Recovery Post

Hello all!
Today I am have a little more energy than yesterday. I spent most of it outside doing yard work, I guess that's a good sign. I still have a cough that's hanging on... I'll kick it soon enough. I'll just keep on with my supplements and peppermint oil.

Today I had the chance to checkout the blogs I follow and catch up on what I've been missing. Even after being so sick last week, I am still incredibly grateful for the progress I've made this last year. Everyone I follow is still sick, all of them. I would be willing to say it's possible I'll be back to normal and healthy before the year is over. Maybe not, but I think I'll be close. My progress has been great, I've been able to go to work and go into college. My bizarre sleeping patterns have improved. I have no bad things to really report.
Lyme patients don't get to say that often do we???


Regaining strength in my arms and back is what may take a while. Rebuilding endurance I know will take a while. But now, I have the energy to do some exercise. I went to Walmart and bought myself two 10lb weights and I've been playing around with them about everyday. I started this a month or so ago, I've made some progress. I don't know if it's good progress but either way I'm moving in the right direction. That's what counts. I'll get to where I need eventually.

I've had so many chances to look back and see all the things I've missed. I can't help but wonder what life would be like if I had never lost my brain and everything under it. At one point in time I had a crazy photographic memory and I was a 100% A+ student. Those days are long past, I don't know if my memory and reasoning will go back to how it used to be. But I'll be okay. I look back and see how much I have learned. I have spoken to so many people and they've shared their stories with me. I would have never known about the Lyme community if I had never gotten sick. So many people live in a state of chronic illness, and give up. The person I first learned about Lyme disease from is still sick. I don't think she's even seen a doctor in a few years. She's decided there's no cure so no reason to bother getting better.
It is an extremely expensive process, so I can understand not wanting to spend money on treatment that's going to be a gamble. No doctor has 100% success rate. People have failed with my doctor, but I feel my doctor is the one who was meant to heal me. I wouldn't want to go to anyone else. Not everyone is not so fortunate though...I wish life was that easy.

There's a strong emotional connection to being sick. My doctor always checks to see what's clogging up my system. Occasionally emotional issues show up and he will use a Bach remedy or an essential oil to clear it, that's all I've ever needed. Many people I have met however have severe emotional trauma, they are the ones who don't do so well with treatment. Their traumas just hold them stuck where they are. I am so thankful to God that I haven't had too many emotional hang ups. I do get depressed frequently and I do wish some things could be different...I wish I could do more normal things that other teenage guys do. But whatever, I've made it this far. I've had many many good memories throughout my teenage years so nothing has been a waste.

This last year I have even made a new best friend, I have even shared some of my personal traumas with him. I still have never told anyone I know about this blog, maybe one day.

The Break down

This time I'm just going to do a simple breakdown of my treatment days at Hansa. In my last post I told about my first day.
Day two- I started out with a sore throat. He gave me this cream called plantain beeswax to use for it, i have never heard of it...but it worked well. He also gave me a hormone remedy that he created.
Day three-I felt extremely flu like, everything from here on out was a blur. He gave me a remedy to restrengthen all of my organ systems made from Chinese medicine. After that I slowly started regaining strength after that.
Day 4- added back in a heavy metal detox called Chelex which I have taken before. He also added in an herbal anti inflammatory used for Lupus. Plus some homeopathic remedies he created. I wish I could remember every little thing he did last week.
Day 5- all he added in was bamboo charcoal to help pull toxins from my gut.

Therapies-sauna, massage, ST8, LUX, and Beamer 2X daily. The other therapies like Q laser that I've  used in the past weren't needed this time.

After all was said and done, he told me a juice fast would be beneficial to detox my system, even a short one. He worked on my hormones, my brain, thyroid, autoimmunity, and my gut. I can honestly say a week later, my gut has been well cleaned out...
I lost 7 pounds that I did not have to lose during my no eating last week...I have begun to gain it back though. I need to weigh 150lbs, I went down to 131, I'm usually 138....
Today I started back with my floor exercises, I finally could muster up the energy again. It's taken a long time to recover from this last Hansa visit. I have just had a hard time getting my energy and motivation back...but it's slowly coming

Hansa visit last week

Last week I had my first visit to the clinic for the year! My blood work and CRT results were promising. Vitamin D-Good, kidneys, liver, gallbladder, lungs, spleen, adrenals-good. Cholesterol is still low. Urid acid was high, according to the doc this is a marker of high inflammation.

This time around we working on my gut, hormones, and some thyroid.

I had a minor situation this past week that I am still working through. The doctor started me on a few things Monday for my gut. He said I looked good enough I could probably be done with just three days of treatment. Well come Wednesday, day number 3, I was dead sick. I could hardly walk, high fever, shaking, nausea, dizziness, headache, sore throat, like the flu.

