Today Marks Year Nine
As the above says, today 1/26/20 marks my ninth year of battling Lyme disease. In the beginning I had no idea I had Lyme. I had broken my arm and then never felt well again, I felt this way, then worse and worse for several years before getting any idea as to what was truly wrong with me.
For my full story, see this post from years and years ago.
I look at the last nine years and I almost want to scream, every single year has been different in thousands of ways. Consistency has not been my forté at all for how I have felt with being ill or how I had to deal with the ever rolling stresses handed to me. The first year was the beginning of the stress, I thought I was just sick from a drug interaction or from the stress of breaking multiple bones. Then I got sicker and I thought something more had to be wrong.
Year six and seven were probably the worst of the worst. I discovered anxiety and severe OCD somewhere in that timeline, I learned what starving and not being able to eat meant. I discovered new fears and pains that I had no idea were possible.
I prayed a lot. I cried a lot. I complained many times over. I made it.
Year eight was a big changing point, I began exercising for the first time in my life and was able to really begin enjoying it! I began feeling peace and calmness again in my life, something that I felt was gone forever at one point. It felt as if my body had begun "waking up", my alertness began coming back and so did my energy. Consistency starting walking into my life and pain began walking out.
Looking back, I see several people who have come and gone from my life. Some I miss and some I hope have lost my number, and truthfully I do blame lyme and what it did to me for why I left some people behind and why some people left me in the dirt. Necessities breed ingenuity, I had a great need for "real" people in my life. People that just enjoy "fun" on a Friday night and nothing else at all, no longer had a place in my life. Some of these people could not handle how I "felt" all of the time, they did not appreciate how I had too many feelings and that none of these feelings were "fun".
And some of these people I no longer felt like being around because they are rather shallow. Lyme taught me a lot about looking deeper than skin deep and it taught me that what people don't say can be louder than what they do say. I learned to listen to the world going around instead of only hearing what was placed directly in my face, which is hard to explain.
Looking back I can also see how Lyme landed me my job, which I love so much. Lyme shaped my personality into a more caring spirit, I want to work with people who need help and need people to understand. Not just a 9-5 which serves no long term purpose.
I learned that living with a purpose and a meaning was capable of reshaping my entire outlook on life.
Nine years has taught me a lot, I pray that this is the year in which I can say Lyme no longer causes me illness. To be further specific, I pray that the lyme bacteria and the damage that has been done to my body, emotions, and spirit will no longer cause me disease. Year eight has taught me that my patience has begun paying off. I go to the gym all the time, since the beginning of December I have been to the gym on average 4x per week and I have gotten into my sauna 5x per week. These things have made me feel so satisfied and happy. I do not know if its because they are helping me so much, or if I am just that grateful that I can finally exercise on a consistent basis for the first time in my life.
I cant believe I have been sick nearly a decade, it is scary to think about how quickly all of it has burned past. I am grateful though that the last few years went by quickly, because they were nothing short of horrible. If I could never relieve that part of my life, that would be great.
I thank God for all of my progress. I have prayed that I will come out on the otherside healthier and happier than ever before, without trauma and damage. I think that one day this goal will be achieved.
Heres to another benchmark year in which changes and progress and growth will be embraced and welcomed :)
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Sunday, January 26, 2020
Monday, December 24, 2018
Guest Post from E- It Took Everything from Me
It took everything from me
“What is happening to me?” I wondered, as I stood in the shower.
I was cold, quite dizzy and generally didn’t feel good. After a day at work, the hot shower warmed me up nicely.
I drove to my church, where I was scheduled to spend the evening. I didn’t feel like eating anything, so I just got some tea. As the evening progressed, I felt worse and worse, and got so cold that I was shaking and shivering....with a coat on.
Finally, I had enough and went outside to my car, turned the heater on high and cried myself to sleep. Eventually a friend came out and found me, and drove me home.
This was the first time anything like that had happened to me, and I really didn’t know what to think of it. Over the next few months, I began to get more and more tired, until the point that I am now continually exhausted, and sometimes can only collapse in bed. I have agonizing pain, and have developed an intermittent stu-stutter, along with other cognitive difficulties. Conversations in groups have become increasingly difficult, and any productive school work at times seems nearly impossible. I have started falling regularly, and I am at times unable to control my balance well.
Though I never had many friendships before, the ones I did have seemed to die as I have become unable to do the things I used to do. But none of these are as bad as the ever present, crushing depression. I wake up every day, cussing that I woke up and that it is once again time to try to get up and move. I feel like I have been hit by a freight train.
