IV C

This morning 
Im spending the morning getting an IV of vitamin C, magnesium, and amino acids. In hopes that this will make me feel better. In the past the IV's have helped a lot, my practitioner has been unable to get the glutathione due to company backorder. Which is surprising to me that months later that it is still on back order, but anyway, here we are.
Yesterday at work i used the cold laser on my head for a few minutes to see if that would help, and it did. In the past when anxiety and ocd were severe the laser seemed like it would reduce the severity every time. It works by decreasing inflammation and increasing circulation, which apparently my brain needs.
PANDAS and lyme both cause inflammation in the brain, for one lyme insomnia can be inflammation related. Im wondering if maybe I am going through a PANDAS flair, judging by my symptoms I have been having it wouldnt shock me if the stress from school was causing me to have a flair.
I havent really had any full blown anxiety, but I have noticed I have had a lot of thought fixation, heart racing, fatigue, food tastes bad, low appetite, my stomach has been making weird noises, and I havent felt just right.

Yesterday morning I was feeling terrible, and I was dragging and didnt really want to work or do anything. In the afternoon I did the laser, and by that evening I was feeling much much better and I was able to have fun with some friends. Total flip. Back when I had full on PANDAS I did the laser therapy frequently, I think it may be time to get back to that, at least for the duration of the school year.

I tested myself on the biofeedback machine yesterday, its a machine that can find stresses in the body electronically, my body had stresses towards strep, lyme, chronic inflammation, respiratory virus, and a few other nasty things.
I have been around a bunch of sick people lately, who were diagnosed with a respiratory virus. All over the last two weeks, I partly wonder if maybe my exposure to the virus, could have flipped out my immune system. Instead of me getting a respiratory cough like they did, maybe maybe immune system response made me feel poorly and I ended up with inflammation in my brain instead.
I know in the past when I have had minor symptom flairs, usually it can be traced back to some sick people around me. I dont *normally* get regular sick, like a cold or anything like that. It does happen but not all that often.

I am going Monday to get some blood drawn, its been a while since I have had everything checked out.

Depersonalization

Lets Talk
Ok so my four years or so that I have been writing this blog I have shared (overshared?) on my mental health, which was severely affected by the lyme.

People that know me in person who read this blog, know how secretive I am about all of my mental health issues. Its not that I dont like to talk about it, I just dont want to seem like A complainer. Its easy to over share to a listening ear.
At my worst, I was collapsing from panic and hiding it. I would feel it coming on and I would go hide in the bathroom or shower (if I was home) and wait it out. I was hellbent about letting anyone see my breakdown, Im a save your tears for the pillow kind of person. I think that it is great to have people to share with but I dont think its the greatest to share anything and everything, all the time. Plus I am afraid of letting anyone see me fall apart, why? Not sure.

Earlier this year when I had to do hyperbaric oxygen therapy, my brain began recovering and my anxiety began going away as well as my panic and other psychological symptoms. The game began to change and I realized I was beginning to feel like "me" again. I would wake up and I was me, I would go to bed and I was me, I would go to work and I was me. I had forgotten what that felt like, I still dont entirely know how to explain all of it. I dont know how to describe what "I" feel like vs. what "that" felt like. Cold? Dark? Watching from the shadows? Living in a dream? Watching the world go by in technicolor?

I began recovering during the summer and I am still learning to rediscover myself. One odd thing ive done (or at least odd to other people) is that I dont date. At all, ever. Never been on one, never tried. And ive rejected the offers ive gotten (and ive had offers from both genders, but thats a story for another day).
Its scary to look back and realize how much I have forgotten. Its like I can see blank spaces in my memory.
Before the PANDAS I had brain fog and trouble remembering and it was severe at times, but I dont think I felt like I had forgotten chunks of my life.\
Now I think I can say that, now that I have pulled out of the PANDAS nightmare its like I can look back and see myself in this bubble of an outside reality. Its hard to believe that I felt like that, and that my body didnt feel like mine and how I could go to work and function an entirely normal day...except I spent every single minute every day thinking about how I wanted to get out of my body. I wanted to get out of it, I felt cold all the time (emotionally) and I truly didnt enjoy anything.
I had some good days of course, but I had an overwhelming number of scary days where I know that I should have reached out to someone, a professional.

Fast forward to school, this semester. Abnormal psychology class with my favorite teacher ever!
Weekly, we are assigned a case study to read on different mental dissorders. This semester I realised I could relate myself and have a story to tell on probably 85% of the disorders that we covered. OCD, depersonalization, anxiety, panic +agoraphobia, narcissism, phobias, and a few im forgetting.
On the bright side, I did a great job writing and I got some amazing grades and some emails from my professor about how great of a job I have done. But I have talked to her and she knows about my health issues and I have written on them for school, all in all, I learned more about me and the seriousness of what some of what I went through was.
Depersonalisation was one that we covered towards the beginning of the semester, watching the assigned videos and reading the case study was an eye opening moment.
Depersonalization and Multiple personality disorder are related to eachother, usually depersonalsation will happen first and in the worse case scenario a persons personality will split and create "alters" to "protect" them from whatever the initial trauma was.
Multiple personality disorder is extremely rare, <1% of the US population. Often shows up in young kids, not necessarily adults (if I remember correctly).

The class really made me understand what kind of stress my body was under, for me to pull away from "myself" and feel so "gone" and distant, my brain would have had to have been under a heavy assault. I stand in awe today, that I am still here. I am for the most part, OK. Progress is still to be made but ya know what? Im alright.
I thank God. Once again man didn't have any answer as to what was wrong with me and they couldnt see the severity of what was happening to me. I prayed to die, a lot.
Suicide is something that gets covered extensively in any psych class, its a big deal and it is not as uncommon as it should be. I know for a fact that if I did not pray to God and have faith that everything was for a purpose, and that I did not pray for God to lead me through this stronger than when I first started, I would have killed myself. The professor talking about this subject was "triggering" it woke up a lot of thoughts and memories and stirred plenty of emotions. I put myself in the shoes of others, for the "what if" scenario and I did not want to walk that reality.
Thats not what I was put on this earth for.
I learned that if I had been truthful about my psychological stresses to my therapist when I was going, that I would have been put on high risk suicide watch because I met the criteria by 3 fold or so.
One of the questions during this particular lesson was, how many times a day / week do you think about death or suicide.
The "normal" number, was not a very big one at all.
The amount of times a "sick" person who either might or did commit suicide, was a fraction of my number. A small fraction.
In other words, I contemplated death and suicide by conscious thought way more than what was okay (not that any is okay, our thoughts can be sending us a message).
Depersonalization plays into a lot of psych issues including PTSD, depression, MPD, and severe panic or trauma. It is another psychological issue that does not just "happen" and "last", like (unfortunatly) depression or anxiety can.
Anxiety usually comes in a wave, may last minutes or hours, but then at some point it will end and may not happen again for a while. Depersonalisation is kinda like a cloud, it hovers and stays, lasting for days. Weeks. 2 years.
It alters reality and perception, self image and outlook on life.

