Looks Like I Have Been More Quiet Than I Thought
I am happy to report that no news, is in fact good news! I have been feeling well and staying active!
This last year, especially since post-December 2019 or so, I have felt like my body is not longer struggling like it used to.
Bad days are much more rare than before, I rarely have much pain at all, my sleep is pretty good but most of all consistent.
Sleeping better has made all the difference of course, but getting in the sauna, taking some supplements for autoimmune, and spending time de-stressing has really kept my body steady rather than the traditional ups and downs of "how am I going to feel today".
I go to the gym 3-5 times a week for most weeks, except for a couple of exceptions here and there. I have actually started making strong progress in the gym (at least for my body type). A few months ago I started seeing a personal trainer once a week at my gym, it wasn't vey expensive and I knew it would be a good way to keep myself motivated. Over the last two or so months the trainer has started to get rather impressed with my progress, last week he told me I was making better progress than a lot of the guys he's training around my age. Today I was pushing myself a little extra hard, and part way through the session he just looked at me and said "I think you've now surpassed everyone else. Its a close match between you and one other, but I think you are gaining quicker than my other clients at this point."
That made me excited to hear, because I have been going to the gym for a year and a half or so at this point, and I have made progress and gotten stronger. But now I am feeling well all the time and can count on planning ahead and feeling well for that time I have planned. I want to use part of it to go to the gym, I feel great afterwards and if anything I feel accomplished. Over the last four or so weeks I have really pushed going 4-5 times a week even if it is no longer than 30 minutes, so for him to notice the difference...it made me feel like I really was working hard.
The nice part about this trainer is he is my age and also built super skinny like myself, he is also one that would be considered a "slow gainer". So he notices the progress in a different light compared to the types of guys who can build muscle by looking at a rack of weights.
Kansas
I go back to my lyme doctor next month, its more for maintenance at this point. I could probably survive just fine without it. But due to my school schedule and whatnot, its easier to go ahead and take care of myself when it wont be a stress rather than wait for something to head south.
In total, that will be just two visits with my lyme doc this year. Next year the goal is to go once, maybe twice (again there is a lot to consider). Next year I will hopefully be going to graduate school, so depending on how I handle that will probably determine my outcome more than anything else. I think I will be alright, my spring semester of classes this previous semester was very rough. Very stressful for me, but I recovered and it was not so bad after it ended.
In the past it was hard for my body and mind to recover after a series of long stressful events. For me, chemistry class was a long stressful event.
Ongoing Symptoms
I would say Im pretty much symptom free. I can still feel the full moon sometimes, usually ill feel a lack of motivation and maybe even depression. I would say on and off depression is still my worst symptom. The severity is low but it is something that hangs on here and there, I will have a few weeks or months where life is good and its not really a problem. Then I will have a few weeks or months where it is a problem. Its usually tolerable to deal with, could certainly be worse. The lack of motivation and satisfaction is the worst for me.
Pain is pretty much gone 99% of the time, sleep is better, focus is better, mood is better (and more stable), my ability to handle stress is better, anxiety is 99% gone except for occasions (but at that it never matches what it has in the past), OCD is still around on occasion (but again nothing like it once was). Truthfully, Im doing very well and I have a lot to be thankful for.
Stress Reduction
In school, my most favorite teacher ever, taught use this last semester an amazing way of dealing with and dissolving stress. In the beginning of every class we allllll had to pull out a sheet of paper, date it, and just start writing everything on our mind. Good, bad, whatever.
Then after a minute or two, we stop then write things we are grateful for. Again just for a minute or two. Usually starting with the basics, food, a job, friends, a car, a safe home, etc. then moving on into more complicated or more specific things.
Then stop, and write another paragraph or so of whats on our mind. And go through that rotation a few times.
It made every day brighter, so I have tried my best to incorporate that into my weekly life, it was part of my daily life but I find it difficult to do the same tasks every single day. And I do not always need to decompress like that.
I highly recommend it!! Go try it, I know you're thinking about it. Say it with me, I am grateful for......
Showing posts with label kansas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kansas. Show all posts
Monday, July 13, 2020
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Kansas 2020
Last week I was back in Kansas!
At this point this has become rather a routine, we check in and speak to everyone and talk for a while. Then at some point we go back and see the doctor. Our rental car this time is a bright orange Jeep Wrangler, which is exactly what my doctor drives except his isn't as bright of a... traffic cone orange.
Day 1
The doctor went over all my many test results and overall was very impressed, I did not really lose any progress since I was last there seven months ago which is a very big deal. Only one thing was a concern on my blood work, my liver enzymes were elevated by a lot, he gave me a few things to take and in a month I will get those rechecked back at home. We could not figure out why my liver could have changed so much. He said my kidneys look perfect for the first time ever, he said for someone with chronic illness to have normal kidney results, is a big deal and its a sign my body is getting back to normal. When the kidneys do not have to over work to maintain baseline minimum, its a good sign!
My thyroid also looked great. No issues there. After looking at everything he focused on my gut issues, my liver, and a few other things for the week. I had a few odd things out of my usual pattern show up on my blood work that we are going to try to figure out. Overall I am setup for great improvement, through the "grading system" that he has me use to track my symptoms and severity, I need my number to be 50 or lower. Last time it was 80 something, this time it was 68. He said this means I am getting closer to being done with coming to the clinic! The lower the number the better.
Day 2
Today the doctor talked to me more about my blood test results. He said due to the recent viral outbreak the lab has released some webinars for the doctors to watch on recognizing viral infections (as a whole), he gave me a list of things that are typically altered when one is sick with a virus. Then he told me the list of things that were off on my blood test, guess what they matched. I had the blood draw on the day I got sick with a virus last week, so he further confirmed that the odd things on my tests were probably due to a viral infection, even the liver enzymes. Considering I no longer have a viral infection, this is all good news.
He worked on inflammation, a fungal issue showing up, and some gut things to further remediate the issues with my body. As a whole he is still pretty happy with how my tests are turning out!
Day 3+4
Yesterday the doctor spent time checking out why my body had so much inflammation, he gave me something to take for inflammation and specifically inflammation in my gut. He's balanced out sensitivities towards mold and some other environmental pollutants that I could come into contact with.
Today he mainly focused on my gut, for several months I had been eating a lot more and gaining weight. In the last month that has gone away and Im back to not eating except what I have to. He's really focusing on trying to fix that. He added in a few things for my gut, interestingly the stuff he gave me isn't necessarily digestion boosters like digestive enzymes. The supplements are for my gallbladder and for preventing my body from producing too much leptin (hunger suppressing hormone). So the eating issue appears to be partly a hormonal issue rather than a diet or a malfunction. Learn something new every day.
He went over my updated test results for today, and for the most part my body is working better. The body systems he's trying to support and improve the function of, were reflected in the results-meaning treatment is working as planned.
He told me today, that we had to treat parasites for so long, there would be some gut problems to clean up after. Well the parasites are gone and have been gone, this is the cleanup of the aftermath. After that, he doesn't think there will be anything or much left wrong that I will need treated for!
