Thankful for the Pain

In All Things
I praise God for my life and the contents of it. I praise God for my life. I praise God for this unique opportunity to learn that is unlike no other, that we here on earth call Lyme disease. I thank my heavenly Father for my body, even though my body and I often have different dreams and aspirations for the day ahead. We tend to be polar opposites in fact, I would love to go on an adventure or go out with some friends. Or even tackle a long list of cleaning chores I would love to accomplish to declutter my drawers and closet. My body prefers to...how should I say it...use its louder voice, and tell me to tighten the reigns on some of these aspirations instead. I still fight it, I may want to organize my dresser or my nightstand and end up doing only 1 drawer. In my mind I still won, just don't tell my body that.

I praise Him who has given me the ability of communication. He has given me a gift in understanding others and relating to their circumstances better. I know He has allowed me to touch many other lives throughout my journey and helped me to be able to ease the pain of others. Even when I am hurting and suffering deep down inside. It all happens for a reason, something positive will happen through all of this.

I am thankful for my perseverance. As long as I am alive I can fight. As long as I am alive I can reach for more goals and help other people. Thanks to this blog I may even be able to touch people decades after I am gone, who knows. I often wish I wasn't alive. I even pray for it sometimes. Sometimes I pray for it all of the time. Truth is I am still here and deep down I know I am going to be walking this earth for a while now. I just wish to end the suffering and the seemingly endless search for a solution. Some days I am just so tired that I cannot get anything accomplished and unfortunately I live on the worlds time table of deadlines that must be met, not everything can be left for tomorrow. I am thankful for my time management skills, which have allowed me to juggle sick days and busy days so that I can hit my deadlines or even beat them. In all honesty, if I could not manage my time there is NO way I would be able to be a student and work. I could manage one or the other I believe, but it would be a less pleasant environment filled with stress.

I am ever so thankful for my medical team. I have a local doctor who is familiar with my case and is always willing to run tests or give me a referral if need be. She also provides me with infusions of nutrients to strengthen my body. In between visits to the clinic, she helps keep me going. AND because she takes insurance she has made blood tests much more affordable.
My Kansas clinic has taken me a long long way through fighting disease ands strengthening my body. I often wonder why I have been such a difficult case and have had such relapses that end in my growing frustration. They do great work, I believe my doctor is one of the best. Due to some sort of changes in my doctors life he has changed clinics, so next time I return to Kansas it most likely will not be to the Hansa Center, it will be to the new clinic my doctor is working at. I am ok with this change, I just do not know what tp expect in my future as far as how treatment will go. Im sure it will be similar, maybe even a step up who knows.

I am so thankful for some very special people in my life. Here lately I do not think I have gone more than a post without mentioning my best friend, he has been such an inspiration to keep me going. Some of my coworkers also mean the world to me and I look forward to seeing them every day. Plus several other great friends of mine, one girl, she's probably my best girl friend, is there for about anything I need and she gets it. She's been through plenty of traumatic things in her life that she understands what its like to be alone and miserable. Theres several more friends that I see on a frequent basis that I cannot imagine living without, I have some good people in my life.

Last of all, for this post anyway 'cause I gotta get to bed, I am thankful for all of the pain I have been through. Without pain I wouldn't understand what "good" is. I could not possibly fathom what life would be like if I had never learned the meaning of miserable and depression. I would have never learned to appreciate the good times if I had never spent days and weeks crying until there were no tears left to cry. I would not know what living on the edge of collapse actually meant, and I certainly wouldn't understand the importance of treating my body like a temple. I watch all my friends eat synthetic junk food and I know what its doing to their body, I am not perfect when it comes to eating healthy but I do treat my body pretty darn well in my opinion! No twinkies or pizza rolls are going into this body, nooooooo.
I would have no gauge for the light if I had never seen the dark, if this is the dark I am still living through I know I must have one bright light ahead of me :)

Grey Skin and Red Juice...what

Haha, a kitten different from my normal title themes right?

Sauna Update 
This week I have been trying to get back in the swing of what my routine is supposed to be. That includes, sauna twice a week. Today I only last in the sauna about 20 minutes, which isn't long enough. Usually I do 30-35 min, 130F.
I guess this is a sign I need to be more consistent. It's just been so hot outside, getting in a hot sauna just does not sound fun...but hey, it makes me feel better and that IS fun. So I'll do it.
As long as my mind doesn't forget...which its all to good at.

On another note, I have an interesting story about using the sauna recently. After I get out of the sauna I usually go and take a shower. I use baking soda on my lymph nodes around my armpit to help  clear them out(more on this later), and because baking soda is also an exfoliator it removes dead skin. Here's the odd part, the baking soda and dead skin turned blue...like bright grey almost teal blue. Also there was a lot of dead skin, which Is another unusual thing...
My thoughts are maybe heavy metals coming out after my short sauna hiatus??

My Diet
I'm a diet nut. Not a secret, but I suck at eating. For whatever reason I can't eat much food before I feel extremely full or even nauseas. To avoid either of these happening I have found a select few foods that are easy to make and take little energy to produce, anyone who eats healthy(low sugar/GF/DF) knows these foods are few and far between.
So I tend to get bored with food and start eating junk food that I don't need to be. Not because I want it but because I just get sick of eating the same food day in and day out, over and over.
It's time to get back into healthy eating, consistently. I haven't really been that bad, but I would feel better if I cut the crap out altogether.
So today I made a big glass of juice, two actually. One to drink and one for breakfast when I don't feel like cooking.
Instead of the usual green juice I mixed it up and made red juice using strawberries, plums(from a friends tree, kale, carrots, pomegranate, spinach, and ginger. It wasn't bad, tasted a little odd...but I've made worse lol

18...and some Crap Food later...

