Forgot to Sleep

Sleeping 

I’m told is very important for physical and mental health. Honestly I’m just living on faith that that’s true the truth. Insomnia, what can I say, I’ve NOT slept more in my life than I have slept. Just is what it is. Haven’t figured out the magic code for that one yet. Recently I asked my doctor to let me try a sleeping drug again to see if I could find some relief. In the past I’ve had ambien and restoril, with rather lacking results. That was probably three years ago. This time she gave me Lunesta! 

Much to my dismay, the green Lunamoth from the commercial isn’t real. I took the drug two nights in a row. She told me my dose was a higher one because of my history with lackluster results with prescriptions. It actually helped me sleep! First time for everything! Now this is where a regular person would cheer and say whoohoo the medicine works! But. I ain’t a regular person. Did I sleep better ?? Sure did. Did I feel better? Oh no. No no. I was completely zombiefied the next day both days. It made me depressed and just completely brain dead. 

Needless to say...I’ve already taken a hiatus from the new drug. Unfortunately I feel and function better on no sleep than I do with sleep(induced by meds). One day when I don’t have anything to worry about the following day, I’m going to give a 1/2 or 1/4 dose a shot to see if that gives me fewer  side effects. I don’t even like taking prescriptions, but it would be so nice just to have something to rescue me on one of those *extra* bad nights when I’m still 1000% wide awake at 5:00am. It happens!! 

For those of you in the crowd wondering, and yes there’s always one of you out there to ask me this question. Yes I have tried melatonin. No it didn’t work. Yes I tried taking more or taking less. I didn’t sleep earlier or harder, it just made me more tired the next day. 

The last two nights for me have been borderline tragic. I don’t know if I would say I’ve even slept, just dozed. The next day always feels like a continuation of the day before...I hate those days.

The strange part is how okay it is though, I have the same amount of energy as normal. Maybe a little less, and certainly less brain power. But I’ve aced tests in school on 0% sleep. So that should tell you how active my brain will stay even in the most sleep deprived of states. 

Honestly I think I if I slept like a normal human being I would have the energy to do things like exercise and exert energy. Wouldn’t shock me at all if my chronic always awakeness was contributing to the cause of me not being able to exert myself.

This weeks sleep, er lack of sleep, has led me to beginning to feel ill. This evening I had a headache and my sinuses acting up. Oh dear. Just what I need, a sinus bug! The ibuprofen took care of the headache. I’m hoping my vitamins and natural antibiotics knock out any possible infection. I just don’t want to get sick! No no no! 

Normally I stay on a low dose of a natural antibiotic called Biocidin. I keep on it as it’s a good anti strep anti fungal, two things I struggle with. Well two days ago I had the bright idea that maybe this Biocidin was possibly causing me to feel worse. Maybe it was stirring up to much in my system. So I said hey, I don’t take that much anyway I’m going to take a break. The last two days that I’ve been off the supplement, I’ve felt fairly good. I’ve had some more energy and stamina. This evening though, I decided it wasn’t worth getting sick so I restarted the med. I’m hoping that I caught it in time, if I ever get strep my psychological state sufferers. It has been suffering today like it does when I get exposed to strep. For whatever reason, something that I’ve noticed that will happen is I’ll get intrusive scary thoughts, like imagining myself getting hit by another car running through an intersection. I recognize that this isn’t normal and it isn’t exactly my normal either...thought I’ve had intrusive thoughts many times even for long periods. It mostly disappeared after I treated strep several months back. 

Now...I just gotta catch up and make sure nothing can take hold! I prefer my head on my shoulders rather than up there in the fluffy clouds.  

I started 5 drops of Biocidin, 1 teaspoon of vitamin C powder, 10,000 IU of Vit D, and a fair dose of vitamin A. Plus I gargled some salt water. 

If I could get some sleep I think this bug wouldn’t have a chance !! So tonight, I’m praying for some zzz’s!!