Day 5
The final day was short and simple as usual, he did some more work for my gut and added another couple supplements. He adjusted my spine so I could be prepared for the flight home, and we socialized for a little bit talking about alternative medicine things as a whole. I like getting his perspective on things and seeing what his experience is with different supplements. Last year we took a family trip to Hawaii (sounds great right?) and the flight there (10hrs) completely wore me out for the whole time we were there and I didnt really enjoy it because I was running on empty the whole time. He suggested that I try a megadose of glutathione before going on a big trip and continue to take it during the trip. He said he does the same and he holds up well.
So, for now I am on a whole new set of supplements! Making progress and creating positive changes. My body is thankfully (for the most part LOL) not what it used to be! Things are starting to work like they are supposed to and I am becoming more and more human.
I have a few more things to write but for now, I think this covers the biggest changes!
Friday, July 26, 2019
Reflecting on The Waves
Reflecting on a Week of Changes
This week has been a unique time in my life. One, because some things in my work/personal life are changing. Two, because I am headed back to Kansas this weekend. Heading to Kansas is always a guarantee that my life will change, I go in feeling one way and come out on the other side feeling different (usually worn out). Then weeks and months later my life continues to change.
Ill start elaborating. Personal life-
An amazing coworker of mine, that is a cross between a mom and a best friend to me, is leaving our office to move to Virginia. This woman came in only a year ago, and cleaned house. She changed our entire work environment. She streamlined all of our systems, wrote protocols, held people accountable, increased business, and most importantly brought a smile to everyones face.
It is nothing short of a God send that this woman was placed in our office and our lives. She managed to remove all of the toxic personalities from our office and environment, so all this posts from the last two years or so about issues with coworkers-she solved six months ago. Thanks to her, I am able to go to work and enjoy it. My heart is back in it, life is good. I also gained confidence and value in myself, I have been shown how much I am worth to the business. I have held the position of professional multitasker for four years now, thanks to this woman my benefit has been recognized and I can see a higher value in myself in the office.
The amount of smiling patients that come into our office has increased, many came by today or this week to say goodbye We even had a surprise party earlier in the week and managed to surprise her, I was honored to be a big part of that. I like making sure people feel special, I think that day we all did a good job.
This person has actually been special enough to me, that today I gave her a link to this blog as a going away present. For those of you who have been reading for a long time, you know that this blog is a very secret safe haven of mine, that I have only given to a small handful of people. The first being a coworker last year, then E and one other girl friend of mine, and now this coworker. Thats only 4 people (unless I forgot someone).
Personal life Pt. 2
I have been thinking lately on how much my life has been on a continuously changing spin cycle for the last few years, especially since the strep infection in my brain. The anxiety and depression has subsided substantially since March. Looking back into October 2018, anxiety was hitting an all time high and I was collapsing. I was scared big time and answers were scarce. I wanted to crawl out of my skin, so many nights I was awake in bed praying that I could just stand up right out of my body and leave it behind. My body and I are on better speaking terms, it still has some catching up to do, but I thank God every day today for the body I have been given. The good, the bad, and the ugly. A few years back I had zero understanding of anxiety, now I get it.
Ya know, they don't say you "get it" until you GET IT. Thankfully, I GET IT now. I understand.
Anxiety is a complete and total change in mental capacity and functions, immediately. Sometimes its triggered and sometimes its a surprise. Ive had a few minor surprises lately with it, but all very minor and all very related to staying up too late or not sleeping. A year ago I couldn't stand to be in my own skin, good day or bad. I wanted out. It didnt feel right.
Two years ago I remember having plenty of vegetable moments, all too often just being too tired to do much. Hobbies weren't in the picture. Depression was made, and anxiety showed up.
Three years ago, I was only a few months into treatment with my doctor, and that was my first taste of feeling human again. Depression was frequent but not severe, anxiety was very mild or maybe non existent (I would have to check my notes).
Six years ago, I had to take time off school because I just couldn't function.
Seven years ago I had to recognize that my life had changed, from an event the year prior, and I would have to recognize my new life style of feeling unwell all the time "for no reason". All sports were dropped and any activity I could live without was left to the dust and never thought of as a possibility. Life had changed and the future was a scary place.
The future is happening, life has been ever changing. More scary changes than I care to think about, but all the changes have led to the person I have become. In the last few months, since my last visit to Kansas, I have come to appreciate the man I am becoming. I am flawed, my body is faulty, things still scare me, sometimes I dont know what Im doing. But this is the life God gave me, it wasn't an accident, it all has a purpose for his glory. Ive made it this far, if I was doing something that wrong God would have taken me out of the picture. I will be here to serve my purpose until God decides my time has come.
Personal Life Pt. 3
I have removed a lot of toxic people from my life in the last few months. I used to fear that I was being antisocial, and that I should be conforming to other peoples quirks and habits otherwise I was doing something wrong. Now I am realizing that those behaviors put me in situations that allowed me to be walked on and taken advantage of, and a lot of those "friends" may serve me better from a distance rather than on my speed dial. Some of these friends have known me for along time, they may come back around and this may be a temporary change, or it may be time to forget about them. My "best" friend that I used to mention on a frequent basis has been MIA from my life since February. One day he didn't text me back, and I never heard from him again. Very long story short, I sent him an email asking for forgiveness for whatever I may have done, and I apologized for some of my own faults that I knew bothered him. That was the end of that. Sending that email hurt, I had to pour a lot of emotion and thought into it and I knew in my heart that nothing would come of it physically. I knew no matter what I said, was he going to respond. God has given me very strong intuition in my life, sometimes I "just know". But I said my piece, I put it out there, I got it all of my chest, I asked for forgiveness, I asked God to forgive me for my mistakes-known and unknown.
After this event my life began to clear in a way, I started getting him off my mind. It hurt. It burned. Intuition says its not over and come the end of this year I need to be prepared for something, what that is-I dont know. I just know I should take note of what my intuition said.
I removed 90% of the things that kept my life anchored to this person in anyway, which consisted of deleting pictures from my phone, texts, and taking of the friendship ring that he gave me. One day I will dump that last 10%, which will be when I delete all of the pictures and messages, throw the ring away (turns out it cost like $10 on eBay, I found where he bought it on the first search, he probably put very little thought into it and it probably isn't worth keeping in my drawer), and take the one last picture off my dresser. Its just hard for me to part with memories that during a hard part of my life, brought me a lot of joy and relief from some painful realities. I havent decided if its intuition telling me to hold onto these things a little longer, or just sentiment.
This isn't the only friend Ive had incidence with this year, probably the most dramatic. One "best" friend started dating another " best" friend, then the two of them starting treating myself and others rather poorly. Another "great" friend of mine started dating a new guy, then said new guy got a bit handsy with the girls cousin in the pool. "Great" friend says it didnt happen, cousin gets upset. Lo and Behold, house divided on a rather serious matter there. I voiced my opinion and stepped out of the picture. Anyway, ill stop there with the drama, drama doesn't need to seem like its being glorified.
This year, I realized how much healthier and happier I was when I didnt go out with friends or spend an evening with certain people. I noticed that I was happier stressing over car parts, than I was being caught in drama which began to seem endless. Maybe right now I am feeling a bit antisocial and I am being a bit snobby about what quality of people I want to spend my time around. I think it may be time I start treating my social life with a little more respect, even if it means staying home and not being social.
