Anxiety and Endoscopy

This week has yet to have a dull moment, I’ll just start off by saying that!

Over the last weekend I got super sick with I’m not sure what. Eating became more difficult and I had some horrible bouts of anxiety I have never known before. 

Saturday night I lost it. I was sick. My whole body was shaking, I was crying, I was texting a friend and mixing up worlds but didn’t realize it, it was bad. 

Then Sunday night I had another anxiety attack. I was laying in bed, decided to get up. I stood up and froze, all I could do was cling to my night stand and just stand there. I was able to slowly begin creeping my way across the room holding onto things but it was very difficult. I have never had anything like that before. I have had anxiety before but I’ve never lost control of my body like that.

One of my friends called me to help with the anxiety. I stayed in bed, she called me over FaceTime and just spoke to me. I would text her my response and she would speak to me over the phone. It was law at night and I didn’t want to disturb any of my family members. It was so so kind of her to do that. She’s been a great friend. 

She herself deals with depression and anxiety, so her and I understand what the other goes through very well. 

It was a scary night though....very distressing. I could feel my blood pressure go up and my heart was racing. 

I tried to do a guided meditation but I kept feeling like someone was touching my face even though I was alone...no idea what that was about. Long night to say the least.

Monday night was not much different. Shaking, crying, anxiety, paranoia, brain fog, all at once. It didn’t last as long as Sunday nights event. 

This caused me to be worn out on Tuesday...

All of this has been very mentally taxing for me. I’m working on trying to get to the root cause of all of this. 

I know it’s got to be related to my stomach. All of this happens when my stomach starts hurting and getting bent out of shape. 

I tested myself on the biofeedback machine at work, it said I was stress towards a duadenal tumor and e.coli...

This doesn’t mean I have either of those. But it does mean I have been storing a lot of my stress in my gut and that I need to be managing my stress better than I am.

The machine also said kidney cancer from unresolved emotional conflict. 

I wanted to tell the computer thank you for recognizing all my crazy emotions as legitimate. Not gonna lie. But again, kidney cancer wasn’t exactly what I wanted to see.

The bio machine does say cancer just all the time any time. So it’s not something I find reason to totally ignore, but I’m not going to jump off my block saying I’m loaded with cancer because it says so. 

Then Tuesday I saw my chiropractor and spoke to her about what lab tests I need to talk to my doctor about. During the conversation she said she had a patient who had a stomach tumor with very similar symptoms to me...and that it could be possible. Her vote is that I have an ulcer though....

Another symptom I’m having is random high blood pressure. I tested my bp Tuesday afternoon-148/100. Rather high according to the doctor I work for especially considering I was not having anxiety at the time.

My chiropractor said her patient had a tumor pressing on an artery causing BP fluctioms randomly. 

Then on Wednesday I saw my regular doctor who I eat infusions from. She started me on sucralfate to help with the digestive pain(not my preference but I have to do something). She also mentioned the possibility of a tumor. She didn’t seem so convinced of an ulcer, but her opinion was I need a GI scope to get a real idea of what’s happening. So she sent me to see a GI doc.

Leading us up to today! Getting tired yet?

I met with the GI doc. He talked to me about supplements...I gave him the simplest minimalist explanation of what I take as I possibly could have. I was not in the mood to be looked at like I’ve lost my mind. He told me to stop my supplements because they aren’t working (yea probably won’t follow this, I didn’t explain what all I have wrong with me). 

He didn’t give an opinion of what could be wrong but he did say we have to do an endoscopy to see what’s happening.

So next week, I’m going to get a camera stuck down my throat and get my stomach looked at. 

Maybe it’s a tumor, maybe it’s an ulcer, or maybe an inevtiom it a hernia....I don’t care what it is at this point I just want to know what’s wrong.

I’ll have to go under anesthesia for this, which scares me a lot. Last time I was under anesthesia I woke up with a full blown Lyme infection (first time). I really don’t want this procedure to set off a cascade of symptoms...I really don’t want this to be a big deal. 

I just want to be able to eat. I went to take my supplements this morning and I projectile vomited them back into my hand. Never had that happen before. Swallowing has gotten difficult for some reason. I used to be able to eat and drink just fine. I could swallow 20 pills at once and be fine. Not the case anymore.

So next few days...I should have some kind of news. 

I’ll be saying a lot of prayers the next couple of days as well..

Looking Forward

During the last week a good bit has been going on in my life, good and bad.

Last weekend I had the flu, I'm still trying to regain my energy. 