I now understand why I did not handle lyme the same way as some of the other people I know who have been affected, it was due to PANDAS and severe infectious+autoimmune trauma to my brain and nervous system. I am grateful for my recovery, I am not done yet but I am "me"and I am thankful to God for giving me purpose and giving me the voice to help give others hope. I havent met anyone on this planet yet that hasnt been through SOMETHING that was in need of empathy and understanding.

Why do I bring this up?
Todays post has nothing to do with me, i'm doing alright and today was a good day. I was watching a video on youtube from a person I watch on a frequent ish basis, and this person was talking about why they havent posted anything in a while and it was due to depression, anxiety and depersonalisation.

This person has been on meds for depression for almost a decade, and this year they began to quit working and the replacement meds weren't working either. He talked about depersonalisation and how he felt like he was in a dream, he was talking on the phone with his mom and said it didnt feel like he was even talking on the phone or doing anything. He was just there.
I couldnt help but wonder if he tried alternative medicine like I have, would he be recovering or have answers as to why the drugs stopped working?
Watching him talk about what happened to him woke up some thoughts from class that I thought I should share with you guys. Offer some hope, life can and will get better. I am thankful I only had this for just a few years instead of decades.
I cannot stress enough that help is out there, it just takes a little time and patience to find. Dont ignore what your body is saying, whether it be joint pain from lyme, panic attacks from strep, PTSD from trauma, whatever it may be. Its a side affect of a problem that our bodies are trying to get us to pay attention to, they arent a torture sentence for punishment.

I can easily keep talking about this subject, working around sick people and lyme patients on a frequent basis has opened my eyes towards how common psychological suffering is...and how many different ways it manifests itself.
Its sad that we are all walking this earth together, each one of us fighting a personal battle either small or large, and yet we are all "good" whenever the shallow "how are you?" gets asked.
Love is free, we dont have to understand anything at all to show kindness to someone in need. I talk a good talk when it comes to seeming like I know a thing or two about disease and psychological things, but at the heart of it all I just want to be a caring human who wants to warm someones day. I do not understand what it is like to have cancer, to lose a spouse or a parent, or what it is like to fight in combat, but I can still offer someone a listening ear and the few thoughts I have to share (Im a guy I like to offer a solution, its how im wired).

Anyway, I havent written anything long in a while so I guess its been over due. I wasnt even planning on writing anything today, but thats usually how it goes.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Guest Post from E- It Took Everything from Me

It took everything from me

“What is happening to me?” I wondered, as I stood in the shower. 
I was cold, quite dizzy and generally didn’t feel good. After a day at work, the hot shower warmed me up nicely. 
I drove to my church, where I was scheduled to spend the evening. I didn’t feel like eating anything, so I just got some tea. As the evening progressed, I felt worse and worse, and got so cold that I was shaking and shivering....with a coat on.

Finally, I had enough and went outside to my car, turned the heater on high and cried myself to sleep. Eventually a friend came out and found me, and drove me home.
This was the first time anything like that had happened to me, and I really didn’t know what to think of it. Over the next few months, I began to get more and more tired, until the point that I am now continually exhausted, and sometimes can only collapse in bed. I have agonizing pain, and have developed an intermittent stu-stutter, along with other cognitive difficulties. Conversations in groups have become increasingly difficult, and any productive school work at times seems nearly impossible. I have started falling regularly, and I am at times unable to control my balance well.

Though I never had many friendships before, the ones I did have seemed to die as I have become unable to do the things I used to do. But none of these are as bad as the ever present, crushing depression. I wake up every day, cussing that I woke up and that it is once again time to try to get up and move. I feel like I have been hit by a freight train.

A few years after I first got sick, I was diagnosed with Master’s (essentially lyme) disease. That at least explains what has been going on. But knowing hasn’t made things easier in general. When I, in passing conversation, mention to someone that I have Lyme disease, the general response is “okay.” There’s no concern on their face, no understanding in their mind, and no care in their soul. People, in general, just don’t care. However there are a few people that care about me, and for those I am incredibly grateful; it means more to me than they know.

This disease has taken everything from me. It took all of my energy. It took my ability to even have enjoyment. It took my emotions. It took my memory and my capability to think clearly. It even took my ability to have moving prayer time or serious devotions. It took me....and left me for dead, as a skeleton of my former self. A self that my friends, family and acquaintances don’t know, a self that I don’t know; a self that almost no-one knows. It took my youthful inspiration and replaced it with a wish for the sweet release of death every single day.

Even with the impressive amount that the bacteria has been able to accomplish, it hasn’t taken God from me, or me from Him. Nothing can separate those in Christ from his love for us. And I know that, and I firmly believe that. Nothing has escaped His attention, and I know that this immense suffering is for my good. It is helping me become the man God wants me to be; it may feel most of the time like a dagger in my heart, but I know that when I get better, if I get better, I’m going to be unstoppable. I’m going to be infinitely more compassionate towards those with depression, mental and physical disabilities, the hurting, the outcast, the unwanted and the untouchables of society. I’ll have a much greater understanding of what these people go through, and perhaps be able to help them. And for that I’m thankful.

-E

I asked E to write a post about his story for me to share on my blog, and I am impressed at how well he captured what he is going through. His brain fog and focus issues are a fair bit worse than mine (or so I think), and mine are fairly severe. For him to write this much and do such a coherent and clear job at writing, im super proud. 
One of the things he asked me after we began talking was "how do you describe what lyme has done to you"
I responded back with " I feel like I was murdered, then I never left my body."
Its fairly safe to say we both feel very dark now, which I for sure never felt like before lyme. Its hard to fight the crushing depression that has come on with lyme, the lyme takes over the body and the depression on top of it helps take over the brain and its thoughts. Together the two of us have more support to encourage the other through the dark times, which are more often than either of us would like to admit to anyone else.
Im sure that this will not be the last post from my friend that you will see posted on this blog, as he progresses with his treatment and his life and symptoms change im sure Ill be able to convince him to write a little more to share!
He started zithromax today, so I have a feeling he's not going to be feeling to great over the next few days. 

Introducing-Dr. Psychiatrist

I Did the Thing I Never Wanted to DO

I did it. After years of needing something I finally did it. I went and saw an actual, MD Psychiatrist, mentioned in my last post. I pushed off ever seeing a psychiatrist because I never wanted any of my health issue to actually "be in my head". Lyme is so often referred to as being a fake illness and its "all in peoples heads" and I never wanted my head to need formal examination.