A few years after I first got sick, I was diagnosed with Master’s (essentially lyme) disease. That at least explains what has been going on. But knowing hasn’t made things easier in general. When I, in passing conversation, mention to someone that I have Lyme disease, the general response is “okay.” There’s no concern on their face, no understanding in their mind, and no care in their soul. People, in general, just don’t care. However there are a few people that care about me, and for those I am incredibly grateful; it means more to me than they know.
This disease has taken everything from me. It took all of my energy. It took my ability to even have enjoyment. It took my emotions. It took my memory and my capability to think clearly. It even took my ability to have moving prayer time or serious devotions. It took me....and left me for dead, as a skeleton of my former self. A self that my friends, family and acquaintances don’t know, a self that I don’t know; a self that almost no-one knows. It took my youthful inspiration and replaced it with a wish for the sweet release of death every single day.
Even with the impressive amount that the bacteria has been able to accomplish, it hasn’t taken God from me, or me from Him. Nothing can separate those in Christ from his love for us. And I know that, and I firmly believe that. Nothing has escaped His attention, and I know that this immense suffering is for my good. It is helping me become the man God wants me to be; it may feel most of the time like a dagger in my heart, but I know that when I get better, if I get better, I’m going to be unstoppable. I’m going to be infinitely more compassionate towards those with depression, mental and physical disabilities, the hurting, the outcast, the unwanted and the untouchables of society. I’ll have a much greater understanding of what these people go through, and perhaps be able to help them. And for that I’m thankful.
-E
I asked E to write a post about his story for me to share on my blog, and I am impressed at how well he captured what he is going through. His brain fog and focus issues are a fair bit worse than mine (or so I think), and mine are fairly severe. For him to write this much and do such a coherent and clear job at writing, im super proud.
One of the things he asked me after we began talking was "how do you describe what lyme has done to you"
I responded back with " I feel like I was murdered, then I never left my body."
Its fairly safe to say we both feel very dark now, which I for sure never felt like before lyme. Its hard to fight the crushing depression that has come on with lyme, the lyme takes over the body and the depression on top of it helps take over the brain and its thoughts. Together the two of us have more support to encourage the other through the dark times, which are more often than either of us would like to admit to anyone else.
Im sure that this will not be the last post from my friend that you will see posted on this blog, as he progresses with his treatment and his life and symptoms change im sure Ill be able to convince him to write a little more to share!
He started zithromax today, so I have a feeling he's not going to be feeling to great over the next few days.
“What is happening to me?” I wondered, as I stood in the shower.
I was cold, quite dizzy and generally didn’t feel good. After a day at work, the hot shower warmed me up nicely.
I drove to my church, where I was scheduled to spend the evening. I didn’t feel like eating anything, so I just got some tea. As the evening progressed, I felt worse and worse, and got so cold that I was shaking and shivering....with a coat on.
Finally, I had enough and went outside to my car, turned the heater on high and cried myself to sleep. Eventually a friend came out and found me, and drove me home.
This was the first time anything like that had happened to me, and I really didn’t know what to think of it. Over the next few months, I began to get more and more tired, until the point that I am now continually exhausted, and sometimes can only collapse in bed. I have agonizing pain, and have developed an intermittent stu-stutter, along with other cognitive difficulties. Conversations in groups have become increasingly difficult, and any productive school work at times seems nearly impossible. I have started falling regularly, and I am at times unable to control my balance well.
Though I never had many friendships before, the ones I did have seemed to die as I have become unable to do the things I used to do. But none of these are as bad as the ever present, crushing depression. I wake up every day, cussing that I woke up and that it is once again time to try to get up and move. I feel like I have been hit by a freight train.
A few years after I first got sick, I was diagnosed with Master’s (essentially lyme) disease. That at least explains what has been going on. But knowing hasn’t made things easier in general. When I, in passing conversation, mention to someone that I have Lyme disease, the general response is “okay.” There’s no concern on their face, no understanding in their mind, and no care in their soul. People, in general, just don’t care. However there are a few people that care about me, and for those I am incredibly grateful; it means more to me than they know.
This disease has taken everything from me. It took all of my energy. It took my ability to even have enjoyment. It took my emotions. It took my memory and my capability to think clearly. It even took my ability to have moving prayer time or serious devotions. It took me....and left me for dead, as a skeleton of my former self. A self that my friends, family and acquaintances don’t know, a self that I don’t know; a self that almost no-one knows. It took my youthful inspiration and replaced it with a wish for the sweet release of death every single day.
