the little I feel. I've felt more down, and my body has physically felt depressed. My whole body is just clawing to do what it's doing...

I don't know what to do. I'm booked to see my doctor next month, I am looking forward to talking to him about what's going on. It would be nice if he has some breakthrough, I know that's rather idealistic and he won't have a straight up, simple, single answer. He will have answers, he's great at finding the bottom of things, but there are many levels to an illness!

In the meantime...I have over a month left before I see the doctor. What do I do... In the past I would take to the Internet or library trying to find something. Usually ending in me changing something in my protocol or adding to it. It's been a long time since I've had to do that, I love not having to be my own doctor. It's so stressful having to rely on yourself for treatment, my doctor has been a life saver,

But today I guess I'm going to hit the Internet, I don't plan on adding anything to my protocol. But I just have to do something, I feel like I just sit at home and struggle. 

Even going through the refrigerator, all food looks gross. Eating for whatever reason is a struggle for me, so on the down days I have had the last month or two it's even harder to eat. Motivation to eat is low, looking at food thinking I'm going to eat the same usual food, also not helpful. I don't know what I need to do...