I found the compromise though. I went to a special clinic which does more than ask me about depression and has more to offer than self help questionnaires( i.e. are you sad? Do you feel the whole world is against you? Do you have a problem with drugs? Have you ever smoked marijuana? Do you want to kill yourself? OK ill stop there)

This new clinic is a fairly newer discovery for me. Especially considering its almost considered local even, only an hour away. This clinic takes a more comprehensive and wholesome look at the psychiatric situation, they take into consideration thyroid health, infections (lyme being an infection they're familiar with), hormones, traumas, brain injuries, allergies, diet, exercise, supplements.
I feel more comfortable being evaluated by someone who is familiar with more tools than just the hammer, if you will. They also use a specialized brain scan to see the brain itself, they did an active and a resting scan on my brain.
With these results they can see which parts of my brain are over active and which are under active.

It was all a very fascinating process, ive never done anything like this before. Truthfully I never thought Id need to either.
The patient coordinator (or whatever her title was) spent a significant amount of time with me getting more details on my symptoms, even the lyme symptoms. It was a very thorough yet comfortable evaluation. She asked me to explain some of my symptoms, like what is brain fog for me, in which I said - Its hard for me to retrieve thoughts, very hard to focus, difficult or impossible to remember things, and hard to string together thoughts.
Ive never really had to refine the definition of a symptom like that before, I appreciated how well they were paying attention to detail.

On day 1 they had me come to the clinic, and do the first brain scan. They gave me an IV of some sort of dye then they had me play some computer game with letters. Man was that hard, I am so glad I didnt get a grade for that because it would have been really sad LOL. The point of this activity was to activate my brain, get the circulation flowing.
Then I went in to be scanned.
After the scan I met with the patient coordinator for my story and health history.

Day 2 (final day). They had me relax in a room alone comfortably for 10-15 minutes to get my brain to wind down and go to its resting state.
Following this I was scanned.
A few hours after the scan I met with the Doc. She was very friendly and again, thorough.

The first thing the dr. said to me was So you are actually making A's in school? I said I do, its hard but I do.
She was surprised and commended me for being able to do that.
She proceeded to explain more about the scans and what the process was, and what a normal scan looks like.
Then came my scans. My results. The things that determined what was actually, legitimately going on in my head.
She told me I have a severe amount of brain inflammation throughout and this needs to be corrected ASAP. She said this is part of my cognitive impairment.
She showed me the relaxed scan first.
On this, I had an overactive basal ganglia (fight or flight part of the brain) and a very overactive thalamus.
The inflammation created a diamond pattern.
The basal ganglia is a survival part of the brain, its what kicks into gear when you are in trouble.
Now keep in mind this is my RESTING scan. When im supposed to be calming down or getting ready to sleep-my brain goes into survival mode-red alert-whats happening
Then the Thalamus is related to post traumatic stress, I do not remember all this was associated with.

On the active scan-
I had an underactive frontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that does the thinking. Its part of the Here and Now, taking in whats going on and responding, focusing, concentrating.
The left temporal lobe is also underactive, which is related to memory.
So the thinking and memory parts of my brain are missing a lot of function.

When im at rest, my brain goes on red alert. When im active, it shuts off. The basal ganglia is over active on both scans, but less over active on the active scan.
Which is why I enjoy keeping busy so much, it tones the stress in my head down. Working long hours on my car-its like im literally helping my brain hide from itself. OR other activities.

I was also told by something showing up on my scans and by symptoms that I may have a vision disorder called Irlens Syndrome (also called scotopic syndrome). Which is a processing problem in the brain for vision, not in the eye. It can in some cases be caused by infections causing damage.
This disorder is related to how the brain intakes colors, and with this problem it can cause issues with reading, skipping lines, and remembering what you read (very condensed version of symptoms). The treatment for this is to wear special colored glasses or contacts. I would need to see someone trained in this to be evaluated and figure out what color filter I would need. Im not sure when I will be pursuing this....

I was also told I most likely had PANDAS based on the severely overactive basal ganglia and by what we believe may have been a strep infection last March.
She told me the sudden onset of anxiety and OCD is a huge, huge, indicator for PANDAS. She did say she didnt really see it in adults but it was hard to argue with the symptoms and tests.
(ha, guess im special!!)

I had a strong strong feeling I was about to be diagnosed with PANDAS. Ive been pursuing that for a couple months now, trying to learn more on tests and treatments for it. I did not however know that PANDAS turned on the basal ganglia like that though (im sure ive read it, but I dont really understand the brain all that well. and I forget things that I dont understand). I thought PANDAS was really only visible through symptoms and strep tests.

I was told I may have had a little bit of ADD judging by my frontal lobe, it may not have been severe enough pre-lyme to have caused me any noticeable issue. The stress and damage from the lyme could have brought about its presentation.

Treatments-
#1 she emphasized that I do, hyperbaric oxygen. Ive never done this before. She said its vital for neurogenesis and bringing circulation back in my brain. She said I need to do 30 treatments.
Currently attempting to figure out the logistics of that.

#2, she gave me two supplements to take. One is a mix, high dose fish oil, strong memory booster and multi vitamin. The other supplement is for sleep, it has GABA, L Glutamine, Taurine, Tyrosine, and phosphitadyl serine in it.

Ive started the supplements. Hasn't been long so I do not really have much to report. The first supplement actually covered/replaced some thing I had previously been taking. Thankfully I actually came off some things by starting this. Thats a very rare occurrence in my world!!

All in all
Ive been told I have severe inflammation in my brain and whole body, I have brain damage, possibly Irlens syndrome, and I have PANDAS. Ill be darned. The dr actually managed to impress me with what they did and what they found. It isn't all that often a dr actually makes me say wow.

I was told 6 months on the supplements and 30 treatments on the hyperbaric.

The reason it took me so long to post on it (a week!), it took me a bit to digest all of this. I know I was expecting them to find something wrong ( I would have been mad if they didnt!) but just the fact that things were found and they do have significance.
On top of that, I still am learning about all of this. Im still reading through all my reports and understanding all the information ive been given.
And still checking out what options I have to help me out as far as symptoms. Im taking herbal anti depressants, GABA, L-Theanine, and some hormonal supports which have all helped with anxiety over the last several months. I think that last time I had a full breakdown was the end of October/beginning of November. The crying and severe anxiety has improved.
Im hoping this new protocol with get rid of the anxiety altogether and bring back my brain function.
I just feel so apathetic and empty, id really really like to see that disappear and get replaced with the old me
Maybe thats a big request, but surely with enough time and patience??'

One last thing. The best explanation as to how I feel was said by Shannon Goertzon on her blog four years ago in this post called Finding My Brave
Her blog posts were the main reason I searched out PANDAS, her symptoms match mine to a T, she seems much worse though. I highly suggest Shannons blog, she's been through the wringer more than once!! Very intelligent and endearing woman to read from!

Almost Through November

Thanksgiving is over-Next up Christmas break!!
I am beginning to get very excited for my impending end of the semester! I *think* I finish the semester before the end of next week! Only a handful of assignments left! I just gotta treat my body right for a little bit longer. I only need another week and a half out of my brain before it can take a long break. Almost there.