Head Above Water

The Song
Avril Lavigne has written a song that has recently become the anthem of my life. When she released Head Above Water a few weeks ago I fell in love instantly. I was a fan of hers pre my lyme and pre her lyme.
When she contracted Lyme a few years back and had the interview where she busted out in tears, I knew that she "got it". It was obvious that being sick struck a chord, which lead to her fighting back. I cannot help but admire her fighting spirit! She isn't a victim, she's out there helping victims. Thats not the most common feature found in the lyme community. Often lyme sufferers are left lacking support.  There are very few foundations and fundraisers to help spread awareness and give support to those in need. But Avril seems to be putting in an effort to bring Lyme out of the shadows and make it public.

The new song Head Above Water was very inspirational for me to hear. Its one of those songs that manages to pull some of those fighting emotions out, along with a few tears. The song is so sincere and visceral. " Yeah my life is what I'm fighting for, I don't want less I don't want more"....This line alone is a prayer I have prayed many nights, asking God to just give me my life to live to take me out of my misery.
"God keep my head above water"...I think drowning fits the feeling most of us with chronic illness feel. I know I have used the word drowning many times on this blog.
"Im too young to fall asleep"...I think this line says it all for itself. I was young when I became ill. I was about 13-14 when I came to grips with dying sooner rather than later. I was sure that my body was slowly giving out. When I was 15 I really bottomed out and I thought (also read hoped)that I was coming closer to the end. Even today some days I feel almost feeble. I can go from being active and happy to weak and confused. Some days I feel like gravity is causing my entire body to cave in.
All through it though, I have asked God that if meant to be, that I live longer and that my illness serve a purpose to others and that I waste nothing.

As you can see this song means a ton to me. It resonated very deeply with how Ive personally felt.
I have shared this song with everyone I can think of, even teachers at school!
It accurately displays how i've felt throughout my journey of chronic illness, thats for sure. Asking God to pull me up from the depths has probably been a daily prayer for years now.

If you haven't heard the song, I highly recommend it!

October Update 2018

Updates 10-15-18

Hey you guys, I know im staying rather quiet these days but I promise its because im staying busy and feeling well enough to stay busy!
It has been a long while since Ive given an actual update as to how I am doing. Ive written several (ok maybe dozens) of emotional posts about this and that and how my emotions seem to successfully screw things up. But those posts are a bit misleading as to how I am doing overall. Yes, emotions of mine do get in the way a lot. Yes I believe they stem from something with some chronic illness of mine, possibly lyme or possibly due to a strep infection. But no, I do actually live. I work 20-25 hours a week, I go to school full time, I have some hobbies that take up a fair bit of time and energy (this blog being one) and I have a social life. I try my absolute best to never find myself bored, I find that if I get bored ill just spiral into depression (even if just for a matter of hours). Depression is one of the most horrible things out there in my opinion, if going out with some friends, reading, working on my car, working, or even-dare I say it-homework...keep me far away from feeling depressed than so be it!

Symptoms as of 10-15-18
Insomnia-this one is pretty bad. On a 0-10 scale, 10 being worst, Im a 6 on a fantastic night, 9 on a horrible night, and about 8 on an average night. Sleep typically lasts from 3:00am-8:00am. Sometimes more and sometimes less. Usually said sleep is rather broken and contains periods of waking up or just dozing.
Pain-not so bad, but its there. If I stretch my pain, especially in my back, will improve.But sometimes i just hurt.
Dizziness-2 on a 0-10, Ive had very few days where dizziness has been an issue. Sometimes its nonexistent for days or weeks.
Brain fog-4 on a 0-10. Its still there on the daily but im doing well in school, so it can't be that bad.
Emotions-A good day they're about a 4. A bad day they can reach a full 10 which includes (but not limited to) crying, arguing in my mind, bits of anger, segregating myself from human kind, and complete inability to be productive.
Cough-I have developed this cough due to a cyst on my thyroid. Some days its not bad but other days my throat is sore and I cough hard for several minutes at a time. More on this at a later date.
Exercise-Still very hard. I feel like im left for dead if I ever do any exercise of substance even for a few minutes. I walk though and I am trying to make that a part of my daily routine. At one point in time I walked most weekdays and felt very well doing so (this was years ago), Im going to make this happen again. One of my long term goals is to be able to get back into doing some hardcore stretching and strength building. The one sport I ever participated in that I miss is gymnastics, I may be a bit old for that now but I could still do some things in the sport. Just to say I can do it.
Hallucinations- I haven't mentioned this one in a while but I think its safe to say this symptom is a full 0 and has been for a while.
Stomach pain and lack of appetite-7 out of 10, I can eat and its rare I actually have pain. But I just cannot eat enough food. I eat tiny portions and a slim number of meals. Some days I can eat plenty compared to my average but its still no where close to the calorie count I should be consuming. If I was one of those people who posted pics of their food on Instagram, they'd be more like monthly posts instead of weekly or daily LOL

