Endo Update

So sorry for my delay in posting my endoscopy results. I know I left you on a cliffhanger with the potential of cancer (once again).
I realized something, this was the second time in six months I was told I may have cancer. Good news is I am cancer negative. Bad news is we still have no explanation as to what is wrong with me. I wish I couldn't say this, but I wish they had found a stomach tumor. I so so wish that the doctor had gone down into my stomach with his scope and found a huge tumor. Then I would finally have a reason for all the issues I have been having. I would have a justification.
If it would have been cancerous then my friends and family would finally take me serious. The C word is a magical word for creating kinds and compassion in people. People will go out of their way to show how much they care. Instead I was told I have a little pre-ulcer, H.Pylori and celiac biopsies were negative. The doc didn't say if this pre ulcer could be causing all of my issues. As of today Ill be taking omeprazole twice daily, against my wishes but if it works....ill be a happy camper.

Its been so frustrating. So frustrating. I have no idea what path I need to pursue. Im tired of feeling dramatic and Im tired of feeling like i am starving. I want to look at food and think good things, not gag before I ever even take a bite.

I had a nice week the week before last. My family and I went out of town, away from all forms of communication and into the land of buffets and weight gain.
I ate whatever I wanted, I decided to not worry about it. I was fine (more less, not normal but miles better than before). I ate all sorts of junk food, no worries. I ate healthy food, again no worries. I drank things besides water like lemonade, fine.
I burped a lot, water even makes me burp. But other than that no stomach pain of any significance.
I couldn't believe it, but I was extremely grateful. When I got home I weighed myself, no weight gained. Oh well I thought.
I figured maybe the de-stressing allowed my body to get out of fight or flight mode and relax, plus i was taking sucralfate so i thought maybe it was finally kicking in.

A few days after getting home everything returned, it hasn't reached the severity it was at before the trip but the potential is there. I don't get it. I wasn't stressed. I have nothing to be stressed about, work has been great, school is out, all is well at home. I don't know what could be causing the stress.

I did have some stressful things happen this weekend which did make it worse, but my issues had already started coming back long before anything stressful happened.

So here I am. Frustrated, me and my pre ulcer. I don't know what ill do next. I have no idea what I even want to do, I keep pushing myself to see the school therapist. Maybe this week will be the week I can get myself to do that.