Even with the impressive amount that the bacteria has been able to accomplish, it hasn’t taken God from me, or me from Him. Nothing can separate those in Christ from his love for us. And I know that, and I firmly believe that. Nothing has escaped His attention, and I know that this immense suffering is for my good. It is helping me become the man God wants me to be; it may feel most of the time like a dagger in my heart, but I know that when I get better, if I get better, I’m going to be unstoppable. I’m going to be infinitely more compassionate towards those with depression, mental and physical disabilities, the hurting, the outcast, the unwanted and the untouchables of society. I’ll have a much greater understanding of what these people go through, and perhaps be able to help them. And for that I’m thankful.
-E
I asked E to write a post about his story for me to share on my blog, and I am impressed at how well he captured what he is going through. His brain fog and focus issues are a fair bit worse than mine (or so I think), and mine are fairly severe. For him to write this much and do such a coherent and clear job at writing, im super proud.
One of the things he asked me after we began talking was "how do you describe what lyme has done to you"
I responded back with " I feel like I was murdered, then I never left my body."
Its fairly safe to say we both feel very dark now, which I for sure never felt like before lyme. Its hard to fight the crushing depression that has come on with lyme, the lyme takes over the body and the depression on top of it helps take over the brain and its thoughts. Together the two of us have more support to encourage the other through the dark times, which are more often than either of us would like to admit to anyone else.
Im sure that this will not be the last post from my friend that you will see posted on this blog, as he progresses with his treatment and his life and symptoms change im sure Ill be able to convince him to write a little more to share!
He started zithromax today, so I have a feeling he's not going to be feeling to great over the next few days.
Friday, October 19, 2018
Forgot to Sleep
Sleeping
I’m told is very important for physical and mental health. Honestly I’m just living on faith that that’s true the truth. Insomnia, what can I say, I’ve NOT slept more in my life than I have slept. Just is what it is. Haven’t figured out the magic code for that one yet. Recently I asked my doctor to let me try a sleeping drug again to see if I could find some relief. In the past I’ve had ambien and restoril, with rather lacking results. That was probably three years ago. This time she gave me Lunesta!
Much to my dismay, the green Lunamoth from the commercial isn’t real. I took the drug two nights in a row. She told me my dose was a higher one because of my history with lackluster results with prescriptions. It actually helped me sleep! First time for everything! Now this is where a regular person would cheer and say whoohoo the medicine works! But. I ain’t a regular person. Did I sleep better ?? Sure did. Did I feel better? Oh no. No no. I was completely zombiefied the next day both days. It made me depressed and just completely brain dead.
Needless to say...I’ve already taken a hiatus from the new drug. Unfortunately I feel and function better on no sleep than I do with sleep(induced by meds). One day when I don’t have anything to worry about the following day, I’m going to give a 1/2 or 1/4 dose a shot to see if that gives me fewer side effects. I don’t even like taking prescriptions, but it would be so nice just to have something to rescue me on one of those *extra* bad nights when I’m still 1000% wide awake at 5:00am. It happens!!
For those of you in the crowd wondering, and yes there’s always one of you out there to ask me this question. Yes I have tried melatonin. No it didn’t work. Yes I tried taking more or taking less. I didn’t sleep earlier or harder, it just made me more tired the next day.
The last two nights for me have been borderline tragic. I don’t know if I would say I’ve even slept, just dozed. The next day always feels like a continuation of the day before...I hate those days.
The strange part is how okay it is though, I have the same amount of energy as normal. Maybe a little less, and certainly less brain power. But I’ve aced tests in school on 0% sleep. So that should tell you how active my brain will stay even in the most sleep deprived of states.
Honestly I think I if I slept like a normal human being I would have the energy to do things like exercise and exert energy. Wouldn’t shock me at all if my chronic always awakeness was contributing to the cause of me not being able to exert myself.
This weeks sleep, er lack of sleep, has led me to beginning to feel ill. This evening I had a headache and my sinuses acting up. Oh dear. Just what I need, a sinus bug! The ibuprofen took care of the headache. I’m hoping my vitamins and natural antibiotics knock out any possible infection. I just don’t want to get sick! No no no!
