Reflecting on The Waves

Reflecting on a Week of Changes
This week has been a unique time in my life. One, because some things in my work/personal life are changing. Two, because I am headed back to Kansas this weekend. Heading to Kansas is always a guarantee that my life will change, I go in feeling one way and come out on the other side feeling different (usually worn out). Then weeks and months later my life continues to change.

Ill start elaborating. Personal life-
An amazing coworker of mine, that is a cross between a mom and a best friend to me, is leaving our office to move to Virginia. This woman came in only a year ago, and cleaned house. She changed our entire work environment. She streamlined all of our systems, wrote protocols, held people accountable, increased business, and most importantly brought a smile to everyones face.
It is nothing short of a God send that this woman was placed in our office and our lives. She managed to remove all of the toxic personalities from our office and environment, so all this posts from the last two years or so about issues with coworkers-she solved six months ago. Thanks to her, I am able to go to work and enjoy it. My heart is back in it, life is good. I also gained confidence and value in myself, I have been shown how much I am worth to the business. I have held the position of professional multitasker for four years now, thanks to this woman my benefit has been recognized and I can see a higher value in myself in the office.
The amount of smiling patients that come into our office has increased, many came by today or this week to say goodbye We even had a surprise party earlier in the week and managed to surprise her, I was honored to be a big part of that. I like making sure people feel special, I think that day we all did a good job.
This person has actually been special enough to me, that today I gave her a link to this blog as a going away present. For those of you who have been reading for a long time, you know that this blog is a very secret safe haven of mine, that I have only given to a small handful of people. The first being a coworker last year, then E and one other girl friend of mine, and now this coworker. Thats only 4 people (unless I forgot someone).

Personal life Pt. 2
I have been thinking lately on how much my life has been on a continuously changing spin cycle for the last few years, especially since the strep infection in my brain. The anxiety and depression has subsided substantially since March. Looking back into October 2018, anxiety was hitting an all time high and I was collapsing. I was scared big time and answers were scarce. I wanted to crawl out of my skin, so many nights I was awake in bed praying that I could just stand up right out of my body and leave it behind. My body and I are on better speaking terms, it still has some catching up to do, but I thank God every day today for the body I have been given. The good, the bad, and the ugly. A few years back I had zero understanding of anxiety, now I get it.

Ya know, they don't say you "get it" until you GET IT. Thankfully, I GET IT now. I understand.

Anxiety is a complete and total change in mental capacity and functions, immediately. Sometimes its triggered and sometimes its a surprise. Ive had a few minor surprises lately with it, but all very minor and all very related to staying up too late or not sleeping. A year ago I couldn't stand to be in my own skin, good day or bad. I wanted out. It didnt feel right.
Two years ago I remember having plenty of vegetable moments, all too often just being too tired to do much. Hobbies weren't in the picture. Depression was made, and anxiety showed up.
Three years ago, I was only a few months into treatment with my doctor, and that was my first taste of feeling human again. Depression was frequent but not severe, anxiety was very mild or maybe non existent (I would have to check my notes).
Six years ago, I had to take time off school because I just couldn't function.
Seven years ago I had to recognize that my life had changed, from an event the year prior, and I would have to recognize my new life style of feeling unwell all the time "for no reason". All sports were dropped and any activity I could live without was left to the dust and never thought of as a possibility. Life had changed and the future was a scary place.

The future is happening, life has been ever changing. More scary changes than I care to think about, but all the changes have led to the person I have become. In the last few months, since my last visit to Kansas, I have come to appreciate the man I am becoming. I am flawed, my body is faulty, things still scare me, sometimes I dont know what Im doing. But this is the life God gave me, it wasn't an accident, it all has a purpose for his glory. Ive made it this far, if I was doing something that wrong God would have taken me out of the picture. I will be here to serve my purpose until God decides my time has come.

Personal Life Pt. 3
I have removed a lot of toxic people from my life in the last few months. I used to fear that I was being antisocial, and that I should be conforming to other peoples quirks and habits otherwise I was doing something wrong. Now I am realizing that those behaviors put me in situations that allowed me to be walked on and taken advantage of, and a lot of those "friends" may serve me better from a distance rather than on my speed dial. Some of these friends have known me for  along time, they may come back around and this may be a temporary change, or it may be time to forget about them. My "best" friend that I used to mention on a frequent basis has been MIA from my life since February. One day he didn't text me back, and I never heard from him again. Very long story short, I sent him an email asking for forgiveness for whatever I may have done, and I apologized for some of my own faults that I knew bothered him. That was the end of that. Sending that email hurt, I had to pour a lot of emotion and thought into it and I knew in my heart that nothing would come of it physically. I knew no matter what I said, was he going to respond. God has given me very strong intuition in my life, sometimes I "just know". But I said my piece, I put it out there, I got it all of my  chest, I asked for forgiveness, I asked God to forgive me for my mistakes-known and unknown.
After this event my life began to clear in a way, I started getting him off my mind. It hurt. It burned. Intuition says its not over and come the end of this year I need to be prepared for something, what that is-I dont know. I just know I should take note of what my intuition said.
I removed 90% of the things that kept my life anchored to this person in anyway, which consisted of deleting pictures from my phone, texts, and taking of the friendship ring that he gave me. One day I will dump that last 10%, which will be when I delete all of the pictures and messages, throw the ring away (turns out it cost like $10 on eBay, I found where he bought it on the first search, he probably put very little thought into it and it probably isn't worth keeping in my drawer), and take the one last picture off my dresser. Its just hard for me to part with memories that during a hard part of my life, brought me a lot of joy and relief from some painful realities. I havent decided if its intuition telling me to hold onto these things a little longer, or just sentiment.