A few days ago I spoke to Dr.Jowdy for my one month update. He is very pleased with my progress.

At the moment I am trying to keep up with using the sauna. When I was on my trip I could not use it, several days in the last week I've had something come up and not had the time to get in...

So I am trying to get back on track with that, originally Dr.J recommend 3X a week. I would say overall I do closer to 5 days a week.

Today was the first time to use it since the weekend. I set it to 150F, got in at 130F, stayed in almost 40 minutes and when I got out it was 140F. So I did longer than usual and hotter than usual, it made a difference. I was not expecting anything much but I truly and honestly felt less fatigued after getting out. 

Of course half an hour at over 100 degrees I was kinda gross, I went straight to the showers after that!!

After my shower I decided I would continue my roll and make some juice and a smoothie. I needed rehydrating for sure. I made a larger juice and a larger smoothie than normal, along with 5 caps of Betaine HCL. 

I started the HCL last week, still tweaking the dose. I did a stomach acid test and found my stomach is not producing acid well, this leads to me not absorbing food as well. 

All in all and the added acid leaves me with less stomach discomfort after eating. When I eat it always feels like a rock is stuck in my stomach for hours. Even water does this. 

I haven't tried more than 6 capsules yet because I'm a little fearful...I've heard it's very painful if you take to much acid. I know I still need to reach a higher dose. I drank that smoothie an hour ago and I still feel it loud and clear. 

I mentioned already I spoke to my doctor. Between visits he told me to shoot him an email update with any questions and what's going on. 

The summary of how I'm doing is this-fatigue, insomnia, and concentration are still resistant. They are holding on strong. I am not sleeping as well as I did when I was staying at the clinic. That sleep only lasted a few days after leaving. Fatigue has been much better than before on average.

His response was its probably heavy metals I'm still detoxing. He recommended a product called Chelex to help detoxify those.

(Note this is a fraction of what I said and how he responded)

I am excited to go back to the HC, I am doing much better than before. I am not hasitling over trying to find a new herb or treatment to try on myself. I am truly healthier than I was pre-Hansa treatment.

But I still have work to do. My sleep is not consistent, my fatigue is holding on, and my concentration is all over the place. Plus I still can't exercise(which I forgot to mention to Dr.J...)

I don't know how many visits it will take. I hope it only takes this one more in a month but who knows. I am trying to stay focused on my life and my progress more so how much longer I will have to be visiting doctors and taking pills and remedies.

Guess What!

 Hey you guys!
I just came back from a school trip to the beach! It was so nice to get away, even if school was involved the whole time it was still great.

During this trip I remained on all meds but couldn't do the sauna at all or detox baths. The amazing thing is I feel better now than before I left. My acne is 98% clear, my energy and motivation is way up,  and wait for it....I've been sleeping almost like a normal person. Who else is shocked?? Get this, I ate junk all week long. The only healthy foods I ate were oranges. That's it, the rest was sandwiches, processed meat, synthetic crap foods(think chips/cheese puffs/yogurt), and cereal. I even had plain old processed, pasteurized cow milk on my cereal in the morning.

If you aren't surprised of my progress after that I'll be shocked again...

I have no idea what did it. Could have been the positive energy and the adrenalin (my first guess), all of the sunlight, being in a different environment, or even simply because I didn't dwell on the fact I was eating nutrientless food.
I noticed I was feeling different and acne clearing probably the second day. I didn't really get into the sun until the fourth and fifth day so I know it isn't fully responsible.

Ya know what though? I don't question it. I feel better, I exercised and played soccer with minimal inhibitance (even impressed someone), and I have been able to wake up early and go to bed on time without issue. Not seeing a problem here.

I praise God for this improvement and protection from the toxins that can harm my progress.

I Don't Know What to Expect

I leave for Hansa in just a few days! I am getting excited. I could finally start the beginning to the end of my chronic lyme disease and co-infections.

I cannot even fathom living without these symptoms. Whats it even like??
*flashback time*

I contracted lyme and co's in 2010, we think. I was bitten by a tick for sure. I saw it with my own eyes. This wasn't the beginning of my symptoms however.
I have had some form of insomnia my entire life, when I was a baby it took a long time for me to fall asleep and I never napped. (so I have been told)
I have also had fatigue and low motivation for as long as I can remember. I don't know when it began, it just became intolerable after my tick bite.
When I was around eight years old my parents took me to an allergist who started me on allergy shots. I hated the idea then and I hate that I did it now.
The doctor said my fatigue was caused by allergies. According to their skin prick test I was allergic to dogs, cats, grass, pollen, milk slightly, and mold off the charts.
My parents went with it. Seeing as I didn't have much of a choice in the matter, I hoped for the best.