I realized another milestone will be coming up next week, my trip to the new psychiatrist. In just over a week I may have some answers as to why my brain does the weird things it does. I am praying for a really great breakthrough. I hate to pray for bad news like that but...theres something wrong in there and if I am going to do something to make it better, I have to know what I am fighting with. I know there are some things I could be doing a better job at now, such as not cheating on my diet. But I eat so little and sometimes I just have to make myself eat something.
If the doctor can come up with something to help out my anxiety, depression, and brain fog-ill be a happy camper.

The last few days depression and anxiety haven't been so bad. Even today the brain fog wasn't so bad either. I burned through more homework assignments today in one day than I have in a long time, thats a good sign right ??
Of course things would improve right before going to see a new doctor lol.


In the morning I am going for IV vitamins and glutathione, its been a month or two since I have done any infusions. I saw my local doctor last week and she told me it would be a good idea to do another round.
My doctor here ran a full thyroid panel this time. I received the results today and passed with flying colors more less.
The doctor I work for told me I am showing some mild autoimmunity towards my thyroid. Normal range is <9 and my number was 12 (thyroid peroxidase I think it was). This could explain some of my fatigue.

In a few weeks I will be having a phone call follow up with my doctor in Kansas just to touch base with him and inform him of some of my recent happenings.

In other non health related news, this weekend could be a very exciting weekend for me. I just about have my project car back on the road. I have a bunch of parts coming in this week that may finish it off for me to get it back on the road (brakes being one!!!). I have SO patiently been working on this car since the second week of August (the week school started, ironic huh). If all goes well I may be able to drive my car to school one day!
I drove it around the neighborhood last week for the first time, man was that rewarding! It wasn't exactly normal feeling, certainly some more inspecting to do but hey almost there.

Finishing the Week

Im sorry I never followed up on the following visits like I usually do day to day. I just didn't feel like putting energy into writing, but I did feel very well the whole week. Pretty much for the first time ever.

Day 2!

 I did not sleep so great the night before, i was awake most of the night because I just couldn't sleep. OCD and negative thoughts were racing through my head, sleep just doesn't happen on those nights. Plenty of crying yes, sleeping? nah.

So I talked to the doctor about those things and sleep and brain issues.
First off he put me right back on several things he had taken me off. So my break off of a ton of supplements was short lived.
He replaced 3 things I was taking with 1-2 things instead, this new stuff should work better than what I had been taken before. They also should not be permanent, they should be working to fix the problem whereas the few items before were as needed (which became as needed everyday).
We also worked again on neurotransmitters to replace something else I had been taking. Neurotransmitters are used for brain power, sleeping, waking up, thought control, concentrating, basically anything and everything your brain does. My neurotransmitters aren't in the greatest shape which could also lead to me not feeling hungry like a normal person would and it would also leave me awake at night.
We primarily worked on dopamine, serotonin and GABA plus one of the adrenal hormones called norepinephrine.
Dopamine is your brain power, no dopamine = no energy to think or become motivated. GABA is what turns the brain off at night to sleep ( chances are if you have racing thoughts at night or even all the time, not enough GABA in your system). Then Serotonin which is for mood control and its the natural anti depressant your body makes, at night your body turns serotonin into melatonin to sleep.
Since I don't sleep, I have racing thoughts, brain fog, and sometimes absolutely zero motivation I thought these things matched my symptoms rather well.

Unfortunately this wasn't as easy to correct as the eosoniphils on the first day. He added in 6 new things for me to take, two of which replaced 3 things I had been taking. So a little bit of consolidation did happen, just not as much as I would have appreciated....

Day 3!
I slept extremely hard last night and have felt pretty well all day today, which is unusual while im here. This evening I even spent some time out by the pool which I have only ever done once before, usually in the evening I'm too tired to get off the couch. 

In my doctors appointment today we actually ran short, we ran out of problems to work on so I was finished with the doctor early. Not the worst problem to have!
My doctor spent most of our appointment doing chiropractic work, adjusting this and torquing that. I am much less tense after all his beating around.
As far as treatment goes, only 1 new thing today. Through his testing he found an issue with my gut+brain connection.
He found an issue in my amygdala, which is the part of the brain that stores trauma. In my gut he found an infection called toxoplasmosis, which is typically carried by ticks and cats. It can be opportunistic.
In this he determined what was happening between my stomach and brain was that the infection in my gut was setting off a traumatic reaction in my brain, working as a signal to tell my stomach to not accept food. He made a homeopathic remedy to get rid of the infection and to balance out the disconnect, so in theory this could also be a big game changer as far as how i get to eat.
When all these new things start working and getting into my system I may finally be able to eat again. 

Day 4-5

Yesterday and today were both easy doctor visits. Both were a bit on the shorter side.
Yesterday he used something called neurophotonic therapy. He's used this therapy for me before on my first and second visit to the clinic two years ago.
Basically this therapy is a test and a treatment mixed into one. The test is to check how money body processes different wavelengths of light, he used red, blue, green, yellow, orange, and pink. While my body body is processing the light, the doctor runs his tests to see which nerve signals misfire. He finds the misfires and treats them with homeopathics, single doses in office.
This is one of those things that sounds much more complicated than it is, but it does have a profound effect on the nervous system and how it functions. I do not know enough about it to give a detailed explanation, I may have posted about it on visit number 1-2 a few years ago.
So yesterday I did not receive any more remedies to take home.

On the last day we did neurophotonic therapy again along with some more work on my gut.
He found that my spleen was not functioning up to par, which could also affect digestion. He found a couple other minor imbalances with my brain and stomach on top of the spleen, nothing terribly profound though. He gave me two new supplements to take home this time but these are chinese medicine herbals. So for anyone who knows about chinese medicine you'll know these are very strong and very different from standard homeopathic medicine and regular over the counter supplements. Any one whose taken them before can also tell you, they don't taste so great either. Kinda like mixing dirt and alcohol, add in some bitterness, pretty close to what this stuff taste like.
The neurophotonic therapy today was mildly different from yesterday, today he focused on neurology for sleep. So today when he did this therapy he focused on balancing out brain waves so that I will sleep deeper. He had me take a bunch of single doses of homeopathic to correct these imbalances, nothing to take home though.

I have a long list of supplements to take for the next two months but once again, even though its a lot everything is at a lower dose than in the past. Most of my supplements are just once a day instead of twice a day and at they, most are either 1 dropper or 1 tablet instead of multiple. Even though I still have a lot to take it definitely is not in the same way it has been in the past.
Our goal is for me not to need to go back to the clinic until March next year. My doctor thinks I can make it that long with how I have been progressing. 

Overall I am feeling much much better than I have been after my last few visits. I actually had energy to use once I made it home this evening, I normally have none left after a long week at the clinic.

