Do you guys ever feel like you are living in a bubble? I sure do. All the time, more so lately than ever. I just cannot figure out when I walked out of reality into my own little bubble for one.
I feel like I can only see whats going on around me, never actually touching the outside world. I know others can see me but its like no one can get any closer than just out of reach.
I call it Snow Globe syndrome. I can see out into the real world from my own bubble and every one else can see in, but theres this thin layer that creates a divide between the two world. Each world just barely out of reach from the other.
I often find myself on the sidelines watching others. I watch what everyone else is doing. I know whats happening its right in front of me after all. I don't understand it though, its a world out there that I no longer comprehend. Its just me in my own little snow globe, watching my friends and family do regular human activities bringing them enjoyment. Ive reached the point where I don't even understand how some activities can create enjoyment, like whats the point?
People have tried to reach into my little bubble and I always reach out. I hope that this will be the time that someone rescues me from my own little world. Unfortunately it usually ends in me getting dropped back into the snow globe even rougher than the time before. Its like I can reach so far and just start to feel the other side, what its like to be normal, then I slip and fall. Back to the bottom.
I don't know what to do, Im not sure who to reach out to. Im sure other people out there feel like I do, I couldn't be the only one. People feel alienated all the time, why can't we all understand each other better instead of pushing each other farther apart.
What will it be like to leave the snow globe? It has to happen one day, but when and how? Thats the question I ask.
These days I feel like I am just a sideline listener just trying to make it through the day. It hasn't always been like this and it won't always be like this. I just want to know how long it will be like this.
I am so sorry! i know exactly what you mean and it is so hard. I feel so disconnected from this world and somehow over the last 6 years of isolation I don't even understand a lot of the social expectations, styles, trends etc. I feel like an outsider looking in on what my life was going to look like. If that makes sense. Thank you for your posts. They mean the world to me!
ReplyDeleteI wish there was a cliff notes version of life, so people like us who are just watching instead of playing can at least have an idea of what’s happening
ReplyDeleteCould someone get a move on that for us??