Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Shower thoughts-April Flowers Bring May Showers Part 2

I wasn’t planning on writing a part two to this post, but turns out I have some more things that relate to the title.
It’s been raining here a lot lately and the flowers are blooming. My plum tree is growing plums for the first time, the grass is turning green again. Looks nice. Sounds nice. It all came with a surprise this year, severe allergies. The sniffles have come in full blown but that’s not the bad part. This time around I got a nasty case of fatigue and brain fog too. I’m back to being lost in the sky with diamonds. 
Sadly I don’t even know what to do for it. Stockpiles upon stock piles of supplements and meds, I don’t even know what to do about this. Unlike normal allergies, I have no relief. Usually when the seasonal allergies show up I stay inside, take a shower, and wear clean clothes. I’ll have no issue unless I spend too much time outside. I have almost wondered if I caught a bug, but I don’t feel sick and I’m not running a temperature. It doesn’t feel like regular allergies though *he says pretending like there is such thing as regular*

The flowers are blooming and the tissue industry is booming. Not cool! *sigh* life goes on, I’ll forget half this stuff from the brain fog anyway so I’m not sweating over this. I just gotta get through the last couple weeks of school before I crash. School is going well though, for that I count my blessings. 

Life has been frustrating lately.  I’m selling my Volvo, which is good and I’m excited. I feel like I have finally learned something out side of the Normal box for me. I expended a lot of energy I didn’t even know I had. All sorts of positives with this. School is about to end the semester and it looks like I’ve done well in all my classes. Again positive. 
So what gives?? Work hasn’t been too bad, not perfect but could be far worse.

Where is the enjoyment?? Why can’t I wake up and smile instead of wake up and say “oh crap I’m still here”. I have some very positive friends who smile a lot and their world always seems like cotton candy and rainbows even when it isn’t, it’s all in their mentality. I used to be able to smile through the worst of things and make it through stronger. Where’d that go?? I miss the me that did that, what’s confusing is I don’t even know when I stopped being like that.

So many things rattling my brain, but it’s fine. I’m fine. It’s all fine.

*where did that hamster go....sigh*

2 comments:

  1. random allergies sounds awful! I am sorry. Well done on the car and school. You should be really proud of yourself it is one thing to get good grades it is another entirely to do it while being sick and missing your hamster!

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    1. Yes...this round of allergies has really knocked me out. As of yesterday I think I’m starting to turn around for the allergy department.

      I do feel accomplished, I miss this feeling!
      It’s one of those things where I hear about everyone else’s accomplishments and think “I made it out of bed today” but realize that so did everyone else and it’s not a big deal except to me

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