Yep. Diet broken....wheat and gluten galore later and I'm not dead yet. HA

Today started off with a smoothie and trip to the airport. Not bad yet. 

After landing and lunch...there story has changed. Ha, well this is what I prepped for, so it's ok for now. If I can make it to Saturday without crashing, it's all good!
So far I'm just tired and the kidney pain has started...not sure what that means? Ugh

Something good did happen today (I think it's good), I took a nap. Over an hour! A chronic insomniac napping, that is a miracle...
I was just so tired from staying up late last night and waking up early, I gave up and fell asleep. Hm...I wonder if this is how sleep would normally feel?

Nevertheless 

This will be my last blog post for several days, so I'm sorry...but I should have some pictures so *maybe* you will find it in your heart to forgive me :)

Treatment Evaluation

I feel like its time to look at my protocol again(I do this often) now that I am trying to see how big of an impact I can have on my health before Christmas.

Supplements
Artermesia Combinations from Natures Sunshine, 2 pills 3x daily, 3 days on 4 off.
Cinchona bark tea, 1tsp of bark to make tea, I drink it once daily. Sometimes ill run water over it a second time and sip on it throughout the day.
NAC, Jarrow Formulas, 500mg twice daily. I had started at once daily but I feel like this is making a difference and I am not herxing.
ALA, Source Naturals, still 100mg 3x daily, I feel like it may be stronger now that I have added NAC
5-MTHF 2.5mg, once daily
Dopalift, half a capsule every morning, I haven't felt like this has done much. I tried going back to a full pill. Still kept me awake, not as bad as the first few times I took it but...im sticking to half
5 HTP Thrive, 1-2 pills every night. This is actually making a minor difference in sleep! Nothing has touched my insomnia in the last several years so this is impressive
 Liquid Cats Claw, 30 drops 3x daily. I originally started at 14 drops 3x, but it didn't seem to do much so I bumped up the dose. I may adjust it again later.
King Chlorella, 5 pills 3x daily, I restarted this instead of DMSA for the time being. Its a little more gentle and I already had the bottle.
Lugols Iodine, 1 drop at night with Cats Claw

I also take Calm magnesium a few times a week and L-Glutamine powder. I am supposed to take L-Glutamine twice daily, 1 tsp, but it turns off my appetite...so when I think about it I sneak it in a smoothie or protein shake.

Finished-Sublingual glutathione and black walnut. Since I am on both NAC and ALA I don't see a need to order more glutathione now that I've finished the bottle. NAC and ALA are precursors to glutathione, so it shouldn't have a big affect.

Diet-
1-2 juices and one protein shake daily is my goal, plus some kind of easy to digest animal product(broth mainly)
I am also looking for other whole foods to add to my daily diet.
*still a work in progress*

Exercise-
I have tried to do some kind of minor exercise since starting my Feel Good Challenge, not working in my favor so far..
Yesterday a game of catch the football tired me out, and today a short bike ride almost knocked me out(literally). Also a work in progress...I think I am going to down grade to just a pushup...LOL

To recap- Heavy metals and detox are covered to my liking. Lyme treatment is weak. Diet has a good start.
Exercise I may hold off on, I want to do something but I don't think my body can take it. My original thought is maybe if I try to exercise just a little maybe my body would start to uptake nutrients better since it will have more of a demand. Idk if this has merit or not.

Any recommendations are welcome!!

Christmas has Begun!

Thanksgiving is now over, the Christmas season has begun! More radio stations are playing Christmas music, the neighbors are putting up their decorations, and I am starting to get excited :)

I, being chronically ill, usually feel worse in the colder winter months. Its cold, I stay inside, and overall it is just a more stressful time for me. December through March or so are the worst...This year, I want to make this change. I have plans this December, I don't want to feel nasty and depressed.
I have decided to challenge myself. Beginning today I plan on making sure I do everything I can from diet to detox to supplements, to feel better for Christmas.

In one of my previous posts I mentioned that me and food, don't get along well. Its not that I don't like eating, my stomach just doesn't like food...I eat all the time, I just don't seem to absorb it.
Juicing has always been my best food in the past, if I juice consistently I can guarantee I will feel a little better. Sometimes a lot better, sometimes just less dead. Either way, I take it :) better is sometimes the only option with this disease.

Starting today, I am going drink at least one homemade juice daily, drink a protein shake daily, and consume 3 healthy meals a day made from whole foods. I know this will make me feel better, even if its just a little bit.
I am going to post recipes and tips on how to eat healthy, even on the crappy days when I don't want to get out of bed. I want to feel good at least one day before the year is over, and by gosh I am going to make it happen!!

So here it is, the beginning of Operation feel good for Christmas.
Broccoli, sweat potato, zucchini, apple, lemon, and Brussels Sprout juice!

Yum! :)

 

This is just the beginning, I will have more to share later on!

 

I also want to challenge anyone else suffering from chronic illness. It can be anything, doesn't have to be juicing daily or a diet change. I just want to challenge others to do what it takes, just for a few weeks so they can get a short break from the extremes of our sickness. While I totally recommend a healthier diet and juicing for anyone with any ailment, its just not an option for everyone. Smoothies, soups, beans, and nuts are other great foods to ensure a better diet, just a thought for anyone who is considering the challenge and does not want to buy a juicer.