This has become a much shorter list than it once was. I used to have a couple dozen symptoms, thankfully im down to just a few.
One thing that I have benefitted from keeping this blog is the record of the last few years of treatment. It can really put things into perspective on how things can change for the better.

I will one day be as strong physically as I am mentally. I like to think I am a strong fighter against chronic disease. I dont take things sitting down, just waiting for something magical to happen. I may not take anything lying down but I do take many things on my knees. I thank God for all that he has taught me over the last seven, close to eight, years now. I have learned many invaluable lessons and id like to think ive been able to help other people with what they go through. My faith is strong, I know that only my earthly body is affected by struggles. My spirit does get afflicted and the stress of it all does wear on ones heart after so long, but in the end neither Lyme, nor any other illness can kill my spirit. I will always have my relationship with Jesus. No sleepless night or extreme pain or starvation can take that away. There is a special peace in knowing that I will always have the Lord by my side. I know that I will one day be 100% healed, whether it be in my earthly home or when I go be with the Lord. I know that suffering is never forever, even when anxiety tries to tell me that it is.
I know that each prayer and each pill bottle completed is one step closer to full healing. There is no "magic number" to how many prayers are said or how many pills are taken, but whether we realize it or not one day we will pray "please heal my XYZ" or "please take away this pain" for the last time. Again, whether it be because healing was physical or spiritual, healing from the Lord is healing.
I am thankful for my illness and thankful for my suffering. I have never in the last seven years said-this was a mistake, I was never meant to get sick. Because I was, take it as you wish, but suffering is a part of this life. No one lives a pain free or illness free life. I personally believe that my illness was due to the Fall of Man in the Book of Genesis. Due to the sin of man, by choice, we will all be destined to a less than perfect life until Christ's return.
I will take the path I am given in stride. I will make mistakes, I will be negative, and I will get angry. But once I stop throwing my tantrum I will take ever measure that I can find to fight back against whatever the struggle may be.
What can I say, fighting is in my blood?

Here is my most recent picture of pill bottle empties-

Its been a while since I posted a pic, but for those of you who are new readers here. I save all of my empty pill bottles. I want to see how many bottles, capsules, and oz's of liquid it takes before I can say I DID IT! This collection is still growing. I like to think of all my empty bottles as proof of fighting. Each pill, one step closer to beating Lyme. I also view them as encouragement, I can look back and hold a pill bottle that I once needed for a symptom that left months or years ago and say-this battle was a success. Or I can look at how many bottles ive used for fighting a particular symptom and say-one step closer. I like tangible proof, I like the things I can see with my eyes and hold with my hands. Saving my bottles gives me a way of looking back, and viewing how ive changed things for the better going forward. They show that I didn't quit. If I had skipped out on treatment I wouldn't have any bottles and id sure have a whole lot more symptoms. Or worse, if I had given up on life altogether and quit in the most tragic of ways, there would be fewer bottles or even no bottles.

Id like to ask each one of you to pray for someone you know is in need. I always covet prayers from others, for healing, support, for a healthy body, and pray for encouragement. But maybe make it part of you're routine to pray for your friends and family who are going through some things in their life.

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them"
Matthew 18:20

Who Am I Now?

Who Am I?
I feel like I do nothing but struggle with my identity these days. Like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have so so many things I would like to do with my life, I want to go on adventures, I want to meet people, I want to take on more projects, I want to take more classes in school, and most of all I would like to rediscover my faith. Its been so long since I have felt or acted like my old self. I often wonder whether I have changed because of growth or changed because Ive been taken over by grief and anger.