Lyme-
I guess I could mention a little bit about the topic that gave me the reason to write my blog. Life is going well in the disease department. Sleep has struggled painfully this week, but I have had a lot on my mind. I have had some extremely severe leg cramps all day everyday for the last several days which have made it painful to walk, I'm blaming this on working on my car. Fatigue and motivation are a bit of a struggle, probably related to sleeping.
If I could sleep well, and wake up early, then maintain a consistent schedule indefinitely, I think my symptoms would continuously improve. The one thing that does remain a struggle is my personality, I still do not feel like im as "awake" as I was pre strep, sometimes it is still very difficult to talk. My brain just stays at flatline. I used to talk a lot more and joke around a lot and everyone thought I was hilarious (which is still there, but not at all like before. I used to keep track of my jokes I had so many). Its coming back, maybe after this coming visit to Kansas this will begin to take a large turn for the best. Im praying for my body as an entirety to heal and function properly (not just function "enough"), Im praying that my brain fog will be lifted, that I will feel completely like myself again and not just a "part" of myself that survived a war, and Im praying that I will be given the energy and stamina to feel GREAT after this coming week all the way through the school year (or further). Last time, my doctor told me I had near miraculous results with how quickly and significantly my test results improved for the better. I am praying that this will be gloriously repeated.
How am I doing on making up for the lost time I was in hiatus?? I told you, thoughts are in there!!
This week has been a unique time in my life. One, because some things in my work/personal life are changing. Two, because I am headed back to Kansas this weekend. Heading to Kansas is always a guarantee that my life will change, I go in feeling one way and come out on the other side feeling different (usually worn out). Then weeks and months later my life continues to change.
Ill start elaborating. Personal life-
An amazing coworker of mine, that is a cross between a mom and a best friend to me, is leaving our office to move to Virginia. This woman came in only a year ago, and cleaned house. She changed our entire work environment. She streamlined all of our systems, wrote protocols, held people accountable, increased business, and most importantly brought a smile to everyones face.
It is nothing short of a God send that this woman was placed in our office and our lives. She managed to remove all of the toxic personalities from our office and environment, so all this posts from the last two years or so about issues with coworkers-she solved six months ago. Thanks to her, I am able to go to work and enjoy it. My heart is back in it, life is good. I also gained confidence and value in myself, I have been shown how much I am worth to the business. I have held the position of professional multitasker for four years now, thanks to this woman my benefit has been recognized and I can see a higher value in myself in the office.
The amount of smiling patients that come into our office has increased, many came by today or this week to say goodbye We even had a surprise party earlier in the week and managed to surprise her, I was honored to be a big part of that. I like making sure people feel special, I think that day we all did a good job.
This person has actually been special enough to me, that today I gave her a link to this blog as a going away present. For those of you who have been reading for a long time, you know that this blog is a very secret safe haven of mine, that I have only given to a small handful of people. The first being a coworker last year, then E and one other girl friend of mine, and now this coworker. Thats only 4 people (unless I forgot someone).
Personal life Pt. 2
I have been thinking lately on how much my life has been on a continuously changing spin cycle for the last few years, especially since the strep infection in my brain. The anxiety and depression has subsided substantially since March. Looking back into October 2018, anxiety was hitting an all time high and I was collapsing. I was scared big time and answers were scarce. I wanted to crawl out of my skin, so many nights I was awake in bed praying that I could just stand up right out of my body and leave it behind. My body and I are on better speaking terms, it still has some catching up to do, but I thank God every day today for the body I have been given. The good, the bad, and the ugly. A few years back I had zero understanding of anxiety, now I get it.
Ya know, they don't say you "get it" until you GET IT. Thankfully, I GET IT now. I understand.
Anxiety is a complete and total change in mental capacity and functions, immediately. Sometimes its triggered and sometimes its a surprise. Ive had a few minor surprises lately with it, but all very minor and all very related to staying up too late or not sleeping. A year ago I couldn't stand to be in my own skin, good day or bad. I wanted out. It didnt feel right.
Two years ago I remember having plenty of vegetable moments, all too often just being too tired to do much. Hobbies weren't in the picture. Depression was made, and anxiety showed up.
Three years ago, I was only a few months into treatment with my doctor, and that was my first taste of feeling human again. Depression was frequent but not severe, anxiety was very mild or maybe non existent (I would have to check my notes).
Six years ago, I had to take time off school because I just couldn't function.
Seven years ago I had to recognize that my life had changed, from an event the year prior, and I would have to recognize my new life style of feeling unwell all the time "for no reason". All sports were dropped and any activity I could live without was left to the dust and never thought of as a possibility. Life had changed and the future was a scary place.
The future is happening, life has been ever changing. More scary changes than I care to think about, but all the changes have led to the person I have become. In the last few months, since my last visit to Kansas, I have come to appreciate the man I am becoming. I am flawed, my body is faulty, things still scare me, sometimes I dont know what Im doing. But this is the life God gave me, it wasn't an accident, it all has a purpose for his glory. Ive made it this far, if I was doing something that wrong God would have taken me out of the picture. I will be here to serve my purpose until God decides my time has come.
Personal Life Pt. 3
I have removed a lot of toxic people from my life in the last few months. I used to fear that I was being antisocial, and that I should be conforming to other peoples quirks and habits otherwise I was doing something wrong. Now I am realizing that those behaviors put me in situations that allowed me to be walked on and taken advantage of, and a lot of those "friends" may serve me better from a distance rather than on my speed dial. Some of these friends have known me for along time, they may come back around and this may be a temporary change, or it may be time to forget about them. My "best" friend that I used to mention on a frequent basis has been MIA from my life since February. One day he didn't text me back, and I never heard from him again. Very long story short, I sent him an email asking for forgiveness for whatever I may have done, and I apologized for some of my own faults that I knew bothered him. That was the end of that. Sending that email hurt, I had to pour a lot of emotion and thought into it and I knew in my heart that nothing would come of it physically. I knew no matter what I said, was he going to respond. God has given me very strong intuition in my life, sometimes I "just know". But I said my piece, I put it out there, I got it all of my chest, I asked for forgiveness, I asked God to forgive me for my mistakes-known and unknown.
After this event my life began to clear in a way, I started getting him off my mind. It hurt. It burned. Intuition says its not over and come the end of this year I need to be prepared for something, what that is-I dont know. I just know I should take note of what my intuition said.
I removed 90% of the things that kept my life anchored to this person in anyway, which consisted of deleting pictures from my phone, texts, and taking of the friendship ring that he gave me. One day I will dump that last 10%, which will be when I delete all of the pictures and messages, throw the ring away (turns out it cost like $10 on eBay, I found where he bought it on the first search, he probably put very little thought into it and it probably isn't worth keeping in my drawer), and take the one last picture off my dresser. Its just hard for me to part with memories that during a hard part of my life, brought me a lot of joy and relief from some painful realities. I havent decided if its intuition telling me to hold onto these things a little longer, or just sentiment.
This isn't the only friend Ive had incidence with this year, probably the most dramatic. One "best" friend started dating another " best" friend, then the two of them starting treating myself and others rather poorly. Another "great" friend of mine started dating a new guy, then said new guy got a bit handsy with the girls cousin in the pool. "Great" friend says it didnt happen, cousin gets upset. Lo and Behold, house divided on a rather serious matter there. I voiced my opinion and stepped out of the picture. Anyway, ill stop there with the drama, drama doesn't need to seem like its being glorified.