I had a lot more energy to work with this week and I have felt more stable than I normally do after treatment. I still had to rest a lot but not as much as in the past.
I am pleased with the results from this visit. Very pleased!

Beginning Therapy

Therapy
Well you guys, today was the day. The day I was never intending to happen. The day that has been on my mind since last September. I have never wanted to see a therapist. I have always been afraid a therapist would tell me that all of my problems are in my head or they are my fault. The last thing I can deal with right now is someone else telling me to get my crap together and pick myself up by my bootstraps. Been there, tried that.

I think that...I am glad to say...it went well...
Today was visit number 2. Last week was intake, I met a man named Jeff who asked me questions on my medical history and explained the whole counseling process to me. Then today, I met with Jeff again. He asked me more on my medical history so I explained more to him on how I have fought with lyme and the trauma that has come about from it. We also talked about family history and my childhood. It was a lot but in a good way.
Jeff asked me a bunch of questions, ending in me talking. A lot. Today we focused the most on the initial trauma of becoming ill and how I was raised. It wasn't terribly hard to talk about like it can be. I think now that I've gotten to meet the guy I am getting more comfortable talking to him. But on the other hand today was a fairly good day, which I also mentioned to him. It just feels so strange to me to tell all of my personal life to someone who is a complete stranger. I don't even tell my friends some of this stuff and I know them...so to pour out any imagine-able detail about my life to this guy sitting in a chair with a sheet of paper...new experience to say the least....

It went well though. I felt no worse when I left than when I walked in, so it couldn't have been that bad. He didn't call me crazy or say anything offensive. I didn't really expect him too, but it is a fear of course. I don't know though, its still a peculiar environment for me. So far its just been me explaining my life to him, something tell me thats how its going to be for a while...I usually have a lot to say.
At the end of the session he asked what I was looking for in a counselor, I told him I was looking for someone who understood what it was like to be sick all the time. Someone who understands the things that healthy people don't understand.
he said they do not have anyone who specializes in sickness or anyone particular he thought was exactly what I was looking for, so he offered to be my therapist. Of course I said yes, so we will see how things go with my new therapist Jeff. I do have the freedom to request a new counselor at any point, that makes me feel more comfortable just in case something happens.

The Mental Breakdown
So that was my day today. Today and the last several days have not been too bad....last Friday though-not so great.
Last week was a tad rough at work. I didn't think it was all that bad until I reached the end of the week and I realized something, I felt like death. I wasn't functioning well at work at all. One of the people I was working with even looked over and asked me if I was alright. On bad days I try my best to hide how I feel at work, I don't want anyone to worry about me or think Im complaining. When someone notices Im not myself, I know I have reached the point of feeling much worse than I even realize.
Friday that held true. The further through the day I crawled the less I wanted to do anything. Friday evening came around and I just started to loose it. Physically I was feeling just mildly sick, mentally I shattered. I had friends over (thats all I remember, I don't remember what friends or what we did) at my house, I was barely present for that. When they left I made it to the shower and just bawled my eyes out. My brain was racing with negative thoughts. I couldn't think of anything that made me happy. It didn't matter what crossed my mind it caused me upset and frustration. I didn't know who to turn to, in fact this time I don't think i turned to anyone. I just took some medication and turned on some music. That was all I felt like doing....I hate feeling like that. On the nights that I feel entirely worthless and a waste of space I feel like I undo every bit of positive thinking and a happy moments that I have struggled to create.
I keep telling myself that I or someone will find a solution to help me feel human again. I want to be me all the time, not just sometime or on rare occasions.
Im blaming work stress for breaking my mind to shards this time. This week at work I decided to take a new approach, the "I don't care because I can quit at any time" approach. Maybe its working.
Today I have without a doubt a couple of things running through my mind that have distracted me from feeling like myself. Its not severe..I just hope it stays that way.
My summer class starts tomorrow, I hope its easy enough to not stress me out but hard enough to keep my mind on track.

Until next time...

I Miss My Old Lyme-Wait What?

Tonight the stress of this whole week has finally caught up to me. I miss the beginning of the week when I had some energy and brain power. I miss sleeping beside my best friend and having a companion. I miss having new test results to cheer me up about my future. I miss the peace I had.
I am back home from Kansas, we flew back home this afternoon. Flying always makes me tired no matter how long or short it is. I kept myself well entertained on the plane with Amazon Instant video, I think I have watched every episode of Top Gear UK ever at this point.
I held up fairly well but now that I am home and done for the day I am fried and emotional. I don't want to be alone. I am tired. I need to eat but I can't which means I can't take one of my new supplements, I don't want to skip doses so soon on a new protocol.  just can't do it tonight though. I am too tired to do anymore.

Whats ridiculous is that I am always too tired to do what I want to do but I am never so tired that my brain cannot run wild. I have never been so tired that my brain would stop being paranoid, stressed, or alone feeling. I spent days this week with my best friend, the only time he was more than 5 feet away from me this week was when I was in massage. He was beside me through everything else, my dr knows him now and knows how important having him there with me was. In my life right now, going to the clinic and meeting my doctor is about as personal as you could get with me. 
Having my best friend there kept me sane. I never went stir crazy in the hotel room or felt alone or trapped. We kept ourselves fairly entertained with netflix and movies. 
We even went to the junkyard on tuesday and found parts for my Volvo. I wouldn't have done that without him being there. PS if you own an old Volvo parts for them are few and far between. This was the only junkyard out of the 9 i called that had one car with two parts on it I could use.
In the evenings we would go to Happy hour in the hotel lobby to get out of the room and be around other people. He would get a soda and I would ask for a soda still in the can, then I would keep it so my friend could drink it later. 
We kept from getting bored while just sitting around for most of the day. We even explored Target for a little bit once. 
This made all of the difference in the world for me, I really needed a friend with me. The last few visits to the clinic I have gone stir crazy from sitting around the hotel room but having no energy to do anything. I was relaxed this week. All was well in my world.
When my friend left yesterday morning and I was back to the usual routine, the stir crazy came back. During the evening I was alone in the room for about an hour. I packed, cleaned the kitchen, and paced the room because I just could not just sit down with my thoughts for another second. I finally gave up and found something to watch that worked good enough as a distraction. But it was hard. 
This morning I had to keep moving because of the tight schedule of checking out of the hotel, going to the clinic, then catching an airplane, so I have not had time to think until now.