One of my supplements he had me taking seemed to be a little too much, and that appears to have been the cause of my sudden illness. He had me cut down on the dose and he gave me something to strengthen my system back up. It's now a week later and I'm almost fully recovered.
I'll do a full update on last week later on, just wanted to let you guys know I did go to the clinic and I did make it back. I have just been sick...

The Brain Roller Coaster

It never ceases to amaze me the roller coaster we live on that we call chronic disease. We could be on top of the world on a good day and farther down in the trenches than we ever believed possible on a bad day. The brain is a funny thing, we never really know what it's doing. It's not like our liver or gut in the fact we can't just do a cleanse to improve its health. The brain takes a long time to detoxify and heal.
On our journey of chronic disease we live with an unbelievable amount of trauma, much of it unconscious. I find myself triggered by little things as of recently for no outright and obvious reason. It's as if my brain has just left me and become independent, I have no idea what it's doing. This past week or so has been extremely wearing...
I've been in several arguments with other people, the topic of course being me. My job as informed me that because of recent decline in business my hours are being cut for the time being. My hours were already irregular, now I work fewer days and on the days I do work my day is scattered. I work an hour or two then I am off an hour or two. Monday I worked 9-10, 2:30-3:30, 4-5, the day felt so long even though I hadn't accomplished near as much as I would have a few months ago.

Having more time to myself has given me even more time for my mind to wander. I already do that too much during the night when I would like to be asleep. Now I get a head start on being OCD and depressed, it all starts when I finish school in the afternoon all the way until I fall asleep that night. It gets even better though, sometimes I even dream about what is bothering me. That way when I wake up my thoughts are even more scrambles on what is reality vs what is imagination.

Two weeks ago I was doing great. I had started exercising on a daily basis, I wasn't depressed, I was excited to be around other people, I was even beating my alarm in the morning before work. I had the feeling things were starting to turn around even better than before.
This past week however hasn't been so good. The time change has messed up my sleep, so now its a struggle to wake up for work. I can't stand to be around other people but I also despise being alone, I'm paranoid about which people I talk to and what I say to them. Exercise is still going, this is probably a personal record for me, I'm just taking a day of here and there just in case the exertion is exascerbating the whole ordeal. In the beginning doing some floor exercises was therapeutic now not so much...

This is probably the worst my brain has ever been, this time around I have no idea of what could have caused it. The past several weeks I have 99% cut out junk food of any sort. I've been sticking to raw goat milk yogurt, bone broth,  calf liver, salad, juice, smoothies, beans, and nuts. I haven't felt hungry and my guy has overall felt more at ease than previously. I have been wondering if the added meat has changed my thought patterns, because before I was more so vegetarian. I eat some kind of meat most days but not to the caliber I have been.
My goal was to follow Dr.Axs leaky gut protocol. I have been taking 5g of L-Glutamine powder every day which is supposed to be fantastic for the gut and the brain. It's even supposed to be beneficial for all the mental symptoms I've been having, just apparently not the case for me. I've added in a B-Complex that I've taken in the past for an energy boost, no difference noted through.

I go back to see my doctor in Kansas this weekend, I've already had my blood drawn. All I'm doing now is waiting for the Monday to get here...
Physically I have been doing better than my average, significantly. Mentally....I have no idea what I've done :/

A quick recap of my supplement protocol that I am currently following, fish oil, vitamin D 8,000IU, a liver cleanse for my smoothie(only used it since last Monday and I don't use it daily), and then a couple essential oils-rosemary, frankincense, peppermint, clove, and digestblend. Plus L glutamine and b-complex

Supplement Update

Pills pills pills, what else do we Lyme patients know??  I am reaching that time again when I take a break from the supplements. I go back to the center next month, I always take a break from the pills. This is to see what my body can hold without extra support. Yesterday I finished my adrenal support and today I finished my hormone support.
Before long I'll finish my parasite supplements and that will be the end of my rounds.

I have been taking AdrenoLyph plus by nutri west, Parazyme A by nutri west, and Dim Palmetto prostate by Allergy research group since November. Plus a homeopathic mixture made by my doctor.
I am feeling better and have more strength. Waking up at 9:00 is no longer like pulling teeth and I don't crash at the ends of the day. I get to sleep a touch earlier on average, not always but on average it is better.
My brain comes and goes, on a bad or tired day it's the first to go. I take a fish oil to hopefully help my brain regain strength. I think I am less ADD since starting it.

When I see the doctor next month I plan on telling him about my memory fog, other than that I need to be making note of what symptoms are still bothering me. I of course still have fatigue and motivation issues. Pain is unsubstantial and sleep is good enough.
I am moody though...like last week when work and school were on my mind driving me crazy, for no reason. There are things that could be better with both, but that's life. I may have something going on with my hormones maybe?? I don't know. I'll leave that to doc

Late Night Ramblings

Looks like tonight is going to be one of those nights that I am wired until I become unconscious. Today has been a great day but it's now the wee hours of the morning and this great day won't end. This morning I wrote a blog post for Linda as a guest on her blog page- OurLymeNation
It was one of those moments I sat down with my laptop, and it all just happened. My brain wasn't fried and I felt as if my thoughts actually made it onto the screen. It has been so long since something felt easy to me, especially when it comes down to using mental energy!