This year, I realized how much healthier and happier I was when I didnt go out with friends or spend an evening with certain people. I noticed that I was happier stressing over car parts, than I was being caught in drama which began to seem endless. Maybe right now I am feeling a bit antisocial and I am being a bit snobby about what quality of people I want to spend my time around. I think it may be time I start treating my social life with a little more respect, even if it means staying home and not being social.
Lyme-
I guess I could mention a little bit about the topic that gave me the reason to write my blog. Life is going well in the disease department. Sleep has struggled painfully this week, but I have had a lot on my mind. I have had some extremely severe leg cramps all day everyday for the last several days which have made it painful to walk, I'm blaming this on working on my car. Fatigue and motivation are a bit of a struggle, probably related to sleeping.
If I could sleep well, and wake up early, then maintain a consistent schedule indefinitely, I think my symptoms would continuously improve. The one thing that does remain a struggle is my personality, I still do not feel like im as "awake" as I was pre strep, sometimes it is still very difficult to talk. My brain just stays at flatline. I used to talk a lot more and joke around a lot and everyone thought I was hilarious (which is still there, but not at all like before. I used to keep track of my jokes I had so many). Its coming back, maybe after this coming visit to Kansas this will begin to take a large turn for the best. Im praying for my body as an entirety to heal and function properly (not just function "enough"), Im praying that my brain fog will be lifted, that I will feel completely like myself again and not just a "part" of myself that survived a war, and Im praying that I will be given the energy and stamina to feel GREAT after this coming week all the way through the school year (or further). Last time, my doctor told me I had near miraculous results with how quickly and significantly my test results improved for the better. I am praying that this will be gloriously repeated.
How am I doing on making up for the lost time I was in hiatus?? I told you, thoughts are in there!!
Monday, February 18, 2019
One Month Count Down
I have officially booked my next visit to see my Kansas doctor. This is the longest breaks in between visits I have ever taken since beginning treatment for Lyme. Some new things will be happening this go round.
For one, I won't be going to the Hansa Center anymore. I am going to miss that place, I thought it was one of the friendliest, warmest environments on earth. But its time for a change, my Dr. along with a few others left the clinic and moved to a new one of their own creation. Why? I don't know. I just know that even good things must come to an end and change doesn't mean for the worst. I am excited to see this new clinic and what sort of environment it has. I know the doctors have been hard at work to make their creation something to brag about and that there will be new therapies involved.
When I spoke to my doctor on the phone a while back, he told me about some of the new therapies that they will be offering. Some sound similar and some are a new idea to me altogether. I can't wait until I can report back on my progress. Unfortunately, as far as I know, the new clinic does not have a completed website. So I can't exactly share too much about the new clinic, but my doctor assured me that they will be offering next level service. Im not too worried, my doctor has gone above and beyond for me from day 1 and whenever I get frustrated he does his best to come up with a solution.
I haven't seen my doctor since the beginning of August, that'll be seven months in between doctor visits!!
Granted I had other things going on to support my system in the meantime. Like the clinic I visited in December, I'm sure that offered some benefit, though it was focused more so on brain than anything else. Plus the hyperbaric oxygen this month, but except for herbs and stuff I have put myself on I have stayed on the same protocol since August. Ive held rather steady at that. Some days I do feel miserable and I do hate the world, last week had a handful of those days. Other days I have some nice conversations with people and it all seems worth it. I try to keep my outlook positive. Not everyone gets to overcome Lyme Disease, some people dont even get to live with it. I have, through a lot of effort and tears and screaming and reading, have made it eight years. I want to be one of the ones to get rid of the disease altogether and never let my body feel this type of sick again. I plan on leaving my fragile and finicky constitution behind and rebuilding it for good.
Last week I was talking to a friend of mine who I see about every week or two, she's had lyme and fibromyalgia for a few decades now. Her and I were talking about how we feel bad for the people who aren't able to seek any treatment or who dont know whats wrong with them, then end up killing themselves out of desperation to reach freedom from the misery. We agreed that it would be nice if we could just sit up and walk right out of our body, leaving it behind. I said it would be nice if I could sell my body, then buy a new one like you would do to an old car. She advised me not to tell to many people that I think its a good idea to sell my body LOL. Turns out that one sounded better in my head than out in the real world.
But there are some nights, the usual sleepless ones where my thoughts go round and round like a broken carousel, where I do think-what if I could just leave my body. Im very grateful for the body and life ive been given, but sometimes I dont really feel like im living in my own body. Its more like sharing an apartment with a few people, each one with a different mood. Too Tired to Care is my favorite roommate, Angry for No Reason is the one I try to avoid. On the good days when I feel happy and energetic-I feel totally different. It feels like my body is my own and I can do with it what I want. I dont feel so invaded or like im sharing my body with whatever deck of cards I was dealt that day.
This last week I started something new. I, of all people, got a gym membership for the first time in my life. I can't remember the last time I seriously thought I could start exercising, even if its just walking on the treadmill. Before the strep two years ago I was beginning to exercise again, but the strep knocked that one out for me and took my brain and my personality with it. God willing, maybe we are finally starting to get closer to the end of that.
Its been a while since I've cried without provocation. I do still get set off easily and fall into depression, but it really only lasts a day or two then turns into frustration instead (or fades away altogether). It used to take days to get out of a dark place, or weeks. Maybe my next visit to the clinic will help launch my personality back into my head and out of the ditch its been sitting in. My joints haven't been in terrible pain either. My muscles do have their days, but overall minimal complaints, same with dizziness. Fatigue can still be a battle but I suspect that before long we will be able to get this turned around again.
So really, fatigue, emotions, and insomnia are what are really holding me back. I think if I could sleep, my fatigue would dissipate. Maybe even disappear altogether. My emotions may be less finicky too.
I am about to try a new sleep medicine, I am hoping that it will work. Its been a while since Ive tried a new drug for sleeping. Ill update on that when something comes of it.
I haven't been back to counseling in a few months. I got tired of telling some man about my personal issues and then being told to draw pictures. I know its good and it does help. Ive even recommended it to other people. Its just not my thing. Sometimes it feels better to think about slapping the person that caused my emotional issue (that day) rather than draw out whatever Im feeling. I mean I dont ever slap anyone. Just the thought seems a bit more fun LOL
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Finishing the Week
Im sorry I never followed up on the following visits like I usually do day to day. I just didn't feel like putting energy into writing, but I did feel very well the whole week. Pretty much for the first time ever.
Day 2!
I did not sleep so great the night before, i was awake most of the night because I just couldn't sleep. OCD and negative thoughts were racing through my head, sleep just doesn't happen on those nights. Plenty of crying yes, sleeping? nah.
So I talked to the doctor about those things and sleep and brain issues.
First off he put me right back on several things he had taken me off. So my break off of a ton of supplements was short lived.
He replaced 3 things I was taking with 1-2 things instead, this new stuff should work better than what I had been taken before. They also should not be permanent, they should be working to fix the problem whereas the few items before were as needed (which became as needed everyday).