I miss writing positive things. I get to miss that a little less today, because today I am going to be positive. Life sucks. People are mean and self centered. I do not think I have found anything that I can actually rely on long term. Car? Breaks eventually. House? Things leak, break, or even get destroyed. Friends? They leave or change, or I change, sometimes moving different directions in life. Family? Oh don't even get me started, next! Church? Again with the people...
Okay Okay im going to be positive now.
I haven't posted at all this month because I have been doing well. If I hadn't become so pessimistic I would even say I am doing great. Fear is what stops me from saying I am doing great. Im going to change that. I am slowly going to get rid of my fears.

I bought a new project car last month. A completely sad and worn out old car. This poor car, its older than I am. It has not been loved well in a long while. Its a pretty blue, 1989 Maserati. I know what you are thinking, Maserati? As in Ferrari's little brother? Those expensive sports cars that are never actually spotted in the wild? Yep, its one of those.
This little car is a 4 seater sedan with just over 72K miles on it. I bought it dead, for a good price. No start, no lights on the dash, completely dead. But me and the sad little blue car have bonded. I know what its like to be the hidden gem in the crowd that just needs some extra attention. This car was one of the fastest cars of the 80's, especially for a 4 door. Its a cute car, I have been giving it my attention. A lot. A whole lot. In fact I think this car has successfully taken over my life.
On my first day of ownership I fiddled the little car back to life. I did something during my switch jiggling that struck a chord in the old thing. It lit up again. Here I was sitting in my driveway, in the driver seat, watching the rain come down. I thought ok, lights came on, lets start it. It took several tries and lots of encouragement and it started up. I put it in gear and we set off on our first journey together. I drove the car down the driveway, around the cull de sac, and back down the driveway. I thought whew! It runs after all! My life working on this car just became easy. Keep in mind this is still day 1 back in August. I was very wrong. I went to start the little blue car up again later, didn't go so well this time. I tried and I tried, I just could not get a start. So under the hood I go...straight to the oil. What I see? milky oil. My little maserati has a blown head gasket. Good news is I bought the car for a deal, so head gasket set was figured into the price.
The car is still parked in the very spot I first parked it in when I found out she wasn't going to start again without major engine surgery.

I have worked extensively on the car. I have put an extreme amount of energy in the car. I managed to make myself proud at how hard Ive worked on this project. My energy has held up for the most part, I am in an energy lull now but its because of some sleep issues going on. I think I have put over 80 hours of labor into the car, possibly more.
I have been successful. I took the engine apart! Never done anything like that before in my life. But I did it! I took it apart, replaced many worn out bits. I have even got it resembled, it'll even start up! The car is still protesting me though, she cranks up ok, but the massive coolant leak spraying under the car dictates that I must turn the key back and pull it out. *sigh*
But Im close. Next time I have a full Saturday to dedicate to this project, I may just get to drive her farther than the mailbox.

Lyme, at one point in my life, would have never let me think about A. Buying a car. B. Buying a broken car. or C. Buying a very broken car that needed a top end engine rebuild. This is part of my success story. I know that without a doubt my body couldn't have done this two years ago. In less than 6 weeks I have disassembled and rebuild the top of the engine, myself. Its hard labor, it requires may brain to work hard and it requires my body to have energy. Things I tend to run low on.
I am proud. I am thankful. I am going forward. Life is becoming real again.

If the car caught fire tomorrow and burnt to a crisp, id be ok. I have more satisfaction in myself than I have had in a long time. This car and I are working on discovering our lives in motion again together.  Actually this car has had more down time than I have, according to carfax it was off the road and unregistered from 2001 to 2014. 13 years off the road, sitting somewhere. Thats a part of the story that I dont know unfortunately.
I know that with enough attention and fine tuning, this car will be a roaring beast again. Today may not be that day but so what? Im not going anywhere and it can't go anywhere, ill get it going. It'll be fast, it'll be strong.

I did not know I could enjoy hard labor so much. Ive always enjoyed working hard with projects but I do not think I have ever undertaken a task that is as physically, mentally, or as financially taxing as I have until recently. I love it, many days I hate it but its only because I become impatient, I am learning to enjoy the ride. Its so important to learn how to spot progress in life. My sister and I were talking today, both of us are doing psychology based majors in college. She was telling me about how  learning delayed gratification young in life can create for a much high chance of success and happiness later in life. I don't doubt that one bit, I would say the things that have brought me the most joy in life are the ones I have had to work and wait for.