Until last year when I broke I never needed constant support. I never needed my hand held. I was strong. I was lyme strong. I had lived through burning and searing pain, nightmares, days without sleep, days without friends, nausea, I fought it and I would win. 
Now I never want to be alone, I can feel alone in a crowded room, I want someone to hold my hand and walk with me through this. I do not connect with just anyone, theres very very few people I feel all that close to or I trust. 
I miss how I used to be sick. I would be tired but calm, so no matter how horrible I felt I could just stay in bed watching tv. I could go get an IV and life would somewhat improve for at least a short time( i just had to make it through the die off period). In the hotel at the clinic I used to be okay with just loafing with the tv remote because I did not feel like doing anything. 
I would find something to do, text, read, blog. It was all good. I didn't necessarily enjoy how I felt or anything like that but I could make life happen with how I was then.
I can't always make life happen that easily when my brain goes out. The last month I have lived through pretty well. I mean school is going well, I bought a project car to fix up myself and sell(previously mentioned Volvo), sleeping hasn't been the hardest thing ever, paranoia has been on the low. 
I have had a few not so good moments where I over did it. One afternoon when I was home alone, I walked down to the kitchen to get a snack. Somewhere between getting food from the cabinet and walking to the counter I lost it. I cried and tears were rolling down my face, I was upset and angry, I felt alone and wanted help, it all came out of nowhere. I just fell apart in the middle of the afternoon on a regular day in the kitchen. That was a hard day. Since then I haven't had any major breakdowns until this evening.

Reading and blogging is not easy anymore. I have more thoughts to share than ever but I can't get them out because I am stuck in my own head. I have more energy to do physical things but I am still scatterbrained sometimes. I still slur things when I speak, sometimes I jumble a whole sentence into one messed up word. I don't like not being myself completely. Life has gotten a lot better but not yet normal...or at least a predictable equilibrium.

I still need someone to help me through this. Unfortunately everyone I know has their own life to live which often does not include me, so I find myself alone with my thoughts. Or alone with my Volvo, I had no idea a 1999 station wagon was capable of being such a good companion. 
I keep praying that I am nearing the end of the lonely journey. It has gone on so long and just seems never ending. 

Day 5 of Treatment 2018

Hi all, I hope you are all having a good symptom free week!

Today was my last day in Wichita at the clinic, I am all the way back home in my own bed now-very tired.
The doctors visit went well, not terribly exciting. The doc worked on my spine, neck, and muscles doing regular chiropractic work. I am prone to all sorts of spinal stuff because of my scoliosis, my KS  doc does a much better job at adjusting my back and making it last than any other chiropractor I've been to.
I was not given anymore supplements to take home on todays visit, praise the Lord. The doc did some testing on my thyroid and hormones but it all tested well. He gave me a few one time dose homeopathics to take in his office, but thats it.
In other words, today I checked out well and there was not a whole lot for me to have done. Loose ends are being tied up.

This was a great week. My doctor has me on a bunch of new supplements I have never tried before so I am very excited to see what kind of progress is made in the next few months.
My gut has been totally screwed up since March of last year. Whatever happened last March when I got sick during treatment has really stuck around in my body and hasn't let go. Anyone who has been following me this last year knows that the last several months have been the worst, maybe ever for me.
When everything went south last year my gut became problematic and my digestion was lacking. I was ready to just quit eating altogether at one point. It just hurt. I lost my mind for a while, it felt like decades. In reality I don't know when it started or when it ended, I just know that most of the time I am better now and I never get to the extremes I used to hit. Pain came back along with dizziness and extreme fatigue.
The last three visits to the clinic have mainly been to get my body floating in the right direction again. Each time brought more progress. This last week I think may have finally tied up the loose ends. My doctor found a lot with my gut and brain individually and my gut and brain together. Never had these kind of findings show up on the test before, so I think we may have finally dug through enough layers to reach some of the roots of why an atom bomb went off inside me and broke me in to a billion tiny pieces.
I am on new supplements that I have never tried, mostly for either detox in general or killing bad gut flora. My doctor said it could take a while for my gut to shift, as long as I don't get extremely worse I don't care how long it takes as long as I am moving in the right direction.

Fourth Day 2018

Today was my second to last day of treatment for this round. The doctor worked on me a fair bit this afternoon. He focused on brain things mainly, he also found a gut bacteria issue causing my brain to be affected. He said my gut issues could be causing a lot of the psychological issues I have, so I have strong hope that the new remedies to fix this will work quickly.
He also found more of those good old heavy metals that my body seems to accumulate along with halogens. So we will be continuing metal detox once again. Each visit this seems to become less of a priority, I know it’s gettkng better. I just need to keep patient.
He took me of NAC and another metal detox supplement, so 2 things have been taken off my supplement list this go round. I was kinda hoping for some more supplements to be eliminated, maybe next time.


So far I think this has been a productive trip. I have several new gut and brain supplements which I have never tried before. My appetite is usually very lacking and eating a significant amount leads to my stomach aching. These new enzymes and herbs should begin to turn that around.

The Brain Roller Coaster

It never ceases to amaze me the roller coaster we live on that we call chronic disease. We could be on top of the world on a good day and farther down in the trenches than we ever believed possible on a bad day. The brain is a funny thing, we never really know what it's doing. It's not like our liver or gut in the fact we can't just do a cleanse to improve its health. The brain takes a long time to detoxify and heal.
On our journey of chronic disease we live with an unbelievable amount of trauma, much of it unconscious. I find myself triggered by little things as of recently for no outright and obvious reason. It's as if my brain has just left me and become independent, I have no idea what it's doing. This past week or so has been extremely wearing...
I've been in several arguments with other people, the topic of course being me. My job as informed me that because of recent decline in business my hours are being cut for the time being. My hours were already irregular, now I work fewer days and on the days I do work my day is scattered. I work an hour or two then I am off an hour or two. Monday I worked 9-10, 2:30-3:30, 4-5, the day felt so long even though I hadn't accomplished near as much as I would have a few months ago.

Having more time to myself has given me even more time for my mind to wander. I already do that too much during the night when I would like to be asleep. Now I get a head start on being OCD and depressed, it all starts when I finish school in the afternoon all the way until I fall asleep that night. It gets even better though, sometimes I even dream about what is bothering me. That way when I wake up my thoughts are even more scrambles on what is reality vs what is imagination.

Two weeks ago I was doing great. I had started exercising on a daily basis, I wasn't depressed, I was excited to be around other people, I was even beating my alarm in the morning before work. I had the feeling things were starting to turn around even better than before.
This past week however hasn't been so good. The time change has messed up my sleep, so now its a struggle to wake up for work. I can't stand to be around other people but I also despise being alone, I'm paranoid about which people I talk to and what I say to them. Exercise is still going, this is probably a personal record for me, I'm just taking a day of here and there just in case the exertion is exascerbating the whole ordeal. In the beginning doing some floor exercises was therapeutic now not so much...

This is probably the worst my brain has ever been, this time around I have no idea of what could have caused it. The past several weeks I have 99% cut out junk food of any sort. I've been sticking to raw goat milk yogurt, bone broth,  calf liver, salad, juice, smoothies, beans, and nuts. I haven't felt hungry and my guy has overall felt more at ease than previously. I have been wondering if the added meat has changed my thought patterns, because before I was more so vegetarian. I eat some kind of meat most days but not to the caliber I have been.
My goal was to follow Dr.Axs leaky gut protocol. I have been taking 5g of L-Glutamine powder every day which is supposed to be fantastic for the gut and the brain. It's even supposed to be beneficial for all the mental symptoms I've been having, just apparently not the case for me. I've added in a B-Complex that I've taken in the past for an energy boost, no difference noted through.