Normally I stay on a low dose of a natural antibiotic called Biocidin. I keep on it as it’s a good anti strep anti fungal, two things I struggle with. Well two days ago I had the bright idea that maybe this Biocidin was possibly causing me to feel worse. Maybe it was stirring up to much in my system. So I said hey, I don’t take that much anyway I’m going to take a break. The last two days that I’ve been off the supplement, I’ve felt fairly good. I’ve had some more energy and stamina. This evening though, I decided it wasn’t worth getting sick so I restarted the med. I’m hoping that I caught it in time, if I ever get strep my psychological state sufferers. It has been suffering today like it does when I get exposed to strep. For whatever reason, something that I’ve noticed that will happen is I’ll get intrusive scary thoughts, like imagining myself getting hit by another car running through an intersection. I recognize that this isn’t normal and it isn’t exactly my normal either...thought I’ve had intrusive thoughts many times even for long periods. It mostly disappeared after I treated strep several months back.
Now...I just gotta catch up and make sure nothing can take hold! I prefer my head on my shoulders rather than up there in the fluffy clouds.
I started 5 drops of Biocidin, 1 teaspoon of vitamin C powder, 10,000 IU of Vit D, and a fair dose of vitamin A. Plus I gargled some salt water.
If I could get some sleep I think this bug wouldn’t have a chance !! So tonight, I’m praying for some zzz’s!!
Saturday, May 26, 2018
My Own Little Corner
This weekend has been rocky and it isn't even over yet. My brain has been scrambled eggs. I spent last night feeling OCD and depressed. I cried in the shower because I didn't know what else to do. I still don't know what to do. My brain wants to keep upsetting thoughts in circulation and important thoughts forgotten. The sadness and loneliness was unbearable.
I started the intake process with the school councilor last week. I go back this week for something, I think i get placed with a councilor. Im not entirely sure how it works, I just know I have to go back.
Getting the process started was so uncomfortable to me, I had to explain to the intake councilor about lyme disease and why it causes me such hassles. I used to not mind sharing my story but with how I feel these days I feel like so...sick of sharing. It feels like my business, not someone elses. But I did it, nothing bad came of it. He didn't try to tell me anything about lyme, he did of course bring up the CD C and wondered why they didn't do anything about it. I didn't entirely appreciate how he asked me about it, im the patient not the doctor. Why on earth would I honestly care about the CDC, I have a long list of complaints about the CDC but lets be real, the CDC recognizes the Flu, HIV, Tuberculosis, and a ton of other diseases but can a person with HIV be cured? No. Would I ask a person with HIV about the CDC not being able to treat them? No, it probably get looked at like I had lost my marbles.
But its fine. Ive made it this far. I keep telling myself that its time to seek professional help, I have lost so much enjoyment in life that I know I would have if I could just think straight. At this point Ill even try anti depressants and/or anxiety medication, not long ago I would have said I would never take those meds unless it was an emergency. But its time. I think anxiety is part of the reason my eating has been so bizarre and why I never feel like eating. I think depression and OCD are why I can't enjoy anything and why I never feel like anything is good enough. Its gotta change.
Lately I have not been feeling that bad at all-if I discount my emotional turmoil. I have had some back pain, other than that I haven't been hurting much. Fatigue has been significant but because of the OCD and things I haven't been able to sleep...the last two nights, with the help of meds, I have been able to sleep deeper. Today I have for sure had more energy.
Heart and blood pressure symptoms have been an issue, they are probably the only ones I have that aren't related to anxiety or depression related. They could be indirectly though. I just know that if my mood was stabilized and normalized I would probably be feeling great right now, or even more often.
It is hard for me to go the councilor route though, I don't bond with just anyone, I don't feel comfortable speaking to just anyone, and my brain fog will keep me from being able to speak my thoughts clearly. I am going to try to push through it. Currently the only people who know I am trying to pursue this is you guys that have found this blog online, two friends, and my mom. Thats it, I don't think ill change that anytime soon either.
Last night something really triggered me. I was speaking to my best friend and he told me he probably won't be able to go with me to Kansas again this year. I am trying to go back to the clinic in either August or December, so theres time to plan out ahead. Or so i thought. I don't want to keep going through treatment alone like I am. I want and need a friend with me. It takes a lot out of me by sitting in a hotel room listening to the world around me go round while I watch some tv show that I don't enjoy. It makes me feel so small and worthless knowing my friends and family are at home living their life, making money at work, hanging out with other people, and all I can do is keep the hotel bed planted on the floor.