We also worked again on neurotransmitters to replace something else I had been taking. Neurotransmitters are used for brain power, sleeping, waking up, thought control, concentrating, basically anything and everything your brain does. My neurotransmitters aren't in the greatest shape which could also lead to me not feeling hungry like a normal person would and it would also leave me awake at night.
We primarily worked on dopamine, serotonin and GABA plus one of the adrenal hormones called norepinephrine.
Dopamine is your brain power, no dopamine = no energy to think or become motivated. GABA is what turns the brain off at night to sleep ( chances are if you have racing thoughts at night or even all the time, not enough GABA in your system). Then Serotonin which is for mood control and its the natural anti depressant your body makes, at night your body turns serotonin into melatonin to sleep.
Since I don't sleep, I have racing thoughts, brain fog, and sometimes absolutely zero motivation I thought these things matched my symptoms rather well.
First off he put me right back on several things he had taken me off. So my break off of a ton of supplements was short lived.
He replaced 3 things I was taking with 1-2 things instead, this new stuff should work better than what I had been taken before. They also should not be permanent, they should be working to fix the problem whereas the few items before were as needed (which became as needed everyday).
We also worked again on neurotransmitters to replace something else I had been taking. Neurotransmitters are used for brain power, sleeping, waking up, thought control, concentrating, basically anything and everything your brain does. My neurotransmitters aren't in the greatest shape which could also lead to me not feeling hungry like a normal person would and it would also leave me awake at night.
We primarily worked on dopamine, serotonin and GABA plus one of the adrenal hormones called norepinephrine.
Dopamine is your brain power, no dopamine = no energy to think or become motivated. GABA is what turns the brain off at night to sleep ( chances are if you have racing thoughts at night or even all the time, not enough GABA in your system). Then Serotonin which is for mood control and its the natural anti depressant your body makes, at night your body turns serotonin into melatonin to sleep.
Since I don't sleep, I have racing thoughts, brain fog, and sometimes absolutely zero motivation I thought these things matched my symptoms rather well.
Unfortunately this wasn't as easy to correct as the eosoniphils on the first day. He added in 6 new things for me to take, two of which replaced 3 things I had been taking. So a little bit of consolidation did happen, just not as much as I would have appreciated....
Day 3!
I slept extremely hard last night and have felt pretty well all day today, which is unusual while im here. This evening I even spent some time out by the pool which I have only ever done once before, usually in the evening I'm too tired to get off the couch.
I slept extremely hard last night and have felt pretty well all day today, which is unusual while im here. This evening I even spent some time out by the pool which I have only ever done once before, usually in the evening I'm too tired to get off the couch.
In my doctors appointment today we actually ran short, we ran out of problems to work on so I was finished with the doctor early. Not the worst problem to have!
My doctor spent most of our appointment doing chiropractic work, adjusting this and torquing that. I am much less tense after all his beating around.
As far as treatment goes, only 1 new thing today. Through his testing he found an issue with my gut+brain connection.
He found an issue in my amygdala, which is the part of the brain that stores trauma. In my gut he found an infection called toxoplasmosis, which is typically carried by ticks and cats. It can be opportunistic.
In this he determined what was happening between my stomach and brain was that the infection in my gut was setting off a traumatic reaction in my brain, working as a signal to tell my stomach to not accept food. He made a homeopathic remedy to get rid of the infection and to balance out the disconnect, so in theory this could also be a big game changer as far as how i get to eat.
When all these new things start working and getting into my system I may finally be able to eat again.
My doctor spent most of our appointment doing chiropractic work, adjusting this and torquing that. I am much less tense after all his beating around.
As far as treatment goes, only 1 new thing today. Through his testing he found an issue with my gut+brain connection.
He found an issue in my amygdala, which is the part of the brain that stores trauma. In my gut he found an infection called toxoplasmosis, which is typically carried by ticks and cats. It can be opportunistic.
In this he determined what was happening between my stomach and brain was that the infection in my gut was setting off a traumatic reaction in my brain, working as a signal to tell my stomach to not accept food. He made a homeopathic remedy to get rid of the infection and to balance out the disconnect, so in theory this could also be a big game changer as far as how i get to eat.
When all these new things start working and getting into my system I may finally be able to eat again.
Day 4-5
Yesterday and today were both easy doctor visits. Both were a bit on the shorter side.
Yesterday he used something called neurophotonic therapy. He's used this therapy for me before on my first and second visit to the clinic two years ago.
Basically this therapy is a test and a treatment mixed into one. The test is to check how money body processes different wavelengths of light, he used red, blue, green, yellow, orange, and pink. While my body body is processing the light, the doctor runs his tests to see which nerve signals misfire. He finds the misfires and treats them with homeopathics, single doses in office.
This is one of those things that sounds much more complicated than it is, but it does have a profound effect on the nervous system and how it functions. I do not know enough about it to give a detailed explanation, I may have posted about it on visit number 1-2 a few years ago.
So yesterday I did not receive any more remedies to take home.
Yesterday he used something called neurophotonic therapy. He's used this therapy for me before on my first and second visit to the clinic two years ago.
Basically this therapy is a test and a treatment mixed into one. The test is to check how money body processes different wavelengths of light, he used red, blue, green, yellow, orange, and pink. While my body body is processing the light, the doctor runs his tests to see which nerve signals misfire. He finds the misfires and treats them with homeopathics, single doses in office.
This is one of those things that sounds much more complicated than it is, but it does have a profound effect on the nervous system and how it functions. I do not know enough about it to give a detailed explanation, I may have posted about it on visit number 1-2 a few years ago.
So yesterday I did not receive any more remedies to take home.
On the last day we did neurophotonic therapy again along with some more work on my gut.
He found that my spleen was not functioning up to par, which could also affect digestion. He found a couple other minor imbalances with my brain and stomach on top of the spleen, nothing terribly profound though. He gave me two new supplements to take home this time but these are chinese medicine herbals. So for anyone who knows about chinese medicine you'll know these are very strong and very different from standard homeopathic medicine and regular over the counter supplements. Any one whose taken them before can also tell you, they don't taste so great either. Kinda like mixing dirt and alcohol, add in some bitterness, pretty close to what this stuff taste like.
The neurophotonic therapy today was mildly different from yesterday, today he focused on neurology for sleep. So today when he did this therapy he focused on balancing out brain waves so that I will sleep deeper. He had me take a bunch of single doses of homeopathic to correct these imbalances, nothing to take home though.
He found that my spleen was not functioning up to par, which could also affect digestion. He found a couple other minor imbalances with my brain and stomach on top of the spleen, nothing terribly profound though. He gave me two new supplements to take home this time but these are chinese medicine herbals. So for anyone who knows about chinese medicine you'll know these are very strong and very different from standard homeopathic medicine and regular over the counter supplements. Any one whose taken them before can also tell you, they don't taste so great either. Kinda like mixing dirt and alcohol, add in some bitterness, pretty close to what this stuff taste like.
The neurophotonic therapy today was mildly different from yesterday, today he focused on neurology for sleep. So today when he did this therapy he focused on balancing out brain waves so that I will sleep deeper. He had me take a bunch of single doses of homeopathic to correct these imbalances, nothing to take home though.
