Rough Night

Well I am here to report my trip has ended, I am heading on back to my own home. I am so sad to go, it was an amazing fantastic visit. Lots of emotions due to the occasion, I cannot understand what my friend is going through. I don’t have the magic words or magic wand to make things all better. Today is his moms anniversary. I am sad I was only able to spend part of the day with him, but I am even more grateful that I was able to be here for the whole weekend! It was worth every bit of spoons I exerted and every bit of stress it took to get to him.

I’m going to miss him. At baggage check I was tearing up in the airport, I felt so dumb for being upset already. I’ll probably  see him in a month. Not for the same extent but I may.

Last night I had a lovely Lyme episode. I was in my friends dorm room waiting on him to get off work, his roommate and friends were also in the room playing video games. I started feeling kinda funky. Dizzy but not exactly. I’ve never experienced it before, this was new. After my friend came back to the room I started feeling light headed so I sat on the ground while he did what he needed to do. When it was time to head on to the car and go back to the hotel for the night, it got worse. We made it through the dorm and down the sidewalk before I started feeling worse. I told myself I could make it to the car and hotel. I didn’t want anyone to know I wasn’t okay, this weekend was about my friend not about my Lyme crap. I said to myself that if it gets much worse I’ll get my friends attention , he will do something to help. I couldn’t open my mouth before I hit the ground. I had been walking in between my friend and another friend. Next thing I knew my knees were kissing the sidewalk. All I could do was cry and cry and cry. I was so embarresed and I didn’t want anyone to see.  My best friend helped me back to the car. He stayed with me until I could walk normally. He prayed over me.

I’ve been off ever since then. Especially emotionally. My brain is scrambled eggs and I’m emotional. I know it’s temporary though.  That scared me though, I don’t know what happened. I think it was anxiety. I’ll talk to my therapist later.