Forgot to Sleep

Sleeping 

I’m told is very important for physical and mental health. Honestly I’m just living on faith that that’s true the truth. Insomnia, what can I say, I’ve NOT slept more in my life than I have slept. Just is what it is. Haven’t figured out the magic code for that one yet. Recently I asked my doctor to let me try a sleeping drug again to see if I could find some relief. In the past I’ve had ambien and restoril, with rather lacking results. That was probably three years ago. This time she gave me Lunesta! 

Much to my dismay, the green Lunamoth from the commercial isn’t real. I took the drug two nights in a row. She told me my dose was a higher one because of my history with lackluster results with prescriptions. It actually helped me sleep! First time for everything! Now this is where a regular person would cheer and say whoohoo the medicine works! But. I ain’t a regular person. Did I sleep better ?? Sure did. Did I feel better? Oh no. No no. I was completely zombiefied the next day both days. It made me depressed and just completely brain dead. 

Needless to say...I’ve already taken a hiatus from the new drug. Unfortunately I feel and function better on no sleep than I do with sleep(induced by meds). One day when I don’t have anything to worry about the following day, I’m going to give a 1/2 or 1/4 dose a shot to see if that gives me fewer  side effects. I don’t even like taking prescriptions, but it would be so nice just to have something to rescue me on one of those *extra* bad nights when I’m still 1000% wide awake at 5:00am. It happens!! 

For those of you in the crowd wondering, and yes there’s always one of you out there to ask me this question. Yes I have tried melatonin. No it didn’t work. Yes I tried taking more or taking less. I didn’t sleep earlier or harder, it just made me more tired the next day. 

The last two nights for me have been borderline tragic. I don’t know if I would say I’ve even slept, just dozed. The next day always feels like a continuation of the day before...I hate those days.

The strange part is how okay it is though, I have the same amount of energy as normal. Maybe a little less, and certainly less brain power. But I’ve aced tests in school on 0% sleep. So that should tell you how active my brain will stay even in the most sleep deprived of states. 

Honestly I think I if I slept like a normal human being I would have the energy to do things like exercise and exert energy. Wouldn’t shock me at all if my chronic always awakeness was contributing to the cause of me not being able to exert myself.

This weeks sleep, er lack of sleep, has led me to beginning to feel ill. This evening I had a headache and my sinuses acting up. Oh dear. Just what I need, a sinus bug! The ibuprofen took care of the headache. I’m hoping my vitamins and natural antibiotics knock out any possible infection. I just don’t want to get sick! No no no! 

Normally I stay on a low dose of a natural antibiotic called Biocidin. I keep on it as it’s a good anti strep anti fungal, two things I struggle with. Well two days ago I had the bright idea that maybe this Biocidin was possibly causing me to feel worse. Maybe it was stirring up to much in my system. So I said hey, I don’t take that much anyway I’m going to take a break. The last two days that I’ve been off the supplement, I’ve felt fairly good. I’ve had some more energy and stamina. This evening though, I decided it wasn’t worth getting sick so I restarted the med. I’m hoping that I caught it in time, if I ever get strep my psychological state sufferers. It has been suffering today like it does when I get exposed to strep. For whatever reason, something that I’ve noticed that will happen is I’ll get intrusive scary thoughts, like imagining myself getting hit by another car running through an intersection. I recognize that this isn’t normal and it isn’t exactly my normal either...thought I’ve had intrusive thoughts many times even for long periods. It mostly disappeared after I treated strep several months back. 

Now...I just gotta catch up and make sure nothing can take hold! I prefer my head on my shoulders rather than up there in the fluffy clouds.  

I started 5 drops of Biocidin, 1 teaspoon of vitamin C powder, 10,000 IU of Vit D, and a fair dose of vitamin A. Plus I gargled some salt water. 

If I could get some sleep I think this bug wouldn’t have a chance !! So tonight, I’m praying for some zzz’s!!