I have a long list of supplements to take for the next two months but once again, even though its a lot everything is at a lower dose than in the past. Most of my supplements are just once a day instead of twice a day and at they, most are either 1 dropper or 1 tablet instead of multiple. Even though I still have a lot to take it definitely is not in the same way it has been in the past.
Our goal is for me not to need to go back to the clinic until March next year. My doctor thinks I can make it that long with how I have been progressing.
Our goal is for me not to need to go back to the clinic until March next year. My doctor thinks I can make it that long with how I have been progressing.
Overall I am feeling much much better than I have been after my last few visits. I actually had energy to use once I made it home this evening, I normally have none left after a long week at the clinic.
I had a lot more energy to work with this week and I have felt more stable than I normally do after treatment. I still had to rest a lot but not as much as in the past.
I am pleased with the results from this visit. Very pleased!
I had a lot more energy to work with this week and I have felt more stable than I normally do after treatment. I still had to rest a lot but not as much as in the past.
I am pleased with the results from this visit. Very pleased!
Saturday, May 26, 2018
My Own Little Corner
This weekend has been rocky and it isn't even over yet. My brain has been scrambled eggs. I spent last night feeling OCD and depressed. I cried in the shower because I didn't know what else to do. I still don't know what to do. My brain wants to keep upsetting thoughts in circulation and important thoughts forgotten. The sadness and loneliness was unbearable.
I started the intake process with the school councilor last week. I go back this week for something, I think i get placed with a councilor. Im not entirely sure how it works, I just know I have to go back.
Getting the process started was so uncomfortable to me, I had to explain to the intake councilor about lyme disease and why it causes me such hassles. I used to not mind sharing my story but with how I feel these days I feel like so...sick of sharing. It feels like my business, not someone elses. But I did it, nothing bad came of it. He didn't try to tell me anything about lyme, he did of course bring up the CD C and wondered why they didn't do anything about it. I didn't entirely appreciate how he asked me about it, im the patient not the doctor. Why on earth would I honestly care about the CDC, I have a long list of complaints about the CDC but lets be real, the CDC recognizes the Flu, HIV, Tuberculosis, and a ton of other diseases but can a person with HIV be cured? No. Would I ask a person with HIV about the CDC not being able to treat them? No, it probably get looked at like I had lost my marbles.
But its fine. Ive made it this far. I keep telling myself that its time to seek professional help, I have lost so much enjoyment in life that I know I would have if I could just think straight. At this point Ill even try anti depressants and/or anxiety medication, not long ago I would have said I would never take those meds unless it was an emergency. But its time. I think anxiety is part of the reason my eating has been so bizarre and why I never feel like eating. I think depression and OCD are why I can't enjoy anything and why I never feel like anything is good enough. Its gotta change.
Lately I have not been feeling that bad at all-if I discount my emotional turmoil. I have had some back pain, other than that I haven't been hurting much. Fatigue has been significant but because of the OCD and things I haven't been able to sleep...the last two nights, with the help of meds, I have been able to sleep deeper. Today I have for sure had more energy.
Heart and blood pressure symptoms have been an issue, they are probably the only ones I have that aren't related to anxiety or depression related. They could be indirectly though. I just know that if my mood was stabilized and normalized I would probably be feeling great right now, or even more often.
It is hard for me to go the councilor route though, I don't bond with just anyone, I don't feel comfortable speaking to just anyone, and my brain fog will keep me from being able to speak my thoughts clearly. I am going to try to push through it. Currently the only people who know I am trying to pursue this is you guys that have found this blog online, two friends, and my mom. Thats it, I don't think ill change that anytime soon either.
Last night something really triggered me. I was speaking to my best friend and he told me he probably won't be able to go with me to Kansas again this year. I am trying to go back to the clinic in either August or December, so theres time to plan out ahead. Or so i thought. I don't want to keep going through treatment alone like I am. I want and need a friend with me. It takes a lot out of me by sitting in a hotel room listening to the world around me go round while I watch some tv show that I don't enjoy. It makes me feel so small and worthless knowing my friends and family are at home living their life, making money at work, hanging out with other people, and all I can do is keep the hotel bed planted on the floor.
I hate it. It made me feel a billion times better having my best friend with me last visit. I wasn't uncomfortable and I didn't feel so alienated from the living world. I had a friend with me, someone there just for me to see that I was okay. I was much more stable and well feeling having him with me....
I don't want to go back to my doctor at all if its just going to be me staring down the four walls between clinic visits.
I don't even have the energy to go off and go walking or anything after seeing the doctor usually, otherwise I would try to find things to do but its just not that easy....
Its hard for me to find encouragement. Its hard for me to get out of my own head. Its hard for me to trust anyone. Its hard to feel the love from those around me. Its hard to enjoy anything. Day to day activities have just become a distraction between sleeping.
I sure hope that hamster is enjoying its vacation from the wheel....
I started the intake process with the school councilor last week. I go back this week for something, I think i get placed with a councilor. Im not entirely sure how it works, I just know I have to go back.
Getting the process started was so uncomfortable to me, I had to explain to the intake councilor about lyme disease and why it causes me such hassles. I used to not mind sharing my story but with how I feel these days I feel like so...sick of sharing. It feels like my business, not someone elses. But I did it, nothing bad came of it. He didn't try to tell me anything about lyme, he did of course bring up the CD C and wondered why they didn't do anything about it. I didn't entirely appreciate how he asked me about it, im the patient not the doctor. Why on earth would I honestly care about the CDC, I have a long list of complaints about the CDC but lets be real, the CDC recognizes the Flu, HIV, Tuberculosis, and a ton of other diseases but can a person with HIV be cured? No. Would I ask a person with HIV about the CDC not being able to treat them? No, it probably get looked at like I had lost my marbles.
But its fine. Ive made it this far. I keep telling myself that its time to seek professional help, I have lost so much enjoyment in life that I know I would have if I could just think straight. At this point Ill even try anti depressants and/or anxiety medication, not long ago I would have said I would never take those meds unless it was an emergency. But its time. I think anxiety is part of the reason my eating has been so bizarre and why I never feel like eating. I think depression and OCD are why I can't enjoy anything and why I never feel like anything is good enough. Its gotta change.
Lately I have not been feeling that bad at all-if I discount my emotional turmoil. I have had some back pain, other than that I haven't been hurting much. Fatigue has been significant but because of the OCD and things I haven't been able to sleep...the last two nights, with the help of meds, I have been able to sleep deeper. Today I have for sure had more energy.
Heart and blood pressure symptoms have been an issue, they are probably the only ones I have that aren't related to anxiety or depression related. They could be indirectly though. I just know that if my mood was stabilized and normalized I would probably be feeling great right now, or even more often.
It is hard for me to go the councilor route though, I don't bond with just anyone, I don't feel comfortable speaking to just anyone, and my brain fog will keep me from being able to speak my thoughts clearly. I am going to try to push through it. Currently the only people who know I am trying to pursue this is you guys that have found this blog online, two friends, and my mom. Thats it, I don't think ill change that anytime soon either.
Last night something really triggered me. I was speaking to my best friend and he told me he probably won't be able to go with me to Kansas again this year. I am trying to go back to the clinic in either August or December, so theres time to plan out ahead. Or so i thought. I don't want to keep going through treatment alone like I am. I want and need a friend with me. It takes a lot out of me by sitting in a hotel room listening to the world around me go round while I watch some tv show that I don't enjoy. It makes me feel so small and worthless knowing my friends and family are at home living their life, making money at work, hanging out with other people, and all I can do is keep the hotel bed planted on the floor.