I hate it. It made me feel a billion times better having my best friend with me last visit. I wasn't uncomfortable and I didn't feel so alienated from the living world. I had a friend with me, someone there just for me to see that I was okay. I was much more stable and well feeling having him with me....
I don't want to go back to my doctor at all if its just going to be me staring down the four walls between clinic visits.
I don't even have the energy to go off and go walking or anything after seeing the doctor usually, otherwise I would try to find things to do but its just not that easy....
Its hard for me to find encouragement. Its hard for me to get out of my own head. Its hard for me to trust anyone. Its hard to feel the love from those around me. Its hard to enjoy anything. Day to day activities have just become a distraction between sleeping.
I sure hope that hamster is enjoying its vacation from the wheel....
I started the intake process with the school councilor last week. I go back this week for something, I think i get placed with a councilor. Im not entirely sure how it works, I just know I have to go back.
Getting the process started was so uncomfortable to me, I had to explain to the intake councilor about lyme disease and why it causes me such hassles. I used to not mind sharing my story but with how I feel these days I feel like so...sick of sharing. It feels like my business, not someone elses. But I did it, nothing bad came of it. He didn't try to tell me anything about lyme, he did of course bring up the CD C and wondered why they didn't do anything about it. I didn't entirely appreciate how he asked me about it, im the patient not the doctor. Why on earth would I honestly care about the CDC, I have a long list of complaints about the CDC but lets be real, the CDC recognizes the Flu, HIV, Tuberculosis, and a ton of other diseases but can a person with HIV be cured? No. Would I ask a person with HIV about the CDC not being able to treat them? No, it probably get looked at like I had lost my marbles.
But its fine. Ive made it this far. I keep telling myself that its time to seek professional help, I have lost so much enjoyment in life that I know I would have if I could just think straight. At this point Ill even try anti depressants and/or anxiety medication, not long ago I would have said I would never take those meds unless it was an emergency. But its time. I think anxiety is part of the reason my eating has been so bizarre and why I never feel like eating. I think depression and OCD are why I can't enjoy anything and why I never feel like anything is good enough. Its gotta change.
Lately I have not been feeling that bad at all-if I discount my emotional turmoil. I have had some back pain, other than that I haven't been hurting much. Fatigue has been significant but because of the OCD and things I haven't been able to sleep...the last two nights, with the help of meds, I have been able to sleep deeper. Today I have for sure had more energy.
Heart and blood pressure symptoms have been an issue, they are probably the only ones I have that aren't related to anxiety or depression related. They could be indirectly though. I just know that if my mood was stabilized and normalized I would probably be feeling great right now, or even more often.
It is hard for me to go the councilor route though, I don't bond with just anyone, I don't feel comfortable speaking to just anyone, and my brain fog will keep me from being able to speak my thoughts clearly. I am going to try to push through it. Currently the only people who know I am trying to pursue this is you guys that have found this blog online, two friends, and my mom. Thats it, I don't think ill change that anytime soon either.
Last night something really triggered me. I was speaking to my best friend and he told me he probably won't be able to go with me to Kansas again this year. I am trying to go back to the clinic in either August or December, so theres time to plan out ahead. Or so i thought. I don't want to keep going through treatment alone like I am. I want and need a friend with me. It takes a lot out of me by sitting in a hotel room listening to the world around me go round while I watch some tv show that I don't enjoy. It makes me feel so small and worthless knowing my friends and family are at home living their life, making money at work, hanging out with other people, and all I can do is keep the hotel bed planted on the floor.
I hate it. It made me feel a billion times better having my best friend with me last visit. I wasn't uncomfortable and I didn't feel so alienated from the living world. I had a friend with me, someone there just for me to see that I was okay. I was much more stable and well feeling having him with me....
I don't want to go back to my doctor at all if its just going to be me staring down the four walls between clinic visits.
I don't even have the energy to go off and go walking or anything after seeing the doctor usually, otherwise I would try to find things to do but its just not that easy....
Its hard for me to find encouragement. Its hard for me to get out of my own head. Its hard for me to trust anyone. Its hard to feel the love from those around me. Its hard to enjoy anything. Day to day activities have just become a distraction between sleeping.
I sure hope that hamster is enjoying its vacation from the wheel....
Thursday, October 5, 2017
Hansa Round 5 days 1-2
I am going to go ahead and post about my doctors visits from today and yesterday, I know I still haven't posted my 4th visit to the clinic. Ill get to it one day.