I go back to see my doctor in Kansas this weekend, I've already had my blood drawn. All I'm doing now is waiting for the Monday to get here...
Physically I have been doing better than my average, significantly. Mentally....I have no idea what I've done :/

A quick recap of my supplement protocol that I am currently following, fish oil, vitamin D 8,000IU, a liver cleanse for my smoothie(only used it since last Monday and I don't use it daily), and then a couple essential oils-rosemary, frankincense, peppermint, clove, and digestblend. Plus L glutamine and b-complex

Sleep, BWO, and Life

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was going to post about brain wave optimization. Well Lyme brain struck!

But today I remembered I hadn't written the post, and I thought it was a good time. So here it goes.

Brain Wave Optimisation 

This therapy is a way for the brain to "see itself", a way to show the brain what's not ticking right. The goal is to bring balance back to brain function. It has been shown to stop anxiety or sleep disfunction when the brain waves are brought back into the correct balance. The therapy reads off brain waves and reflects them back using sound. When the brain "hears" itself it can correct what it didn't know was dysfunctional.

It sounds good right? It all made sense to me when my doctor explained it, when I researched it online, and when I spoke to the practitioner. I do believe this is a good therapy, if it's what your body needs.

Here's my experience.

I started the therapy, I met with the practitioner for 4 days, 2 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. I layed back in a chair for most of it, with headphones in. During parts I would be attempting to sleep, if anything the goal was to relax and be still. That was easy, I am usually very relaxed. 

During this time the device was reading off my brain waves and playing them back to me using tones and music. It wasn't bad...I wouldn't go to a concert to hear that again, but it wasn't bad. During the second half of the therapy the goal was to be awake, somewhat stimulated. I would be sitting up in the chair, with a light on above me, and looking through or reading a book. Again, no big deal. 

During this whole therapy I became rather tired, sitting in one spot for so long took it out of me. But nonetheless, I thought it seemed promising. 

Towards the end of the week, nearing the end of the therapy, I felt more awake/alert during the day. No change in my sleep whatsoever. The practitioner seemed to be stuck on relaxing, the computer read outs didn't show I was unrelated. He just didn't seem to understand how some one could just not sleep...

Needles to say, I wasn't impressed with the end results. Sleep I would say changed none whatsoever, focus may be somewhat improved on some days. Which is good, but still not an impressive result. 

I also got this headband device, it is similar to the therapy with the practioner but on a smaller scale. I wear this headband that is connected to a tablet. The tablet will show the brainwave readouts, in a much more simplified manner than the practioners machine. The tablet plays the music, through ear buds, that supply the brain wave reflection. 

I'm supposed to do that everyday, starting at 2minutes building up to 20-40 minutes. I am going to continue with it, but I haven't noticed any change.

On a brighter note-

A few days ago I had one night of amazing sleep. That particular day I had to wake up early and hit the ground running. It turned out to be a good day(symptom wise), and I was able to do everything I needed no big deal. When the day came to an end, I was dead and actually went to sleep at a decent hour. I use the term decent hour loosely, it was about 1:00am but that's great for me. I woke up myself the next morning without needing an alarm, so my body was able to rest enough with time to spare. That never happens.

Sadly I haven't been able to repeat that, because my energy still had to rebuild after a long day like that. I'm almost back.

I know my last few posts have been about being depressed. This week I've had some relief! A couple days ago I decided to raid my oil stash and see if I could find a mood/energy booster. Instead of thinking beforehand and deciding what oil could work, I just looked at my bottles to decide what I would try. I just looked through my oils until something "stood out", I tied to follow my intuition. I picked frankincense and wild orange, 2 drops each in my diffuser. 

Frankincense is known for its mood boosting properties, I've used it successfully in the past. But wild orange was rather new. You see, I don't like wild orange. A few years ago I ate a bad orange, it probably had some chemicals on it or something and it made me vomit. That particular orange had a very strong orange smell to it, smelling the orange oil very much brought back the same nausea that bad orange did. 

Not this time, after mixing it with frankincense and diluting it in a diffusor, the orange gave me no problem. 

The frankincense/orange combo has been great, my mood and energy took a turn for the best. I have been able to sit down and focus better, I have had the motivation to get up and do things, very little depressive thoughts. 

Today I wasn't able to do it because I wasn't home enough, and I can feel the difference. I feel more bummed out and don't have the get up and go I did yesterday.

I have used oils with great results in the past, but I don't know if I have ever had such a dramatic result so fast. 

Now if I can find a mix of oils for sleeping...I could rule the world!!

Allergy Flare

It's been a little while since I have posted much. Before I was feeling well so I didn't have anything to say. The last few weeks on the other hand, I haven't had much to say because I haven't felt great.

I haven't been doing bad, just haven't been myself.

Something must be blooming outside, because my nose is running a marathon. I have reached Squirel hoarding status with my tissue stash...haha

Lately I've just been feeling a little under the weather and just not totally present. The lights are on but nobody's home. The allergies have also been keeping me awake, solid awake through the night. This past night I officially went to sleep at 5:30am, then woke up fully awake about 11:20. I woke up a few times or maybe even several times, and that's what seems to be the routine at the moment.

I have been taking HistaBlock from Natures Sunshine, but my bottle has run out. Allergies are a little unusual for me, so I don't keep anything on hand. Even in my oils, nothing good. Haha, I think this this is a sign I am not prepared for everything, I used to have a bottle of anything I needed back in the old days. I guess this is a good sign I haven't needed as much, that's a plus.

It's just been like I'm in a fog, my brain isn't here. Like I can sit with someone and miss everything they said or forget they are even there altogether. That's unusual for me. It's normal for me to forget what someone says to me, but miss it altogether...not cool.

On another note. I finished my supplements last Tuesday, until I go back to Hansa. I do have to continue on one remedy for parasites until I return, but other than that I'm free.

Intuitiveness and Energy from oils

I cannot remember if I have posted how I was lead to my Lyme diagnoses, so today I will(and if I have, maybe it'll be better the second time!)

I became chronically ill after an injury when I was 13. I had to undergo surgery, a short, low risk, no big deal surgery. I was only supposed to be sedated for 15 minutes so the surgeon could place the bones and insert pins.
I was knocked out from 7am until 4:30pm. Lyme has taken my math skills, but I know that's more than 15 minutes!

It all went downhill from there. A few months later I was developing symptoms such as migrating joint pain, dizziness, worsening insomnia, and brain fog.
I knew that a broken arm (now healed) didn't come with these symptoms.