Later in the afternoon I was able to get some of my own projects completed, again this never happens! I was crossing stuff off the ye ole' to do list left and right. Usually life prevents me from having that kind of spare time.  Then this evening I visited a friends house to play games. One of my friends car broke down so I went to help out. The journey was successful and we fixed a broken steering belt pulley right there on the sides of the road.

So no matter which way I look a thing my day-it was highly productive! Don't get me wrong I am not complaining, my day was great. It's my night that is frustrating me.
My usual routine is to get into bed, and turn on something to watch while I sit in the dark and begin to get tired. Tonight's program was Touched by an Angel on YouTube, love that old show. No problem here.
But as my mind begins to wander...the things in the back of my mind begin to come out of the darkness. Nothing big, it's all those little things that just add up and up and up!
My job is the complaint de jour. I love my job and the people I get to see on a daily basis. I like that I make more than minimum wage. I enjoy being in the alternative medical field getting to do things other people have never heard of. But there are some things that bother me. I just have that aching paranoid feeling that they keep me for their convenience. Like I have one foot in the door and one foot on the way out. I'm not entirely sure where this thought stems from, I have never gotten in trouble in the year and a half I've worked there and I always do what I am told. But I work in a small office with somewhere around 10 employees, with only 5/6 people on a daily basis. I certainly do not work for a super busy office. In fact, I have had three days of work canceled since the beginning of February, and several other work days cut in half. There is just no work for me to do right now. You see, because it is a  alternative medical office all the patients pay for their care out of pocket-expensive. Now that tax time is coming up, people are saving their pennies (with good reason) and skipping out on coming into the office. This creates a slump in work for me. I like to feel useful, 10ish hours of work a week to me just seems almost boring...it's two or three hours this days and two or three hours another day. I don't have a long commute, but sometimes I feel like I spend more time in my care than actually working.

I absolutely love the patients and clients I have gotten to meet and work with, there are people I legitamitly look forward to seeing when I see their name come up on my schedule. But because it is a small office and we have a limited amount of services to offer, I have very little wiggle room for moving up in position. Actually the only promotion I could possibly get is to become a doctor! There are are no other positions under or over me. I have never gotten a raise, and I never expect to get one.
Which is fine, work isn't about the money but I strive for that feeling of accomplishment. Some days I feel like my job gives me the opposite effect. I talk to people I already know and people I meet About about my office, only one person has thought we could benefit them. I have only brought my company one new patient in my year and a half of employement.
The hang up is always the cost, when I tell people an initial visit not counting supplements is about $200 people walk. They love the idea of naturally giving their health a boost, but the average overworked person needing some nutritional and adrenal support aren't interested in paying for it.

My loop of thoughts tonight has been, is my job a dead end, could I be more useful somewhere else, are they slowly trying to phase me out, what else could I do that I would have a passion for, and what should I do?!

I'm not even taking into account all f the weird looks I eat when I talk about working for an alternative doctor. Most of my relatives think alternative medicine is an expensive scam. They won't say it, but they think I could be better somewhere else.

It all just comes back on me and makes me ask the question-is there something more fun and special out there??

Okay...it's time for round two of sleeping tonight...I need to stop rambling ...

Consult with the Doc

Don't worry, I didn't disappear I'm still here.. I know it's been a while..
I've had several great days this past month, but I've also had way too many days where I just crash. Winter time has always historically been my worst. According to my naturopath the winter season is when the adrenals have to run in high gear, so for those of us who are low on adrenals this time of year is taxing.
My brain the past month has just been flat lined. I've got nothing going on up here  right now. I wish I knew what caused my brain to shut off like this. I can't think, I can't remember, and I can't concentrate. Just lost in space....

I had my consult with my Hansa Doc a while back. I have some good numbers, so things are moving in the right direction! Blood work showed I needed Vit.D, and that's helped since I began taking it. The labs also showed a lower infection load in my system, that alone is great progress.
My saliva test results showed I had too much estrogen, testosterone, and dht in my system. All of this loops back to my adrenals struggling. He now has me taking a product to pull te excess out of my system.
My 24hr cortisol is significantly better than it was last it was tested. In the morning it's a little low, same at lunch, low normal afternoon, and normal at midnight. Overall I am not too far off from reaching normal range.
I still have to take some things for parasites, they are still present. No shock there.

I haven't felt too bad. Still have muscle fatigue and brain fog, which makes life hard. But I can manage.
I just wish I could get over this final hump and get back to normal!