Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts

Sunday, August 9, 2020

Week with the Doctor

Just Completed my Second Week at the Clinic for the Year

I spent the week with the doctor, this is the second trip this year.
It went extremely well, my test results as a whole have stayed consistent and I haven't gotten any worse from the last time I visited the clinic. I have been feeling great, going to the gym 4-5x a week, i've been sleeping well, had decent energy, and for the most part feeling normal. He is happy with the progress I have made since my visit in March, once again he said there is no lyme or pathogen's in my system causing me issues, its just a matter of cleaning up the damage that the lyme has left.
Since this time last year, I have gained around 20lbs, which is a big deal for me. I still need to gain more but it is not something I need to worry too much on. This week the doctor did spend some time focusing on my gut so that in theory I can start eating more sooner rather than later. He is not too discouraged by how much I eat, but he does want my appetite to be more consistent (because some days I couldn't care less if I ate or not).
He did work on my gut, brain, lungs, liver and heart this week and that was it. I am taking probably half of the amount of supplements as to what I normally would be taking-which is fantastic. No parasites either, which was a problem forever. Parasite treatment was the worst too!

I am pretty excited, I won't need to see him again until March next year. If it wasn't for my school schedule limiting when I can and cannot go I probably wouldn't go back to the clinic for a year. My March visit next year will probably be the only visit to the clinic next year, which would be the best yet. This year and last, I visited the clinic two per year. Back when I first started going I went 3x the first year, I think 4x the second because I ended up getting very sick (or it may have been the third year...I would have to look back at my notes). In total I have been going for 5 and a half years, which is daunting to think about. Niether my parents, my doctor, or myself thought it would take this long to get my body back to normal. I still struggle with issues here and there, sometimes I do still feel depressed or defeated, I still just get totally worn out sometimes, and I do have to push myself hard to keep my motivation. But. I am doing well. When I have a bad day, I know it will be short lived. Instead of a bad month its just a bad day. I like being able to live my life without really having to think "oh yea, I have lyme disease"

I have made great progress over the last year, I am feeling much better and feeling more normal. I have to say I have one of the best doctors in the world!

I probably will post less on my blog only because I do not have as much to share, but I am not leaving by any stretch. Years ago when I spent so much time reading lyme blogs I found that some would just end, without any idea as to what happened to the writer. Some others would end when the writer started doing better. I want to continue to catalog and share what happens with my life, because Lyme has been a part of my life for so long it has shaped my future.
Because of Lyme I chose to pursue a career in alternative medicine, I will be applying to grad schools in the next month or two. I plan on becoming a chiropractor, I am also considering pursuing a Masters in psychology so that I could be a counselor in addition. In December of this year, I will finally finish my undergraduate degree in psychology. I am super excited for this!

Years ago, in one of my more emotional posts on what lyme can do to ones mental state, I talked about how I felt like it hurt me more to dream about the future because I was not healthy or capable enough to do the things I needed and wanted. I feel like now, I can dream all I want and my body wont be what holds me back. I know psychologically I will struggle a little bit more than others when it comes to some things, but because I know that and I have had some great resources, I will now be able to cope more so than in the past. Brain fog and forgetfulness still happens, it may even be a "normal" amount-truthfully I don't know. My doctor told me that most likely what will happen is that I will start remembering more from here on out, but the things I have forgotten over the years may or may not come back. SO five years from now I will remember this point forward, but some things from five years ago now I may never get back. Which is ok, because I still am making progress.

I have some other "health" goals I need to push for myself that all of us, chronic or not, need to be working on. I have mentioned before about how much my psychology teachers have pushed us to manage our stress, because that will be the prevention we need to keep away from all sorts of ailments. I need to work some more on my spirituality, I have gotten so bad at reading books of any kind because it is hard for me to sit down and read-especially if it is something I want to read to remember. I need to get back into doing some reading and studying, outside of school.
I pray often but I would not say I have been pushing my relationship with God very much as I should be.

I want to continue being able to share with others with lyme or chronic illness that there is hope, ignore what the doctors or naysayers say and push your own pathway towards healing. I have no idea if I will ever have a lyme flair again, I may not or I may have a lot more ahead. Who knows. But what will count is how I handle it mentally, physically and emotionally.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

And I'm off...