I hate it. It made me feel a billion times better having my best friend with me last visit. I wasn't uncomfortable and I didn't feel so alienated from the living world. I had a friend with me, someone there just for me to see that I was okay. I was much more stable and well feeling having him with me....
I don't want to go back to my doctor at all if its just going to be me staring down the four walls between clinic visits.
I don't even have the energy to go off and go walking or anything after seeing the doctor usually, otherwise I would try to find things to do but its just not that easy....
Its hard for me to find encouragement. Its hard for me to get out of my own head. Its hard for me to trust anyone. Its hard to feel the love from those around me. Its hard to enjoy anything. Day to day activities have just become a distraction between sleeping.
I sure hope that hamster is enjoying its vacation from the wheel....
Friday, March 23, 2018
Day 5 of Treatment 2018
Hi all, I hope you are all having a good symptom free week!
Today was my last day in Wichita at the clinic, I am all the way back home in my own bed now-very tired.
The doctors visit went well, not terribly exciting. The doc worked on my spine, neck, and muscles doing regular chiropractic work. I am prone to all sorts of spinal stuff because of my scoliosis, my KS doc does a much better job at adjusting my back and making it last than any other chiropractor I've been to.
I was not given anymore supplements to take home on todays visit, praise the Lord. The doc did some testing on my thyroid and hormones but it all tested well. He gave me a few one time dose homeopathics to take in his office, but thats it.
In other words, today I checked out well and there was not a whole lot for me to have done. Loose ends are being tied up.
This was a great week. My doctor has me on a bunch of new supplements I have never tried before so I am very excited to see what kind of progress is made in the next few months.
My gut has been totally screwed up since March of last year. Whatever happened last March when I got sick during treatment has really stuck around in my body and hasn't let go. Anyone who has been following me this last year knows that the last several months have been the worst, maybe ever for me.
When everything went south last year my gut became problematic and my digestion was lacking. I was ready to just quit eating altogether at one point. It just hurt. I lost my mind for a while, it felt like decades. In reality I don't know when it started or when it ended, I just know that most of the time I am better now and I never get to the extremes I used to hit. Pain came back along with dizziness and extreme fatigue.
The last three visits to the clinic have mainly been to get my body floating in the right direction again. Each time brought more progress. This last week I think may have finally tied up the loose ends. My doctor found a lot with my gut and brain individually and my gut and brain together. Never had these kind of findings show up on the test before, so I think we may have finally dug through enough layers to reach some of the roots of why an atom bomb went off inside me and broke me in to a billion tiny pieces.
I am on new supplements that I have never tried, mostly for either detox in general or killing bad gut flora. My doctor said it could take a while for my gut to shift, as long as I don't get extremely worse I don't care how long it takes as long as I am moving in the right direction.
Today was my last day in Wichita at the clinic, I am all the way back home in my own bed now-very tired.
The doctors visit went well, not terribly exciting. The doc worked on my spine, neck, and muscles doing regular chiropractic work. I am prone to all sorts of spinal stuff because of my scoliosis, my KS doc does a much better job at adjusting my back and making it last than any other chiropractor I've been to.
I was not given anymore supplements to take home on todays visit, praise the Lord. The doc did some testing on my thyroid and hormones but it all tested well. He gave me a few one time dose homeopathics to take in his office, but thats it.
In other words, today I checked out well and there was not a whole lot for me to have done. Loose ends are being tied up.
This was a great week. My doctor has me on a bunch of new supplements I have never tried before so I am very excited to see what kind of progress is made in the next few months.
My gut has been totally screwed up since March of last year. Whatever happened last March when I got sick during treatment has really stuck around in my body and hasn't let go. Anyone who has been following me this last year knows that the last several months have been the worst, maybe ever for me.
When everything went south last year my gut became problematic and my digestion was lacking. I was ready to just quit eating altogether at one point. It just hurt. I lost my mind for a while, it felt like decades. In reality I don't know when it started or when it ended, I just know that most of the time I am better now and I never get to the extremes I used to hit. Pain came back along with dizziness and extreme fatigue.
The last three visits to the clinic have mainly been to get my body floating in the right direction again. Each time brought more progress. This last week I think may have finally tied up the loose ends. My doctor found a lot with my gut and brain individually and my gut and brain together. Never had these kind of findings show up on the test before, so I think we may have finally dug through enough layers to reach some of the roots of why an atom bomb went off inside me and broke me in to a billion tiny pieces.
I am on new supplements that I have never tried, mostly for either detox in general or killing bad gut flora. My doctor said it could take a while for my gut to shift, as long as I don't get extremely worse I don't care how long it takes as long as I am moving in the right direction.
Thursday, September 21, 2017
Next Round of Fighting
Lots of things have happened since my last post. First, my memory has been all over the place, for one September is almost over...my last post was August 30...and I thought that was last Sunday or maybe the weekend before. In reality it was actually three weeks ago.
Second, my stomach has been severely messed up. Last Tuesday I went into work to do some things, I was very sick and unwell that day, I spoke to another co worker there. She said You have a hell of a hernia thats what you have!
I hadn't been able to eat anything significant in several days and couldn't even drink water much, I was down to 129lbs which I haven't seen and haven't wanted to see in a long time.
So I saw my chiropractor that day and she put her hand on my stomach..she said oh my goodness, this must be one of the smallest stomachs I have ever felt. After that she said, without even pressing down I feel the artery pulsing, this is serious you need to start eating again and gain some weight back. She wasn't wrong either, I feel sickly thin...like a starvation malnourished thin.
Sure enough though, hiatal hernia. She adjusted it and man did that hurt! I saw my friend later that day, she's trained in some kinesiology. So she could do some muscle testing to see what else she could find with this whole abdominal situation. She did some things on my illeoceacal and houston valve. Plus she did something for my whole emotional ordeal, color balancing I believe its called.
During the color balancing she found that I was grieving over school, so we dug deeper to see the specifics. Long story short, I was grieving over having enough money to pay for school soon. But heres the catch, my school is cheap and its not bugging me...so I asked my friend, could this be for someone else? She said yes. Then I knew, it was about my best friend. I do not want him to go off to school this coming school year next year....if he saves enough pennies and gets the money he's going to school a thousand miles from me...I don't want that. Not one darn bit. He is the one person in my life that is health and he gets it. A healthy person who understands what I'm going through? Holy crap thats rare. He understands how important it is for me to talk about some of these issues that come up with me and he does the best he can to be there for me. He did that when I was healthy a few months ago too, we just have that sort of connection you could say.
I know I've lost my mind and my body for now...badly...but I can't imagine him being gone from me or wanting to be gone like that, ya know? I just don't get how he would want to go so far away when he doesn't have a need for it...but school is one of those things I just don't get like the normal people do...being sick, I just show up and do the work then leave..dont get me wrong, I have good grades and do well in school. But I have no excess energy to spend on it.
Anyway, back to my kinesiology friend. We finished out that day cleaning out my emotions, I went home feeling a bit lighter and able to eat. I had some progress for the first time since I last visited kansas. It didn't stick though. The next day, I was able to eat better than previous but not well. Emotions hadn't come back full blown but they were sliding.