Long story short, I was talking to a friend of mine one day. Their whole family was Lyme positive. Before this, I knew almost nothing about Lyme disease. It came from ticks and caused a flu, that's all I knew.
As soon as my friend said "I have chronic Lyme disease" I knew that's what I had. I could just feel that that was the answer I had been looking for.
She hadn't even told me symptoms or anything. I knew from observation that they were constantly tired and unwell, but I didn't know about the dozens of symptoms one with Lyme could have(at once).

*flash forward*
Before going to the doctor who ran the bloodwork and found Rocky Mountain spotted fever in my system, I knew that would be the doctor that would point me in the right direction. I knew that would not be the doctor to heal me, just get me started.
(I was right, the dr. found RMSF and helped me in several ways, but did give up eventually)

Little things like this lead me through my entire journey, I knew I would be okay. I just listened to my body and any messages God was trying to send me.

Several times I would be reading about a certain protocol or herb and get a feeling that I need to use xyz at X dosage next. One of these herbs was cryptolepsis, which is for babesia not Lyme. Before taking cryptolepsis I was always negative for babesia, the first month of being on the herb I lit up highly positive at my naturopaths. Also my fatigue decreased and my concentration increased.

The herbs and protocols the ND and other Dr. Never made a significant or lasting impact. My ND could recommend a product for me and without reading the ingredients of how it would benefit me, I would know whether it would help or do nothing. I just knew.
I always followed the ND's instructions, if he thought it was beneficial I would take it. I kept my feelings to myself, hoping he would prove me wrong.
Same with the other doctor.

Listening to my body I believe is what kept me as healthy as I have been. I use the word healthy loosely...but there are many Lyme patients who are much much worse.
Our bodies are smart, our spirits are intellegient-listen to both and you will do well!

That's also how I found the Hansa Center.
I found about 4-5 clinics I considered, I knew Hansa would be the one to heal me.
After calling the 3-4 that reached the phone call stage of my examination, Hansa was the best choice. It was the cheapest by far, the soonest I could get in, they offered the most consistent results(the other clinics gave me either no timeframe of healing or a very long period). It's no coincidence I'll tell you that.

I have always been a little on the intuitive side, but until I put it into perspective of how it's made my life different. I though nothing of it, just that I was good at guessing maybe.

The truth is, when God needs you to do something, feel something, know something, you will. It's just even better when you decide to listen!

Okay, now moving on to my random thought of the day.

Essential oils. What is your favorite brand? Please leave in the comments below, if you have a reason you like that brand more so than others please let me know that also!

Oils are something that fascinate me. I use them often. They can make a significant impact on my mood and motivation levels. For one little bottle of liquid they sure do pack a punch. I have put some minor thought in attempting to become a distributor for one of the oil companies...
Once I am off all of my supplements it would be nice to only have oils to rely on. They are packed with energy. Even now if I ever get sick I make a capsule of essential oils, they kick the infection down quickly. I do the same for several friends and family members also, I've kinda gotten into it.

Lately Valor and Exodus 2 are my favorites, both by Young Living.

Why Diet is Important

     A few posts ago I wrote about my views on Lyme treatment, and some things that can be done to boost the immune system. In that post I spoke a lot on what should be eliminated from our diets. Today I want to talk about what we should add to our diet!
     What we eat is just as important as what we avoid eating. We can avoid all of the chemicals we want, but if empty calories are what replaces the chemicals its really not much of a difference.
Bread, pasta, cereal, jam, jelly, grits, cornbread, and potatoes are examples of foods most of us eat on a frequent basis.

    All of these foods can be prepared with minimal chemicals. The catch is, they have very little nutrient value. Then on top of these nutrient empty staples, we have the calorie counting/no fat bandwagon. Our bodies do not count calories, or even use them. The calorie is a unit of measure. The small calorie is the amount of energy it takes to heat one gram of water, one degree Celsius. The large calorie is the amount of energy needed to heat one kilogram of water by one degree, Celsius.
 
    Our brains are about 60% fat. Brain tissue is created from essential fatty acids. How is brain tissue supposed to be created without its building blocks? I don't know. Hard to make something without the correct ingredients in my opinion...

   Our bodies are built from minerals, protein, and vitamins. Calories have their time and place, they aren't useless. If building your immune system is a goal, look at the nutritional information instead.
Our bones are built from calcium, phosphorus, and magnesium, plus trace minerals. In fact our bones are the stores for minerals. They can be weakened as a result of a mineral deficient diet.
Calcium and phosphorus are found in dairy products like milk, yogurt, and kefir. People drink milk all the time, great right? Not if its pasteurized. The pasteurization process destroys nutrients according to Dr.Weston Price, A dentist from the 1920's. Dr. Price discovered something in the native groups of Alaska, Switzerland, and Australia. The people would never get cavities. Their bodies are capable of rebuilding their teeth, because they consume the building blocks to do so!
Dr. Price went looking for support of a vegan, plant based diet. He couldn't find it. He found that the diet of these people was primarily meat products.
The people of these native tribes typically never connected with the outside, modern world. They were completely self sustaining. These people were not influenced by the no fat, low calorie, plant based diet fad.
     
     Whenever I search for the internet for advice to improve my diet, vegan and vegetarianism are some of the first hits. A diet must be better without meat by what the research shows, right? Dr. Price found the opposite. The natives, who ate primarily meat, had a very low instance of disease, birth defects were few and far between,  cavities were rare (especially in the Australians), and had non-existent crime. I've never heard anyone say any of this about potatoes or cabbage. You?

    What was different about their meat and dairy from ours is this. They didn't pasteurize anything, the animals were farm raised on their natural diet, and to preserve food they fermented it. If milk needed to be preserved it was turned into cheese or yogurt. Both of these food products in their natural state (no dyes, preservatives, etc.. ) are high in the nutrients we need to survive. Vitamin K2, for example, is something that is diminishing from our diet. Cultured dairy products contain K2 in beneficial amounts, no longer found in their processed cousins...

    The natives also ate organ meats, and knew which organs were beneficial for certain ailments.  Organ meats are loaded with nutrients. The adrenals are high in vit.C, and the liver in vit.A, for examples. The vitamin A from meat is also a different form than from fruits/vegetables, retinol instead of beta carotene. Beta carotene has to be converted into retinol to be used by the body. The animal has already done that! Here's an example-
Imagine the a cow. The cow eats grass, its body breaks the nutrients down, then uses them to build  their tissues. We are capable of the same process, but we can also eat the animal, who has already broken apart the nutrients. There is always more than one method to accomplish a goal.

    The above is just the beginning of creating a well balanced diet. I didn't even talk about the benefits of bone broth, soups/stews, kefir, or eggs.
As a society we definitely need to consume more plants than we do, but I think we discount the health benefits of meat. Plant foods are invaluable to our health, I will make a post about them in the future. One example of fruit/vegetable benefits I like is this found here.

There is just so much to be said about diet! I could have gone on forever but decided this was enough for today :)