Around six years later I finished completely with the doctor and the shots, haven't seen him since.
Guess what? It didn't make much of a difference in how I felt. According to their skin prick test I was less reactive to the allergens, so the shots did something. Yet I felt the same.
Interesting right?

I am not saying I have had lyme since I was a little kid, but something has been wrong with my body and the cause is unknown. It could have been candida, parasites, food allergies, diet, or something else.

The point of this story, I don't know what normal feels like. I have always been tired and I have never slept.

Anyway, back to the present.

I begin treatment with a real doctor who has seen hundred or thousands of people just like me. I like that. In my life my pediatrician, allergist, DO, and ND have all said "I don't know" when it comes to my disease. While we didn't know about the lyme, RMSF, and babesia when I last saw the allergist or the pediatrician I was tired. They didn't have an answer.

Now I am going to see a doctor who understands, he's been in my place. That alone is valuable, I don't care what other credentials a doctor has. Understanding is one of the most import qualities a doctor can possess.

I don't expect to be cured or in remission after two weeks. That's just too unreasonable.
I do expect to have a treatment plan and guidance, I have never had a good one. I think the consistency in treatment will help me if anything.

My one goal I personally want to achieve with these upcoming two weeks is to be able to be able to eat and exercise.
I am a six foot four inch tall teenage boy. I should be able to eat!! I consume maybe 1,000 calories on a good day. I weigh about 137 pounds last I checked. To give you an idea of how large my arms are, I can reach my fingers around my arm, top to bottom. Easy. I do not have any muscle left. Exercise is just not possible for me.

Teenage guys have energy. They workout and make a point to look decent to other people(well...some). They are conscious of what they look like, not necessarily to impress anyone. Just look good.
Ha, not me man. My only attempt I make is to not look like I just walked out of bed when I go out in public. If I look that good, I exceeded my goal.

I have made attempts at starting a light exercise regimen so many times in the past its ridiculous.
Stretching was the first thing I tried, I stuck with it the longest I think. I would just do a basic warm up and basic stretching for about half an hour a few times a week. This was around the time I first went to the ND and was doing better before I got worse again and went to the DO.
Since then I have tried doing reps of just 2-3 pushups and sit-up plus a few other exercises mixed in. Several times I have been able to keep at it a while, a few days a week for a few weeks or month.
I just cannot keep it up though, I crash.
Its like my muscles and connective tissues cannot rebuild and repair themselves well. Now my joints and muscles are the strangest they have ever been(for lack of a better term).  My knees will come out of joint and pop back in randomly, my fingers do the same, plus muscles spasms/cramps and they are just harder to control.
This is a newer symptom for sure. I am sure it has something to do with my body not being able to function properly. Not being able to eat enough its probably related to this also.

SO that's what I really want to get from the two weeks. If I can fuel my body and use it, I know I will be able to get myself to a better health standard.
Overall I expect much more to happen from two weeks of intensive treatment but this is the starting point I want to accomplish.

Three days until I leave!!

Christmas has Begun!

Thanksgiving is now over, the Christmas season has begun! More radio stations are playing Christmas music, the neighbors are putting up their decorations, and I am starting to get excited :)

I, being chronically ill, usually feel worse in the colder winter months. Its cold, I stay inside, and overall it is just a more stressful time for me. December through March or so are the worst...This year, I want to make this change. I have plans this December, I don't want to feel nasty and depressed.
I have decided to challenge myself. Beginning today I plan on making sure I do everything I can from diet to detox to supplements, to feel better for Christmas.

In one of my previous posts I mentioned that me and food, don't get along well. Its not that I don't like eating, my stomach just doesn't like food...I eat all the time, I just don't seem to absorb it.
Juicing has always been my best food in the past, if I juice consistently I can guarantee I will feel a little better. Sometimes a lot better, sometimes just less dead. Either way, I take it :) better is sometimes the only option with this disease.

Starting today, I am going drink at least one homemade juice daily, drink a protein shake daily, and consume 3 healthy meals a day made from whole foods. I know this will make me feel better, even if its just a little bit.
I am going to post recipes and tips on how to eat healthy, even on the crappy days when I don't want to get out of bed. I want to feel good at least one day before the year is over, and by gosh I am going to make it happen!!

So here it is, the beginning of Operation feel good for Christmas.
Broccoli, sweat potato, zucchini, apple, lemon, and Brussels Sprout juice!