If anyone reading this post suffers from chronic disease, you will get everything im about to say. If you do not have a disease, just hold with me.

As you guys may know, learning to deal with chronic illness creates a new way of life. A patient must learn his limits, what's okay and what's just too over taxing. Here's a few examples-waking up in the morning, never open your eyes then proceed to stand up. A waiting period varying from 5 minutes to 45 minutes is needed to avoid possibly collapsing on the floor from low BP.
Thyroid hormone you see is what gives you your early morning energy first thing. Lyme disease however attacks your thyroid, making it dysfunctional. When the thyroid function dips, so will you.

Next-we've wokem up, blood pressure is now at a functioning level. We are standing up changing clothes, normal right? Well, no. Depending on the day we have joint, bone, and or muscle pain. Once clotures are changed, bodily fatigue is beginning.

And then after this processs we may want breakfast. Not always, sometimes the morning is just too blurry to eat. If we actually need to eat, something simple and small(but healthy, junk food causes it's own a symptoms) like an apple is all that is consumed. Maybe not even the whole apple depending on the day.

And that's a regular morning for someone like me. I wake up, lay there until I can get up, grab an apple, then go to work and smile.
Lately my joints rarely cause a problem, bones are fine, but muscles are tight and cold. So changing clothes is tiring to some degree.
I started stretching and exercising mildly, I have had tolerable improvement. I can't over do the exercise, been there done that. Never ends in my favor.
I started the mild exercise a three days ago I think, and today was notably harder than before to get down on the floor and expend energy.
I only do my routine for 5 minutes max.

Anyway, I think I got distracted.

Chronic illness changes what a person can do. I saw something recently, and it just triggered me.
I don't know of a better way of putting it, but it just hit me.

The post was a happy parent bragging about how amazing their kid is doing. Working and doing school am obnoxious amount of time and a 4.0gpa.
I'm sad the say the only thing I felt was depressed and sorry for myself. I feel like I have fought to the death for the energy I have to work and to get my not so great gpa.
I eat a special high nutrient diet with minimal chemicals and garbage, I have single handily kept the amazon supplements companies in business, and I have had to fight with adults since I was barely a teenager to even get recognition that I'm sick and need treatment.

I have the disease that leaves me looking almost normal and feeling like I'm physically dead.
I eat weird foods all the time and I look anorexic.

And this disease is surpassing breast cancer and HIV by longshots...
But none of us get recognized. None of us get treatment. The only people that care are the ones who have experienced it.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

I Would Like to Ask for Something

As you all have seen I follow many blogs, at some point I think I've mentioned most of them. A few months ago I posted about one blog in particular, Ticks and Trust. This blog is written by a Canadian mom who also battles Lyme disease and several co-infections. Several years ago her son Parker was also bitten. Shannon has since been able to better than when she had a full blown set of infections constantly. Parker however has not been able to become assymptomatic. He reached remission once, but the pain never fully went away. Now he is doing worse and nothing seems to be making him well.

The faith and confidance in of this family has been challenged so hard. I think many of the people who read my blog understand what it's like to he chronically ill because most of them probably are. But this family, nearly all of them have been Lyme positive at some point. Nearly all of them have been through Lyme treatment. They have all had to deal with trying to find a doctor to treat them, which has turned into multiple doctors and multiple treatments. Shannon's oldest and youngest are doing well how, but her middle child Parker only knows suffering at this point.

I would like to ask for prayers for the Goertzen family. I know what it's like to be the sick kid whose just held back by everything, thinking about other kids like Parker who are much worse than I ever was just makes my heart break.
I wish I had some other way to help them in addition to our prayers, but this time all I have to offer is my own hope in God that one day he will he ok. Parker will be a new person and when he comes out of this darkness he lives under he will be able to look back and find the positive things that happened in his long journey.
I am personally praying he will never lose faith that he will be okay and all of this happens for a reason, it's not God trying to torture him in any way.

Here is a link to the most recent post.

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.