I always remind myself that life is a battle worth fighting. Lyme is what taught me to fight. I may not get up and throw punches or roll some heads, but I can work myself through a stressful situation. I can find a solution, I can think creatively and outside of the box. Many people my age can't think outside of the box, they are only followers, not thinkers.
I still on a daily basis still feel like I am fighting with my soul. Tonight I just couldn't sleep, not a chance, none. Wide awake over here. I have a lot of inner turmoil. Anxiety is the name of the game, not sleeping is what rattles my brain. I have a long list of things I would like to do, but I am not really doing them. I am doing the car, yes. But its temporary. Im trying my best to bring up the courage to live on my own. On the days I feel human the thought is easy, the how, when, why, etc-easy. On the days that I have to look past my homework stack and car keys just to take up residence in my bed...not so encouraging for moving out.
I need to move out, I needed to about a year ago. I know it and I feel it. Unfortunately life just has not worked out for me to sow my own oats
Every time I think about how it would have been nice to have moved out, I look back. Looking back over this last year...gotta say, Ive seen so many blessings in being where I am.
One of my teachers from last semester and again this semester, has been one of the greatest encouragements. She has really taught me how to see myself. On the bad days I may not see myself in a good light but now I know how to look. Some days I can see a little more positive than I did before,
This teacher has really just been one of those great lights in my life.
I have had a few people over the last year like that. Not necessarily people in my personal life but teachers at school, people who have become my friends even though I never thought of them that way, people I meet through work. Even if I don't see what Im supposed to be doing with my life right now to bring the most satisfaction further down the road, I know I will be okay. Just because I can't see it today doesn't mean I won't see it tomorrow.
Thinking positive is something I am pushing myself to do more of. Every time im around positive people or I accomplish something that makes me happy I find I feel better. I dont mean an A on a test gives me energy and cures my insomnia. I mean I feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Right now my soul feels like it wants to jump out and go for a long, strenuous run. Of course that isn't possible, I just feel claustrophobic in my own body. Like my body is what is holding me back from doing what I want and need in my life. I know the day will come that I am able to utilize my body to its full potential rather than giving it careful attention just to maintain status quo.

Just because that day isn't today, so what?

Seasons Changing

The time for seasons of my life to change has come once again. School is starting back this week. My best friend is leaving to live in Missouri tomorrow. Another friend of mine leaves the day after, then my sister leaves this weekend.
I will once again watch my life become engulfed in school assignments. Life will get busy and I won't be seeing my friends very often. My best friend moving 10 hours away has probably affected me the most. He is the person I go to for everything, he's my support, my encouragement, my safe place, and of course the person I have the most fun with ( I promise I have fun and do normal fun things with my friends). Now I will have very limited access to him. I don't handle big changes all that well, I am already a rather emotional person these days. My emotions run their own way without rhyme or reason more often than not, but with my best friend leaving...I have been a mess.

I am taking care of my best friends fish now that he's leaving. Last night he brought his tank and his one fish (Sherman) to my house about 11pm. We got it setup besides one of my tanks and I now have the honor of keeping Sherman for a long time to come.
My friend stayed a while at my house because we knew it would be one of the last times we could hang out, maybe even the last before he leaves. I felt horrible, this last weekend has been extremely stressful. I worked a full day. No sleep. The usual human complaints.
It was so great hanging out but we did reach the point where I had a breakdown. I just lost it and started crying and thats all I could do. I couldn't speak. All I could do was just cry harder. I felt so pathetic, why is everything such a big deal to me? But my best friend was there for me. He hugged me until I could finally speak again. I was so worn out I couldn't stand up anymore, I think the first words I spoke to him were something along the lines of "I have to sit, I can't stand any longer". At this point it was after 1AM, he needed to go home but I was delaying it with my emotional neediness.
He held onto me longer and told me he would walk me to my room to make sure I could walk up the stairs alright without blacking out or collapsing (that has been an issue this summer, which he has first hand witnessed).
And because he's awesome, he let me convince him into staying the night with me. So we both walked to bed and I got to keep him for the night. I felt horrible, I haven't slept well this weekend and ive been burning the candle at both ends, not a great combo for anyone no matter their health situation!
My friend stood by me and helped me through it. I couldn't have asked for anything more. It wasn't planned but hey, I needed someone and he wanted to be that someone. He dragged me on to bed so I could finally relax and get some rest for the first time in several days.