Day 1-
Day 1-
OK so on to today's visit, #1 among all things from the doctors testing and my blood work-parasites. So again, we are at it treating those with new things, so far he hasn't said if they were digestive or blood parasites. As far as their effects, they are causing issues in my whole system not just something here or there.
Something unique that muscle testing can find is "attachments" or "entities", that's what he found on me today, negative energy attached to the parasites. The remedy he made for me was to clear the negativity from my system and disconnect the connection it had on me. This surprised me, yet didn't surprise me. I have been so dark and depressed...much more than ever before. After he gave me the remedy I felt happier, for the rest of the day I was able to laugh and have fun even though I felt garbagy still.
I have never had anyone tell me this before. Something interesting, last week I visited my friend who does muscle testing, shes been helping me out some since I have not been able to see my doctor. She couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, we ended up down meaningless rabbit trails, no answers, and I was completely untestable. We tried for two hours to figure out what was up in my system, nothing. We didn't check for attachments though, and thats what the test block was.
He made a new remedy for those today, once again this is a completely new and different treatment than before. In other words we are treating a different aspect of the whole parasitic, its not necessarily anything new as far as infections go. Parasites take a while to get rid of because they are very unique, bacteria and virus are hard but in their own separate aspect. If you have a strong functioning immune system, you wont pickup a virus or bacteria, and if you do they wont be capable of sticking in your system for long.
Lyme disease is a bacteria and it is hard to get rid of because it is capable of disarming and destroying immune cells, infecting the entire body but nonetheless it can be killed.
Here's what makes parasites unique, they are a living breathing multicellular organism just like an animal. They are capable of harboring their own set of bacteria, virus, metals, just like people. Parasites have their own brain, blood system, and digestive system unlike bacteria and virus. So when a person becomes infected with parasites and takes a treatment, the parasites are killed but then they release whatever pathogens or toxins they were carrying. You can take a standard X drug for Y parasite for years, you will never be able to kill every single one of them with a drug and you will have strong side effects from the dying parasites.
In the way I am being treated, the side effects, the parasites, and the communication between my body and the parasites are being addressed.
That's another thing that makes parasites unique, they have to have a host to survive. When they infect a person or an animal, they release chemicals that stop your body from recognizing them so they can fly under the radar. So the communication aspect has to be addressed as well, you will never find a standard doctor or naturopath capable of treating this. It takes a specialized doctor like mine who can do specialized testing to see what the pathogens are doing and what will stop them, there is no set protocol for this. Its mostly homeopathic treatment to disconnect the connection of the parasites to my system, herbs and drugs will mainly just kill. The thing is, you cant just kill parasites, they become resistant and they hide. They can even incase themselves in cysts which can't be killed.
So that was the majority of todays appointment, he made one remedy to cover everything involved with the parasitic ordeal, tomorrow he will test again to see what else needs to be done. My body actually tested at saturation today, which means we covered everything possible for the day-no more. My doctor said that is a pretty big deal because that means this new treatment is powerful enough to negate everything else.
Lyme disease is a bacteria and it is hard to get rid of because it is capable of disarming and destroying immune cells, infecting the entire body but nonetheless it can be killed.
Here's what makes parasites unique, they are a living breathing multicellular organism just like an animal. They are capable of harboring their own set of bacteria, virus, metals, just like people. Parasites have their own brain, blood system, and digestive system unlike bacteria and virus. So when a person becomes infected with parasites and takes a treatment, the parasites are killed but then they release whatever pathogens or toxins they were carrying. You can take a standard X drug for Y parasite for years, you will never be able to kill every single one of them with a drug and you will have strong side effects from the dying parasites.
In the way I am being treated, the side effects, the parasites, and the communication between my body and the parasites are being addressed.
That's another thing that makes parasites unique, they have to have a host to survive. When they infect a person or an animal, they release chemicals that stop your body from recognizing them so they can fly under the radar. So the communication aspect has to be addressed as well, you will never find a standard doctor or naturopath capable of treating this. It takes a specialized doctor like mine who can do specialized testing to see what the pathogens are doing and what will stop them, there is no set protocol for this. Its mostly homeopathic treatment to disconnect the connection of the parasites to my system, herbs and drugs will mainly just kill. The thing is, you cant just kill parasites, they become resistant and they hide. They can even incase themselves in cysts which can't be killed.
So that was the majority of todays appointment, he made one remedy to cover everything involved with the parasitic ordeal, tomorrow he will test again to see what else needs to be done. My body actually tested at saturation today, which means we covered everything possible for the day-no more. My doctor said that is a pretty big deal because that means this new treatment is powerful enough to negate everything else.
