Head Above Water

The Song
Avril Lavigne has written a song that has recently become the anthem of my life. When she released Head Above Water a few weeks ago I fell in love instantly. I was a fan of hers pre my lyme and pre her lyme.
When she contracted Lyme a few years back and had the interview where she busted out in tears, I knew that she "got it". It was obvious that being sick struck a chord, which lead to her fighting back. I cannot help but admire her fighting spirit! She isn't a victim, she's out there helping victims. Thats not the most common feature found in the lyme community. Often lyme sufferers are left lacking support.  There are very few foundations and fundraisers to help spread awareness and give support to those in need. But Avril seems to be putting in an effort to bring Lyme out of the shadows and make it public.

The new song Head Above Water was very inspirational for me to hear. Its one of those songs that manages to pull some of those fighting emotions out, along with a few tears. The song is so sincere and visceral. " Yeah my life is what I'm fighting for, I don't want less I don't want more"....This line alone is a prayer I have prayed many nights, asking God to just give me my life to live to take me out of my misery.
"God keep my head above water"...I think drowning fits the feeling most of us with chronic illness feel. I know I have used the word drowning many times on this blog.
"Im too young to fall asleep"...I think this line says it all for itself. I was young when I became ill. I was about 13-14 when I came to grips with dying sooner rather than later. I was sure that my body was slowly giving out. When I was 15 I really bottomed out and I thought (also read hoped)that I was coming closer to the end. Even today some days I feel almost feeble. I can go from being active and happy to weak and confused. Some days I feel like gravity is causing my entire body to cave in.
All through it though, I have asked God that if meant to be, that I live longer and that my illness serve a purpose to others and that I waste nothing.

As you can see this song means a ton to me. It resonated very deeply with how Ive personally felt.
I have shared this song with everyone I can think of, even teachers at school!
It accurately displays how i've felt throughout my journey of chronic illness, thats for sure. Asking God to pull me up from the depths has probably been a daily prayer for years now.

If you haven't heard the song, I highly recommend it!