Sunday, October 16, 2016

I have spread too thin

Well I did it...I started feeling good and took advantage of it.

Right now I have college and work. Both of which take a great deal of my time. I work 20-30 hours a week and I squeeze my homework in wherever possible.
I didn't realize how stressed that made me until this week, and today my body said that's enough. I'm physically and mentally worn out, I can't get out of bed.
Tomorrow I will though, but it's time I speak to who I work for and cut my hours so I can find a balance. At this rate I will undo all of the health gains I have made this year.

Mentally, all of my thoughts are that nothing will be good enough. If I cut my hours I won't be happy with myself, I life working and I like making money for the first time in my life. On the other hand if I keep at the same pace I will physically crash...which lead to nothing getting done. If I can't get out of bed I can't do my school or work.

I just have no idea what on earth to do. I'm stressed, which is not me at all. I just don't like that I can't keep up my energy levels. I only work 4 days a week and never work the weekends. And it takes all 3 of my days off to build up my energy. Even then I'm steadily losing a little more, without regain, every week.

I am doing so much better than two years ago. It's just hard to believe that this is still the best I can do, which just doesn't seem to be enough....

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