This isn't the only friend Ive had incidence with this year, probably the most dramatic. One "best" friend started dating another " best" friend, then the two of them starting treating myself and others rather poorly. Another "great" friend of mine started dating a new guy, then said new guy got a bit handsy with the girls cousin in the pool. "Great" friend says it didnt happen, cousin gets upset. Lo and Behold, house divided on a rather serious matter there. I voiced my opinion and stepped out of the picture. Anyway, ill stop there with the drama, drama doesn't need to seem like its being glorified.
This year, I realized how much healthier and happier I was when I didnt go out with friends or spend an evening with certain people. I noticed that I was happier stressing over car parts, than I was being caught in drama which began to seem endless. Maybe right now I am feeling a bit antisocial and I am being a bit snobby about what quality of people I want to spend my time around. I think it may be time I start treating my social life with a little more respect, even if it means staying home and not being social.

Lyme-
I guess I could mention a little bit about the topic that gave me the reason to write my blog. Life is going well in the disease department. Sleep has struggled painfully this week, but I have had a lot on my mind. I have had some extremely severe leg cramps all day everyday for the last several days which have made it painful to walk, I'm blaming this on working on my car. Fatigue and motivation are a bit of a struggle, probably related to sleeping.
If I could sleep well, and wake up early, then maintain a consistent schedule indefinitely, I think my symptoms would continuously improve. The one thing that  does remain a struggle is my personality, I still do not feel like im as "awake" as I was pre strep, sometimes it is still very difficult to talk. My brain just stays at flatline. I used to talk a lot more and joke around a lot and everyone thought I was hilarious (which is still there, but not at all like before. I used to keep track of my jokes I had so many). Its coming back, maybe after this coming visit to Kansas this will begin to take a large turn for the best. Im praying for my body as an entirety to heal and function properly (not just function "enough"), Im praying that my brain fog will be lifted, that I will feel completely like myself again and not just a "part" of myself that survived a war, and Im praying that I will be given the energy and stamina to feel GREAT after this coming week all the way through the school year (or further). Last time, my doctor told me I had near miraculous results with how quickly and significantly my test results improved for the better. I am praying that this will be gloriously repeated.

How am I doing on making up for the lost time I was in hiatus?? I told you, thoughts are in there!!

Autism and Lyme Disease

Earlier today I shared this blog on G+. This is an amazing blog written by a mother whose two children developed autism. She had to rise above the standard medical system, which has no cure for autism, to save her two children from a life long tether to prescriptions.

This mother, Jessica, successfully treated her two boys. I bet you have never even heard of anything like this! She was able to completely reverse autism in both of her children, using natural methods.
You have to check this out. Not everyone understands the cause of autism, or that it can be reversed when treated correctly. She goes deep into the cause of their cases, which included heavy metal toxicity and food allergies.

The reason I am sharing this with you is because the natural treatment of autism is fairly similar to how lyme disease is treated.
The point is to remove what is blocking your body from healing, heavy metals, allergic foods, toxic foods, etc.
When you take away the reason your body cannot heal, it can begin to repair itself. That is when we can achieve optimum health. On paper it is that simple, by removing the cause, the symptom will also be removed. Its practicing your own specific protocol that will lead to healing. We are all  toxic from different pollutants, everyone is their own individual when it comes to health.

Their treatment involved parasite cleanses, hair tests for heavy metals, stool tests to check gut bacteria, and herbs along with vitamins to help their bodies heal.
I have done all of this actually for my lyme treatment! I have already posted about my chelation journey, Jessica is where is learned about the method I used.

At some point in the future I will post some of the other tests I have done along with nearly all of the supplements I have taken up to this point. I have had neurotransmitter tests, stool tests, liver and kidney, genetic tests, allergy panels, etc.

She used all of these same things on her children. Another thing that worked well for both of us was homeopathy. I had great results when I was taking ledum palustre, it just didn't last for me and I couldn't find an alternative. One day I will get back into this.

Jessica also had her children tested for lyme disease, which has been found to be fairly common in autistic people. She writes about this on her blog, I guess you will just have to read it to find out more...

My Views on Lyme Treatment

     I have to be honest, I am not a fan of conventional lyme treatment. I do not believe finding a doctor to prescribe antibiotics will lead to everyone being cured or reach remission from lyme disease. The literal meaning of antibiotic is "anti-life". It doesn't make sense to me, kill bacteria and be healed...Too good to be true??

