Shower thoughts-April Flowers Bring May Showers Part 2

I wasn’t planning on writing a part two to this post, but turns out I have some more things that relate to the title.

It’s been raining here a lot lately and the flowers are blooming. My plum tree is growing plums for the first time, the grass is turning green again. Looks nice. Sounds nice. It all came with a surprise this year, severe allergies. The sniffles have come in full blown but that’s not the bad part. This time around I got a nasty case of fatigue and brain fog too. I’m back to being lost in the sky with diamonds. 

Sadly I don’t even know what to do for it. Stockpiles upon stock piles of supplements and meds, I don’t even know what to do about this. Unlike normal allergies, I have no relief. Usually when the seasonal allergies show up I stay inside, take a shower, and wear clean clothes. I’ll have no issue unless I spend too much time outside. I have almost wondered if I caught a bug, but I don’t feel sick and I’m not running a temperature. It doesn’t feel like regular allergies though *he says pretending like there is such thing as regular*

The flowers are blooming and the tissue industry is booming. Not cool! *sigh* life goes on, I’ll forget half this stuff from the brain fog anyway so I’m not sweating over this. I just gotta get through the last couple weeks of school before I crash. School is going well though, for that I count my blessings. 

Life has been frustrating lately.  I’m selling my Volvo, which is good and I’m excited. I feel like I have finally learned something out side of the Normal box for me. I expended a lot of energy I didn’t even know I had. All sorts of positives with this. School is about to end the semester and it looks like I’ve done well in all my classes. Again positive. 

So what gives?? Work hasn’t been too bad, not perfect but could be far worse.

Where is the enjoyment?? Why can’t I wake up and smile instead of wake up and say “oh crap I’m still here”. I have some very positive friends who smile a lot and their world always seems like cotton candy and rainbows even when it isn’t, it’s all in their mentality. I used to be able to smile through the worst of things and make it through stronger. Where’d that go?? I miss the me that did that, what’s confusing is I don’t even know when I stopped being like that.

So many things rattling my brain, but it’s fine. I’m fine. It’s all fine.

*where did that hamster go....sigh*

Allergy Flare

It's been a little while since I have posted much. Before I was feeling well so I didn't have anything to say. The last few weeks on the other hand, I haven't had much to say because I haven't felt great.

I haven't been doing bad, just haven't been myself.

Something must be blooming outside, because my nose is running a marathon. I have reached Squirel hoarding status with my tissue stash...haha

Lately I've just been feeling a little under the weather and just not totally present. The lights are on but nobody's home. The allergies have also been keeping me awake, solid awake through the night. This past night I officially went to sleep at 5:30am, then woke up fully awake about 11:20. I woke up a few times or maybe even several times, and that's what seems to be the routine at the moment.

I have been taking HistaBlock from Natures Sunshine, but my bottle has run out. Allergies are a little unusual for me, so I don't keep anything on hand. Even in my oils, nothing good. Haha, I think this this is a sign I am not prepared for everything, I used to have a bottle of anything I needed back in the old days. I guess this is a good sign I haven't needed as much, that's a plus.

It's just been like I'm in a fog, my brain isn't here. Like I can sit with someone and miss everything they said or forget they are even there altogether. That's unusual for me. It's normal for me to forget what someone says to me, but miss it altogether...not cool.

On another note. I finished my supplements last Tuesday, until I go back to Hansa. I do have to continue on one remedy for parasites until I return, but other than that I'm free.

I Don't Know What to Expect

I leave for Hansa in just a few days! I am getting excited. I could finally start the beginning to the end of my chronic lyme disease and co-infections.

I cannot even fathom living without these symptoms. Whats it even like??
*flashback time*

I contracted lyme and co's in 2010, we think. I was bitten by a tick for sure. I saw it with my own eyes. This wasn't the beginning of my symptoms however.
I have had some form of insomnia my entire life, when I was a baby it took a long time for me to fall asleep and I never napped. (so I have been told)
I have also had fatigue and low motivation for as long as I can remember. I don't know when it began, it just became intolerable after my tick bite.
When I was around eight years old my parents took me to an allergist who started me on allergy shots. I hated the idea then and I hate that I did it now.
The doctor said my fatigue was caused by allergies. According to their skin prick test I was allergic to dogs, cats, grass, pollen, milk slightly, and mold off the charts.
My parents went with it. Seeing as I didn't have much of a choice in the matter, I hoped for the best.

Around six years later I finished completely with the doctor and the shots, haven't seen him since.
Guess what? It didn't make much of a difference in how I felt. According to their skin prick test I was less reactive to the allergens, so the shots did something. Yet I felt the same.
Interesting right?

I am not saying I have had lyme since I was a little kid, but something has been wrong with my body and the cause is unknown. It could have been candida, parasites, food allergies, diet, or something else.

The point of this story, I don't know what normal feels like. I have always been tired and I have never slept.

Anyway, back to the present.

I begin treatment with a real doctor who has seen hundred or thousands of people just like me. I like that. In my life my pediatrician, allergist, DO, and ND have all said "I don't know" when it comes to my disease. While we didn't know about the lyme, RMSF, and babesia when I last saw the allergist or the pediatrician I was tired. They didn't have an answer.

Now I am going to see a doctor who understands, he's been in my place. That alone is valuable, I don't care what other credentials a doctor has. Understanding is one of the most import qualities a doctor can possess.

I don't expect to be cured or in remission after two weeks. That's just too unreasonable.
I do expect to have a treatment plan and guidance, I have never had a good one. I think the consistency in treatment will help me if anything.

My one goal I personally want to achieve with these upcoming two weeks is to be able to be able to eat and exercise.
I am a six foot four inch tall teenage boy. I should be able to eat!! I consume maybe 1,000 calories on a good day. I weigh about 137 pounds last I checked. To give you an idea of how large my arms are, I can reach my fingers around my arm, top to bottom. Easy. I do not have any muscle left. Exercise is just not possible for me.

Teenage guys have energy. They workout and make a point to look decent to other people(well...some). They are conscious of what they look like, not necessarily to impress anyone. Just look good.
Ha, not me man. My only attempt I make is to not look like I just walked out of bed when I go out in public. If I look that good, I exceeded my goal.

I have made attempts at starting a light exercise regimen so many times in the past its ridiculous.
Stretching was the first thing I tried, I stuck with it the longest I think. I would just do a basic warm up and basic stretching for about half an hour a few times a week. This was around the time I first went to the ND and was doing better before I got worse again and went to the DO.
Since then I have tried doing reps of just 2-3 pushups and sit-up plus a few other exercises mixed in. Several times I have been able to keep at it a while, a few days a week for a few weeks or month.
I just cannot keep it up though, I crash.
Its like my muscles and connective tissues cannot rebuild and repair themselves well. Now my joints and muscles are the strangest they have ever been(for lack of a better term).  My knees will come out of joint and pop back in randomly, my fingers do the same, plus muscles spasms/cramps and they are just harder to control.
This is a newer symptom for sure. I am sure it has something to do with my body not being able to function properly. Not being able to eat enough its probably related to this also.

SO that's what I really want to get from the two weeks. If I can fuel my body and use it, I know I will be able to get myself to a better health standard.
Overall I expect much more to happen from two weeks of intensive treatment but this is the starting point I want to accomplish.

Three days until I leave!!