He also worked on the hernia, he felt around my stomach and said that my diaphragm was swollen to the point that it was covering my stomach. In a regular hiatal hernia the stomach get stuck in the bottom of the diaphragm, so by pulling the stomach down you correct the hernia. In my case its the reverse, my diaphragm is swollen and veering my stomach. He adjusted it and did some facial release using the percussor, then he used hyssop oil on it to bring down the inflammation. Again he will check it tomorrow, but after all he did today it may finally be a done deal. He told me I need to continue using the hyssop for a while to prevent it from coming back, so that will be something I do once I get home.
As far as blood results go, this round is fairly different than before in how they've changed. For the first time vitamin D is good, cholesterol is closer to where it should be, white blood cell count is higher meaning my immune system is actually beginning to work on its own, but I did hit a new extreme on easonifils which is the parasite marker. He said its rare to see it as high as mine is, so we know for sure that we are chasing the right rabbit trail. My kidneys are showing some stress also, other than those two things I don't have a bad report.
With as bad as I have felt the past couple of months I was expecting worse for my blood scores, and the parasite markers are pretty bad. But that's it, Lyme itself is not showing up so far, that's a big positive. Neither are any other tick borne infections that I have, doesn't mean they aren't there it just means they aren't a problem right now.
Tomorrow ill find out what else we can find to correct, I'm fairly satisfied for today's visit because it was entirely new stuff as far as what's actually happening in my body and new treatment.
Day 2-
Today was another productive visit at the doctors office. We worked on parasites again, this time with focus on the side affects of the parasites themselves. He found that the parasites are disrupting my mitochondria, causing me to be tired all the time. Plus he found some tie ins to my stomach and hormones.
He found I need a dopamine, serotonin, and pregnenolone booster to counteract the side affects. Plus he added something for me to take to support my adrenals during this time. The adrenals are what make a significant portion of your hormones, plus they make energy. By supporting my adrenals in addition to treating the other issues it adds a boost to my body as a whole.
He also added a neuro anti-inflammatory supplement, because the parasite toxins are setting off my brain and nervous system. So this tied with the dopamine and serotonin, this will help with my terrible brain fog.
The pregnenolone is tied into the adrenal pathway, so that is what the purpose of this hormone.
He found I need a dopamine, serotonin, and pregnenolone booster to counteract the side affects. Plus he added something for me to take to support my adrenals during this time. The adrenals are what make a significant portion of your hormones, plus they make energy. By supporting my adrenals in addition to treating the other issues it adds a boost to my body as a whole.
He also added a neuro anti-inflammatory supplement, because the parasite toxins are setting off my brain and nervous system. So this tied with the dopamine and serotonin, this will help with my terrible brain fog.
The pregnenolone is tied into the adrenal pathway, so that is what the purpose of this hormone.
Most of this is new for me, several years ago I did a dopamine booster and it didn't help me much. This is the first time that my body has tested well for any direct neurotransmitter(brain chemical) support, in other words this is a new layer being corrected that we haven't been able to reach.
Pregnenolone is also new for me, I am interested to see how this makes me feel before long.
Pregnenolone is also new for me, I am interested to see how this makes me feel before long.
I feel pretty worn out today, my brain fog is just making everything difficult.
I see the doc again tomorrow, then I will be headed home.
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Allergy Flare
It's been a little while since I have posted much. Before I was feeling well so I didn't have anything to say. The last few weeks on the other hand, I haven't had much to say because I haven't felt great.
I haven't been doing bad, just haven't been myself.
Something must be blooming outside, because my nose is running a marathon. I have reached Squirel hoarding status with my tissue stash...haha
Lately I've just been feeling a little under the weather and just not totally present. The lights are on but nobody's home. The allergies have also been keeping me awake, solid awake through the night. This past night I officially went to sleep at 5:30am, then woke up fully awake about 11:20. I woke up a few times or maybe even several times, and that's what seems to be the routine at the moment.
I have been taking HistaBlock from Natures Sunshine, but my bottle has run out. Allergies are a little unusual for me, so I don't keep anything on hand. Even in my oils, nothing good. Haha, I think this this is a sign I am not prepared for everything, I used to have a bottle of anything I needed back in the old days. I guess this is a good sign I haven't needed as much, that's a plus.
It's just been like I'm in a fog, my brain isn't here. Like I can sit with someone and miss everything they said or forget they are even there altogether. That's unusual for me. It's normal for me to forget what someone says to me, but miss it altogether...not cool.