It means so much to me to have someone there for me like that when  I get sick. I hate being alone when my mind and or body decide to plummet into a black hole. Just having a friend there for support takes a lot of the pressure and loneliness out of the picture. Having my best friend there for me is even better. That meant more to me than anything I could dream up, its not easy being the outsider in a sick persons life but he knows he to help me out.

One of the things that made this weekend so stressful was the death of my grandfather. Friday morning my grandmother called my mom to inform her that she found my grandfather on the bathroom floor, dead. It was a total shock. He was not in bad health. They were supposed to be going on a cruise tomorrow for their 60th anniversary.
This last weekend instead was used to plan his funeral, which was today. His death was hard for all of us to deal with. I think we are all still in shock that he is gone.
We had some awesome friends help us out and bring us all a meal for after the service. The family came back to our house after the service and our friends had all the food and tables setup and ready to go, I don't think we could have asked for anything more.
Nonetheless, this has been a weekend of sudden and lasting changes. Emotionally I am worn out, physically I need rest. This time, its not just me but the whole family thats in the same boat as I am.

Upon Exiting Kansas

My most recent trip to Kansas was one of the best and unique visits ever. Some good and some bad.
The good- I gained progress, I never felt absolutely drained dead of energy. I even went to the zoo! It was freaking hot so I did feel rather ill after that, but only for a little while. I have never had the energy to even think about going to the zoo or anything of the sort, this is monumental.
My doc didn't need to put me on a boatload of supplements this go round! I am on what an average person would call a lot of supplements, but to another lyme patient, not bad at all. I am also on a lower dosage of supplements, most of them are once a day! Im praying this does not change.

I was even more social than I have been in a while. Usually I am in and out of the clinic and I don't spend much time socializing, the siren song of the couch back in our hotel room is too strong.
One woman I met this last week I had met before. She complemented me on my shirt then said- Hey I remember you from last year, you are the one who was getting sicker and sicker instead of getting better. Then she spoke to me about what all had happened to me. She met me the week last March when I was at the clinic that I became so ill and went downhill, without ever fully recovering. I was impressed she remembered me, I remembered her face but that was about it. I was so sick that week...all I remember was the misery and bone crushing pain.

The bad-
My doctor and a few others left the clinic. I had no idea that this would be my last visit with my doctor! I got the email from the clinic about my doctor not too long after arriving back home. I was assured my doctor will continue in practice with the same level of care, just not at the Hansa Center. I am very grateful that I am feeling as well as I am feeling, because I do not want to have to go back for treatment anytime soon with such changes taking place. If I choose to go back to the clinic ill be assigned a new doctor, or I may wait a while and see if my doc shows up at another practice. For now, im gonna float in limbo.

Finishing the Week

Im sorry I never followed up on the following visits like I usually do day to day. I just didn't feel like putting energy into writing, but I did feel very well the whole week. Pretty much for the first time ever.

Day 2!

 I did not sleep so great the night before, i was awake most of the night because I just couldn't sleep. OCD and negative thoughts were racing through my head, sleep just doesn't happen on those nights. Plenty of crying yes, sleeping? nah.

So I talked to the doctor about those things and sleep and brain issues.
First off he put me right back on several things he had taken me off. So my break off of a ton of supplements was short lived.
He replaced 3 things I was taking with 1-2 things instead, this new stuff should work better than what I had been taken before. They also should not be permanent, they should be working to fix the problem whereas the few items before were as needed (which became as needed everyday).
We also worked again on neurotransmitters to replace something else I had been taking. Neurotransmitters are used for brain power, sleeping, waking up, thought control, concentrating, basically anything and everything your brain does. My neurotransmitters aren't in the greatest shape which could also lead to me not feeling hungry like a normal person would and it would also leave me awake at night.
We primarily worked on dopamine, serotonin and GABA plus one of the adrenal hormones called norepinephrine.
Dopamine is your brain power, no dopamine = no energy to think or become motivated. GABA is what turns the brain off at night to sleep ( chances are if you have racing thoughts at night or even all the time, not enough GABA in your system). Then Serotonin which is for mood control and its the natural anti depressant your body makes, at night your body turns serotonin into melatonin to sleep.
Since I don't sleep, I have racing thoughts, brain fog, and sometimes absolutely zero motivation I thought these things matched my symptoms rather well.