Yum! :)

 

This is just the beginning, I will have more to share later on!

 

I also want to challenge anyone else suffering from chronic illness. It can be anything, doesn't have to be juicing daily or a diet change. I just want to challenge others to do what it takes, just for a few weeks so they can get a short break from the extremes of our sickness. While I totally recommend a healthier diet and juicing for anyone with any ailment, its just not an option for everyone. Smoothies, soups, beans, and nuts are other great foods to ensure a better diet, just a thought for anyone who is considering the challenge and does not want to buy a juicer.

 

Why Diet is Important

     A few posts ago I wrote about my views on Lyme treatment, and some things that can be done to boost the immune system. In that post I spoke a lot on what should be eliminated from our diets. Today I want to talk about what we should add to our diet!
     What we eat is just as important as what we avoid eating. We can avoid all of the chemicals we want, but if empty calories are what replaces the chemicals its really not much of a difference.
Bread, pasta, cereal, jam, jelly, grits, cornbread, and potatoes are examples of foods most of us eat on a frequent basis.

    All of these foods can be prepared with minimal chemicals. The catch is, they have very little nutrient value. Then on top of these nutrient empty staples, we have the calorie counting/no fat bandwagon. Our bodies do not count calories, or even use them. The calorie is a unit of measure. The small calorie is the amount of energy it takes to heat one gram of water, one degree Celsius. The large calorie is the amount of energy needed to heat one kilogram of water by one degree, Celsius.
 
    Our brains are about 60% fat. Brain tissue is created from essential fatty acids. How is brain tissue supposed to be created without its building blocks? I don't know. Hard to make something without the correct ingredients in my opinion...

   Our bodies are built from minerals, protein, and vitamins. Calories have their time and place, they aren't useless. If building your immune system is a goal, look at the nutritional information instead.
Our bones are built from calcium, phosphorus, and magnesium, plus trace minerals. In fact our bones are the stores for minerals. They can be weakened as a result of a mineral deficient diet.
Calcium and phosphorus are found in dairy products like milk, yogurt, and kefir. People drink milk all the time, great right? Not if its pasteurized. The pasteurization process destroys nutrients according to Dr.Weston Price, A dentist from the 1920's. Dr. Price discovered something in the native groups of Alaska, Switzerland, and Australia. The people would never get cavities. Their bodies are capable of rebuilding their teeth, because they consume the building blocks to do so!
Dr. Price went looking for support of a vegan, plant based diet. He couldn't find it. He found that the diet of these people was primarily meat products.
The people of these native tribes typically never connected with the outside, modern world. They were completely self sustaining. These people were not influenced by the no fat, low calorie, plant based diet fad.
     
     Whenever I search for the internet for advice to improve my diet, vegan and vegetarianism are some of the first hits. A diet must be better without meat by what the research shows, right? Dr. Price found the opposite. The natives, who ate primarily meat, had a very low instance of disease, birth defects were few and far between,  cavities were rare (especially in the Australians), and had non-existent crime. I've never heard anyone say any of this about potatoes or cabbage. You?

    What was different about their meat and dairy from ours is this. They didn't pasteurize anything, the animals were farm raised on their natural diet, and to preserve food they fermented it. If milk needed to be preserved it was turned into cheese or yogurt. Both of these food products in their natural state (no dyes, preservatives, etc.. ) are high in the nutrients we need to survive. Vitamin K2, for example, is something that is diminishing from our diet. Cultured dairy products contain K2 in beneficial amounts, no longer found in their processed cousins...

    The natives also ate organ meats, and knew which organs were beneficial for certain ailments.  Organ meats are loaded with nutrients. The adrenals are high in vit.C, and the liver in vit.A, for examples. The vitamin A from meat is also a different form than from fruits/vegetables, retinol instead of beta carotene. Beta carotene has to be converted into retinol to be used by the body. The animal has already done that! Here's an example-
Imagine the a cow. The cow eats grass, its body breaks the nutrients down, then uses them to build  their tissues. We are capable of the same process, but we can also eat the animal, who has already broken apart the nutrients. There is always more than one method to accomplish a goal.

    The above is just the beginning of creating a well balanced diet. I didn't even talk about the benefits of bone broth, soups/stews, kefir, or eggs.
As a society we definitely need to consume more plants than we do, but I think we discount the health benefits of meat. Plant foods are invaluable to our health, I will make a post about them in the future. One example of fruit/vegetable benefits I like is this found here.

There is just so much to be said about diet! I could have gone on forever but decided this was enough for today :)