That thursday my chiropractor told me to come for a visit(yep, she texted me and said to come see her. She's just that cool). She rechecked my stomach, out again. She adjusted it, this time much less painful and I could feel it release. My eating improved for several days after this.
She also checked me on her little oil biofeedback device, it gives out a reading on essential oils that will be beneficial for my body. Several relaxation oils plus a few for digestion were my results. Since then I've been keeping up with using my oils, seems to be slightly relaxing if anything. I smell good too, like a whole flower shop exploded.
This week I've seen my chiropractor again, for my stomach to be adjusted. I saw my friend yesterday and she did some more digging on me. Some kind of school stress related to me came up, we couldn't figure out anything deeper than that though. We cleared it, that was the only emotional situation for me this time, very much improved after the visit. I also started my supplements back, last week when I couldn't eat or drink i quite everything except for a few important things.
The week before last my ND here told me it could be h.pylori, so I started Mastic Gum. That has helped my stomach upset and it was effective quickly, still taking for now. I don't think I have h.pylori...I think its all been the hernia. Either way I'm taking mastic gum and a natural antibiotic called biocidin to clear any candida or other nasties from my digestion. Plus a super strong probiotic.
All of this, catches y'all up until today.
Today I spoke to a lyme friend I haven't seen in a long while. She's starting with a new llmd that is super well liked and way up in the food chain. After telling her about all my psych symptoms that I cared to share plus my physical, she said I think you've got a bartonella infection brewing that needs addressing.
She did a quick muscle test on me and told me yes its bart, however no babesia this time. I figure if anything it'll be worth talking to my kansas doctor about when I see him.
Im going back the week after next for a short visit, by that I mean an emergency visit for him to work on me.
Speaking to my friend was great, it was nice to talk to someone whose as well lyme educated as I am. Except she's not so much in brain fog as I am right now, so it was much easier for her to take a shot as to what could be causing my new found symptoms. When she said bartonella, i remembered back when i took houtynnia several years ago and had a brain herx, which gave me a severe brain herx.
Since then, sometime last year, I had my KS dr. check me for bart, to which i was negative. But i wasn't having these symptoms then...so, maybe we've reached a new layer of junk in my system to remove.
I don't currently feel toxic, I feel like it is more pathogenic...I do the ionic foot bath and some other stuff...I should be pulling out a significant amount of toxins. Idk how its even possible that I still have toxins in me at this point, but whatever.
Ill keep on working.
Second, my stomach has been severely messed up. Last Tuesday I went into work to do some things, I was very sick and unwell that day, I spoke to another co worker there. She said You have a hell of a hernia thats what you have!
I hadn't been able to eat anything significant in several days and couldn't even drink water much, I was down to 129lbs which I haven't seen and haven't wanted to see in a long time.
So I saw my chiropractor that day and she put her hand on my stomach..she said oh my goodness, this must be one of the smallest stomachs I have ever felt. After that she said, without even pressing down I feel the artery pulsing, this is serious you need to start eating again and gain some weight back. She wasn't wrong either, I feel sickly thin...like a starvation malnourished thin.
Sure enough though, hiatal hernia. She adjusted it and man did that hurt! I saw my friend later that day, she's trained in some kinesiology. So she could do some muscle testing to see what else she could find with this whole abdominal situation. She did some things on my illeoceacal and houston valve. Plus she did something for my whole emotional ordeal, color balancing I believe its called.
During the color balancing she found that I was grieving over school, so we dug deeper to see the specifics. Long story short, I was grieving over having enough money to pay for school soon. But heres the catch, my school is cheap and its not bugging me...so I asked my friend, could this be for someone else? She said yes. Then I knew, it was about my best friend. I do not want him to go off to school this coming school year next year....if he saves enough pennies and gets the money he's going to school a thousand miles from me...I don't want that. Not one darn bit. He is the one person in my life that is health and he gets it. A healthy person who understands what I'm going through? Holy crap thats rare. He understands how important it is for me to talk about some of these issues that come up with me and he does the best he can to be there for me. He did that when I was healthy a few months ago too, we just have that sort of connection you could say.
I know I've lost my mind and my body for now...badly...but I can't imagine him being gone from me or wanting to be gone like that, ya know? I just don't get how he would want to go so far away when he doesn't have a need for it...but school is one of those things I just don't get like the normal people do...being sick, I just show up and do the work then leave..dont get me wrong, I have good grades and do well in school. But I have no excess energy to spend on it.
Anyway, back to my kinesiology friend. We finished out that day cleaning out my emotions, I went home feeling a bit lighter and able to eat. I had some progress for the first time since I last visited kansas. It didn't stick though. The next day, I was able to eat better than previous but not well. Emotions hadn't come back full blown but they were sliding.
That thursday my chiropractor told me to come for a visit(yep, she texted me and said to come see her. She's just that cool). She rechecked my stomach, out again. She adjusted it, this time much less painful and I could feel it release. My eating improved for several days after this.
She also checked me on her little oil biofeedback device, it gives out a reading on essential oils that will be beneficial for my body. Several relaxation oils plus a few for digestion were my results. Since then I've been keeping up with using my oils, seems to be slightly relaxing if anything. I smell good too, like a whole flower shop exploded.
This week I've seen my chiropractor again, for my stomach to be adjusted. I saw my friend yesterday and she did some more digging on me. Some kind of school stress related to me came up, we couldn't figure out anything deeper than that though. We cleared it, that was the only emotional situation for me this time, very much improved after the visit. I also started my supplements back, last week when I couldn't eat or drink i quite everything except for a few important things.
The week before last my ND here told me it could be h.pylori, so I started Mastic Gum. That has helped my stomach upset and it was effective quickly, still taking for now. I don't think I have h.pylori...I think its all been the hernia. Either way I'm taking mastic gum and a natural antibiotic called biocidin to clear any candida or other nasties from my digestion. Plus a super strong probiotic.
All of this, catches y'all up until today.
Today I spoke to a lyme friend I haven't seen in a long while. She's starting with a new llmd that is super well liked and way up in the food chain. After telling her about all my psych symptoms that I cared to share plus my physical, she said I think you've got a bartonella infection brewing that needs addressing.
She did a quick muscle test on me and told me yes its bart, however no babesia this time. I figure if anything it'll be worth talking to my kansas doctor about when I see him.
Im going back the week after next for a short visit, by that I mean an emergency visit for him to work on me.
Speaking to my friend was great, it was nice to talk to someone whose as well lyme educated as I am. Except she's not so much in brain fog as I am right now, so it was much easier for her to take a shot as to what could be causing my new found symptoms. When she said bartonella, i remembered back when i took houtynnia several years ago and had a brain herx, which gave me a severe brain herx.
Since then, sometime last year, I had my KS dr. check me for bart, to which i was negative. But i wasn't having these symptoms then...so, maybe we've reached a new layer of junk in my system to remove.
I don't currently feel toxic, I feel like it is more pathogenic...I do the ionic foot bath and some other stuff...I should be pulling out a significant amount of toxins. Idk how its even possible that I still have toxins in me at this point, but whatever.
Ill keep on working.
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