On another note. I finished my supplements last Tuesday, until I go back to Hansa. I do have to continue on one remedy for parasites until I return, but other than that I'm free.
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Now a Cold
Guess what you guys, I'm sick again....
This is stupid. I had the flu three weeks ago. Now I have a cold.
Since Christmas I have had at least one infection a month if not two. Why on earth is this happening??
I overall have been doing so well since coming back from the Hansa Center, but I cannot stay well. My Lyme disease symptoms overall are better, but my immune system cannot stop a cold.
This time around with whatever bug this is, my Lyme symptoms are flaring. My skin is burning, abdomen is in pain, nauseas, my leg is locked up, and so on and on and on...
Situation=Frustrated
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
I Would Like to Ask for Something
As you all have seen I follow many blogs, at some point I think I've mentioned most of them. A few months ago I posted about one blog in particular, Ticks and Trust. This blog is written by a Canadian mom who also battles Lyme disease and several co-infections. Several years ago her son Parker was also bitten. Shannon has since been able to better than when she had a full blown set of infections constantly. Parker however has not been able to become assymptomatic. He reached remission once, but the pain never fully went away. Now he is doing worse and nothing seems to be making him well.
The faith and confidance in of this family has been challenged so hard. I think many of the people who read my blog understand what it's like to he chronically ill because most of them probably are. But this family, nearly all of them have been Lyme positive at some point. Nearly all of them have been through Lyme treatment. They have all had to deal with trying to find a doctor to treat them, which has turned into multiple doctors and multiple treatments. Shannon's oldest and youngest are doing well how, but her middle child Parker only knows suffering at this point.
I would like to ask for prayers for the Goertzen family. I know what it's like to be the sick kid whose just held back by everything, thinking about other kids like Parker who are much worse than I ever was just makes my heart break.
I wish I had some other way to help them in addition to our prayers, but this time all I have to offer is my own hope in God that one day he will he ok. Parker will be a new person and when he comes out of this darkness he lives under he will be able to look back and find the positive things that happened in his long journey.
I am personally praying he will never lose faith that he will be okay and all of this happens for a reason, it's not God trying to torture him in any way.
Here is a link to the most recent post.
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
The faith and confidance in of this family has been challenged so hard. I think many of the people who read my blog understand what it's like to he chronically ill because most of them probably are. But this family, nearly all of them have been Lyme positive at some point. Nearly all of them have been through Lyme treatment. They have all had to deal with trying to find a doctor to treat them, which has turned into multiple doctors and multiple treatments. Shannon's oldest and youngest are doing well how, but her middle child Parker only knows suffering at this point.
I would like to ask for prayers for the Goertzen family. I know what it's like to be the sick kid whose just held back by everything, thinking about other kids like Parker who are much worse than I ever was just makes my heart break.
I wish I had some other way to help them in addition to our prayers, but this time all I have to offer is my own hope in God that one day he will he ok. Parker will be a new person and when he comes out of this darkness he lives under he will be able to look back and find the positive things that happened in his long journey.
I am personally praying he will never lose faith that he will be okay and all of this happens for a reason, it's not God trying to torture him in any way.
Here is a link to the most recent post.
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Christmas Eve already!
I cannot believe that it is Christmas eve already! It feels like yesterday was Thanksgiving...time flys
I am still sick, runny nose, tired, and side pain. The symptoms are the worst in the morning becoming more tolerable throughout the day. I just keep drinking Cold Eze tea and swallowing essential oil pills. Its making a difference but its been hard trying to get ahead of this. Definitely easier last time I was sick.
Because of my sinuses draining into my stomach I haven't felt like eating at all. Its just uncomfortable and the kidney infection probably is not helping. The slippery elm blend tea is making a difference in my side pains. They typically diminish within a short time of drinking it. So if anything that's one symptom that isn't too unbearable.
I am still sick, runny nose, tired, and side pain. The symptoms are the worst in the morning becoming more tolerable throughout the day. I just keep drinking Cold Eze tea and swallowing essential oil pills. Its making a difference but its been hard trying to get ahead of this. Definitely easier last time I was sick.
Because of my sinuses draining into my stomach I haven't felt like eating at all. Its just uncomfortable and the kidney infection probably is not helping. The slippery elm blend tea is making a difference in my side pains. They typically diminish within a short time of drinking it. So if anything that's one symptom that isn't too unbearable.
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