     I believe the best way to treat any disease is holistically. Holistic healing is when all systems of the body are addressed. Usually diet modification is one of the first steps. Avoiding all processed sugars, synthetic chemicals, GMO foods, and hydrogenated fat is paramount. Our bodies have to work extra hard to process these "foods" because they were not designed to break down and remove such loads of toxins.

    How can our bodies fight an infection if it is too busy trying to process a massive sugar overload? The answer is-not well. I know, I know, we all know that person who can eat whatever they want and do whatever they want without ever getting fat, sick, or bogged down. Don't assume you are one of those people. If you have lyme disease like me, you aren't one of those people (you wouldn't be sick).

     According to Medicine.net each American consumes 29 pounds of ADDED sugar each year. This is not counting the natural sugar from fruits and vegetables, only the processed, refined sugar. That is huge! Refined sugar lowers our immune system. Therefore eliminating it, in theory, would boost the immune system right?  Shouldn't this be step one of the first-line treatments for illness? It is fairly simple in my book. LLMD's are not easy to come by, and remember it is the treatment they provide that assist in healing the body. The act of visiting a doctor and sitting in his/her presence will not cure a disease or put it in remission.

     My philosophy is to boost the body's' natural ability to heal itself. Our bodies are built from vitamins, proteins and minerals, not antibiotics, pain relievers, or synthetic chemicals. To boost the immune system our bodies need to have the natural building blocks to create immune cells and repair damaged cells.
Without proper nutrition from a healthy diet, the body cannot rebuild itself. Building blocks cannot be pulled out of thin air, they must be consumed in some way.
No synthetic chemical-MSG, aspartame, antibiotics, synthetic vitamins, sodium benzoate, etc will build your immune system or rebuild the body.

     So why do so many of us go straight to a chemical for a fix? If you get a headache what do you reach for? Man made chemical most likely. There is a cause for the headache, and it isn't your body crying out for a synthetic pain reliever. Headaches, from a conventional viewpoint, have several known causes but few known cures. On the other hand, a holistic doctor is going to look for a cause. If the irritant is found and removed, the headaches will be gone. When the cause is taken away, the symptom cannot not happen. It really is that simple.

     When I started researching self-treatment of Lyme Disease, a few things jumped out at me. One was that many people decide to go gluten free, and another was the wide use of herbs. Both of these have an impressive track record for improving symptoms. It turns out gluten is pro-inflammatory, just like borrelia burgdorferi bacteria. Inflammation is what causes our joints to hurt (just to name one symptom). By consuming gluten we are adding insult to injury. Literally!

     When the pro-inflammatory gluten is removed from our diet, inflammation will decrease. Less inflammation will equal less pain. Imagine that. Removing one simple food item can change the expression of symptoms. Imagine how our bodies would react to removing all synthetic chemicals, processed/nutrient lacking food, and heavy metals that poison our bodies. The immune system would be able to work correctly.
Remember that next time you take a pill.

    Then there are the herbs. Several of the most popular herbs for treating tick borne infection are anti-inflammatory. Resveratrol is an example of a strong anti-inflammatory. These herbs remove some of the inflammation our stressed bodies produce, how many antibiotics do that? On top of being anti-inflammatory herbs can also be immune modulating. Immune modulating herbs change which immune cells are created. Our immune systems create immune cells for acute infections and chronic infections. The immune system will quickly become overloaded  if it tries to kill a chronic infection with acute immune cells. The immune modulating herbs help our bodies adjust to the correct expression.

     Single herbs have more than single benefits. The herb resveratrol, for example, is used as an anti-inflammatory, immune booster, and strong anti-oxidant. I don't know of any single antibiotic that can do all of that. Anti-biotics are made to kill bacteria. They cannot help the body rebuild damaged tissue or re-balance the sleep/wake cycle. By default, however, symptoms will improve when the bacteria are killed (the cause is depleted). In Lyme disease patients, myself included, go through months of antibiotic treatment and experience an increase in symptoms. When the bacteria are killed they release neuro-toxins that, if allowed to build up in the system, increase the symptoms. This is referred to as a herxenheimer reaction.

     There is no prescription drug for a herx reaction. Natural therapies actually provide dozens of remedies. N-Acetyl-cysteine, alpha lipoic acid, and glutathione reduce toxic build up in the liver, for an example.
The liver has to process everything that goes through our bodies, food, drugs, herbs, everything. If the liver cannot keep up, the organs before and after it become stressed. This would be the stomach, kidneys, gallbladder, and skin(primarily). Taking a look at chronically ill people it is common to find patients who no longer have a gallbladder. Instead of preventing the organ from becoming over stressed and toxic in the first place, it was just surgically removed after it was too late.

     Holistic methods treat all of the body systems. When used correctly, the detox organs are supported to aid in removing wastes, the immune system is aided by adding herbs that assist in killing bacteria, and diet is changed to provide maximum nutrition. Once the body is able to "catch up" the immune system will be able to adequately kill bacteria once again. I personally do not know of any conventional treatment method that can provide this type of restorative therapy.

Anyway, this is my rant about why we shouldn't rely on one method to achieve relief from Lyme disease. In the future I will post more on my diet and the reasons I eat the foods I eat.