Anxiety and Endoscopy

This week has yet to have a dull moment, I’ll just start off by saying that!

Over the last weekend I got super sick with I’m not sure what. Eating became more difficult and I had some horrible bouts of anxiety I have never known before. 

Saturday night I lost it. I was sick. My whole body was shaking, I was crying, I was texting a friend and mixing up worlds but didn’t realize it, it was bad. 

Then Sunday night I had another anxiety attack. I was laying in bed, decided to get up. I stood up and froze, all I could do was cling to my night stand and just stand there. I was able to slowly begin creeping my way across the room holding onto things but it was very difficult. I have never had anything like that before. I have had anxiety before but I’ve never lost control of my body like that.

One of my friends called me to help with the anxiety. I stayed in bed, she called me over FaceTime and just spoke to me. I would text her my response and she would speak to me over the phone. It was law at night and I didn’t want to disturb any of my family members. It was so so kind of her to do that. She’s been a great friend. 

She herself deals with depression and anxiety, so her and I understand what the other goes through very well. 

It was a scary night though....very distressing. I could feel my blood pressure go up and my heart was racing. 

I tried to do a guided meditation but I kept feeling like someone was touching my face even though I was alone...no idea what that was about. Long night to say the least.

Monday night was not much different. Shaking, crying, anxiety, paranoia, brain fog, all at once. It didn’t last as long as Sunday nights event. 

This caused me to be worn out on Tuesday...

All of this has been very mentally taxing for me. I’m working on trying to get to the root cause of all of this. 

I know it’s got to be related to my stomach. All of this happens when my stomach starts hurting and getting bent out of shape. 

I tested myself on the biofeedback machine at work, it said I was stress towards a duadenal tumor and e.coli...

This doesn’t mean I have either of those. But it does mean I have been storing a lot of my stress in my gut and that I need to be managing my stress better than I am.

The machine also said kidney cancer from unresolved emotional conflict. 

I wanted to tell the computer thank you for recognizing all my crazy emotions as legitimate. Not gonna lie. But again, kidney cancer wasn’t exactly what I wanted to see.

The bio machine does say cancer just all the time any time. So it’s not something I find reason to totally ignore, but I’m not going to jump off my block saying I’m loaded with cancer because it says so. 

Then Tuesday I saw my chiropractor and spoke to her about what lab tests I need to talk to my doctor about. During the conversation she said she had a patient who had a stomach tumor with very similar symptoms to me...and that it could be possible. Her vote is that I have an ulcer though....

Another symptom I’m having is random high blood pressure. I tested my bp Tuesday afternoon-148/100. Rather high according to the doctor I work for especially considering I was not having anxiety at the time.

My chiropractor said her patient had a tumor pressing on an artery causing BP fluctioms randomly. 

Then on Wednesday I saw my regular doctor who I eat infusions from. She started me on sucralfate to help with the digestive pain(not my preference but I have to do something). She also mentioned the possibility of a tumor. She didn’t seem so convinced of an ulcer, but her opinion was I need a GI scope to get a real idea of what’s happening. So she sent me to see a GI doc.

Leading us up to today! Getting tired yet?

I met with the GI doc. He talked to me about supplements...I gave him the simplest minimalist explanation of what I take as I possibly could have. I was not in the mood to be looked at like I’ve lost my mind. He told me to stop my supplements because they aren’t working (yea probably won’t follow this, I didn’t explain what all I have wrong with me). 

He didn’t give an opinion of what could be wrong but he did say we have to do an endoscopy to see what’s happening.

So next week, I’m going to get a camera stuck down my throat and get my stomach looked at. 

Maybe it’s a tumor, maybe it’s an ulcer, or maybe an inevtiom it a hernia....I don’t care what it is at this point I just want to know what’s wrong.

I’ll have to go under anesthesia for this, which scares me a lot. Last time I was under anesthesia I woke up with a full blown Lyme infection (first time). I really don’t want this procedure to set off a cascade of symptoms...I really don’t want this to be a big deal. 

I just want to be able to eat. I went to take my supplements this morning and I projectile vomited them back into my hand. Never had that happen before. Swallowing has gotten difficult for some reason. I used to be able to eat and drink just fine. I could swallow 20 pills at once and be fine. Not the case anymore.

So next few days...I should have some kind of news. 

I’ll be saying a lot of prayers the next couple of days as well..