Unfortunately this wasn't as easy to correct as the eosoniphils on the first day. He added in 6 new things for me to take, two of which replaced 3 things I had been taking. So a little bit of consolidation did happen, just not as much as I would have appreciated....

Day 3!
I slept extremely hard last night and have felt pretty well all day today, which is unusual while im here. This evening I even spent some time out by the pool which I have only ever done once before, usually in the evening I'm too tired to get off the couch. 

In my doctors appointment today we actually ran short, we ran out of problems to work on so I was finished with the doctor early. Not the worst problem to have!
My doctor spent most of our appointment doing chiropractic work, adjusting this and torquing that. I am much less tense after all his beating around.
As far as treatment goes, only 1 new thing today. Through his testing he found an issue with my gut+brain connection.
He found an issue in my amygdala, which is the part of the brain that stores trauma. In my gut he found an infection called toxoplasmosis, which is typically carried by ticks and cats. It can be opportunistic.
In this he determined what was happening between my stomach and brain was that the infection in my gut was setting off a traumatic reaction in my brain, working as a signal to tell my stomach to not accept food. He made a homeopathic remedy to get rid of the infection and to balance out the disconnect, so in theory this could also be a big game changer as far as how i get to eat.
When all these new things start working and getting into my system I may finally be able to eat again. 

Day 4-5

Yesterday and today were both easy doctor visits. Both were a bit on the shorter side.
Yesterday he used something called neurophotonic therapy. He's used this therapy for me before on my first and second visit to the clinic two years ago.
Basically this therapy is a test and a treatment mixed into one. The test is to check how money body processes different wavelengths of light, he used red, blue, green, yellow, orange, and pink. While my body body is processing the light, the doctor runs his tests to see which nerve signals misfire. He finds the misfires and treats them with homeopathics, single doses in office.
This is one of those things that sounds much more complicated than it is, but it does have a profound effect on the nervous system and how it functions. I do not know enough about it to give a detailed explanation, I may have posted about it on visit number 1-2 a few years ago.
So yesterday I did not receive any more remedies to take home.

On the last day we did neurophotonic therapy again along with some more work on my gut.
He found that my spleen was not functioning up to par, which could also affect digestion. He found a couple other minor imbalances with my brain and stomach on top of the spleen, nothing terribly profound though. He gave me two new supplements to take home this time but these are chinese medicine herbals. So for anyone who knows about chinese medicine you'll know these are very strong and very different from standard homeopathic medicine and regular over the counter supplements. Any one whose taken them before can also tell you, they don't taste so great either. Kinda like mixing dirt and alcohol, add in some bitterness, pretty close to what this stuff taste like.
The neurophotonic therapy today was mildly different from yesterday, today he focused on neurology for sleep. So today when he did this therapy he focused on balancing out brain waves so that I will sleep deeper. He had me take a bunch of single doses of homeopathic to correct these imbalances, nothing to take home though.

I have a long list of supplements to take for the next two months but once again, even though its a lot everything is at a lower dose than in the past. Most of my supplements are just once a day instead of twice a day and at they, most are either 1 dropper or 1 tablet instead of multiple. Even though I still have a lot to take it definitely is not in the same way it has been in the past.
Our goal is for me not to need to go back to the clinic until March next year. My doctor thinks I can make it that long with how I have been progressing. 

Overall I am feeling much much better than I have been after my last few visits. I actually had energy to use once I made it home this evening, I normally have none left after a long week at the clinic.

I had a lot more energy to work with this week and I have felt more stable than I normally do after treatment. I still had to rest a lot but not as much as in the past.
I am pleased with the results from this visit. Very pleased!